every so often i have a cry
i just had a cry after thoughts of treatments came into my head
my last treatment was acupunture about 3 years ago. it didnt work
but i've had some body hair grow about 8 months ago. it hasnt fallen out, but it hasnt grown further.
i still consider myself to have AU
anywho
i was crying because i was reading the side effects of sulfasalazine which can be harsh.
i remember i've read articles about other even harsher drugs some take to regain their hair. i can say they are wrong in their choices as each person owns and controls their body and hopefully makes educated decisions. i am going to continue reading about peoples journeys with treatments in the hopes their could be a good one, that might work for me.
at this point in my life i dont want to commit to any treatments. we are trying for a baby and thats what really important to me at the moment.

but it makes me cry too. wondering what i would do to have hair. what would my family want.
as i write this i cry thinking my husband has never run his hands through my hair and i havent had hair since igh school. it hurts

to think how nice it would be to not have to wear a wig, or to think about how i'm going to approach the hair subject with people, to not feel awkward when people talk about hair, hairdressers or baldness.

i partly cant imagine being any other way than i am, and yet am reminded when looking at my twin sister what i could have been like, beautiful with auburn natural hair.

and i tell myself to snap out of it, think of all i have and all i have yet to experience. making me the person i am.

stay strong i tell myself.