It has been a while since I have been on the site. The holidays and school took me away for a while but things have settled down again and I intend to do a lot more posts on Alopecia World in the coming months.

I have much news to share, where shall I start. . . .

It was a wonderful holiday season for me, one of the best in years. I had a house full of people for about two weeks straight and I loved every moment of it. Anyone that knows me knows that I love the holidays (Thanksgiving being my favorite) and Christmas a close second. The last few years have been very rough because I have not realized my goals of having children. This year I just focused on family and have a great time together and we did!

My question in this post is: do you ever/have you ever worried about passing on your alopecia genetics to your children?

Honestly, I had never thought about it myself until a few weeks ago when someone posed the question to me.  I was sitting (at the dentist office) and praising a new mother, who was happy to share pics from her phone of her new baby.  She asked me if I had any children and I responded, "no, but I plan to very soon."  Then she asked me if they would be bald too?  

**Allow me to give you a little bit of back story.  Briefly before she whipped out her phone to show me the pics she had complimented my bald head and asked THE question.  So I had shared with her that I had alopecia.**

Initially, I was a bit offended and taken aback by her question.  I got a huge lump in my throat like I do when I feel someone has cornered me into a lie or worse, I am about to tell someone the raw truth about something that I know will hurt their feelings. 

I took a second to respond; looked at her and realized she meant no malice when she asked.  She just lacked sensitivity to realize it wasn't an appropriate question given our 5 minute relationship.

I said to her, "I don't think so, but I suppose it is possible."  At that moment I realized I had never considered it.  And while I am more than accepting of my baldness I do still dream of myself with hair.  Would my children turn out to be lovely little alopecians babies?

She made one more comment that struck a nerve and I was forced to let her have it!  She added that she would be so worried about passing on to her kids that she wouldn't have children at all.

This pissed me off; and maybe I was feeling a little extra sensitive but I am entitled to that, right?

So I asked her how she could sleep at night without knowing if she had passed on her IQ to her kid?

She instantly realized how she had made me feel and if I must say so myself, I did a great job returning the favor.

I must admit that the conversation planted a seed in my mind that has sprouted a new insecurity about my little unborn bundles of joy. I don't know if my children will have to deal with alopecia.  I am the only one on either side of my family for at least 2 generations that has had it.  

But if I do, meaning if my children do have alopecia I know I am the best mommy in the world to raise them as strong, confident, self-loving little people.  

What do you think?

Kristie Nicolette Howard

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