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Comment by KFlame on June 21, 2014 at 6:15am

I would go with what you feel best. I always wear a wig outside but in my home I never have it on. It often feels like the same relief I get taking shoes off my tired feet. I went to visit my dad for a few days I kept my wig on in his home and I was not sure if that was for his sake as it can be I feel a shock to suddenly go from hair to bald, or my own and often felt like just taking it off but didn't. Almost like I was trying to respect his feelings.

My fella once said he preferred me with the wig on rather then off but as we live together I'm sure he is used to seeing it off now. I don't think I could be happy wearing it for his sake in my own home.

Comment by Nicola on June 21, 2014 at 1:39am

Thanks everyone for all your wonderful feedback <3

Comment by Fuzzless on June 20, 2014 at 7:51pm

Hi Nicola,
Don't be hard on your friends and family.  I am sure they only want what is best for you, and may not realize how their comments affect you.  I saw this video the other day, maybe it will help you - what she says toward the end is so very true for all of us. 

Comment by andrea t on June 20, 2014 at 7:48pm

I understand your discomfort--very similar to my feelings. It's easy to feel like a fraud since you know how the "real" you looks and people who find you attractive might not, if they saw you without hair. For me, it has always hampered my life and I think I would have been better off had I had the nerve to go wigless. At least then I would be more self-accepting and others would just have to deal with their own reactions and feelings and either get over it, or not. It's very complicated and always lingering in the wings is the feeling of duplicity, of misrepresentation. Social norms, especially those you either don't agree with or conform to, or both, can be constricting and by hiding, I've never dealt with the many issues baldness raises.

Comment by Jessie on June 20, 2014 at 7:26pm

I am 45 and have had alopecia since I was 5. when I was little it was just spots so the rest of my hair could cover it. About age 27 it all fell out and never came back. I wear a wig and have ever since. it s a personal feeling. I do feel prettier when I wear it , but my family is like whatever you want. when I have gone on vacation I often will just wear a scarf or hat and I get the "sympathy " looks because they assume you have cancer. I can usually ignore this, but sometimes it reminds me of why I wear my wig. When I have seen young women, or old in public without I give a huge smile and always greet them. I want to give them a big hug and tell them how much I admire their strength. so..all this being said, if you are strong enough with how you look with or without then go with that. I admire your strength!

Comment by Bekk on June 20, 2014 at 6:54pm

I have alopecia universalis & apart from a brief period in my late 20s when my hair grew back I've been bald & proudly so. At 20 the loss of a huge amount of thick long curly hair (as well as thick Italian eyebrows, lashes etc) was immense but once I'd sagged the straggly bits the only logical option for me was bald. The only people I knew who wore wigs we're drag queens & it didn't feel right for me...despite lots of pressure from doctors (the same drs who kept encouraging me to treat the condition with dangerous drugs like cortisone etc) to conform to societal norms - no one else ever questioned it, not family, partners, employers. In 20 years I have found people on the whole to be supportive & non judgmental about it. Sure people stare it's natural - I actually prefer open questions (the kind children are so good at asking & get shushed for in public!) as it's most uncomfortable when it's the elephant in the room & people are 'too polite' to ask questions.

Luckily I hav a nicely shaped head tho - it suits me!

Comment by Kat on June 20, 2014 at 6:08pm

Renee Thank you

Comment by Renee on June 20, 2014 at 6:01pm

I say do what makes YOU feel comfortable... I still find that a great amount of people still have no clue as to what alopecia is.  I have had alopecia since I was 27 and I am now 47..  I started off still having some hair left and now I just have a hair line and some hair on the top of my head..  I find myself asking God to please give me some of my hair back, it does'nt have to be long.   I love short hair :).  I  still get frustrated a lot. But I know I have to go out into the world everyday.  For me, I don't feel comfortable going with my wig..   Do you what you feel is right for your situation..

 

And for Kat.  I feel the same way you do also.  I didn't feel feminine any longer without my eyelashes and eyebrows.  So I taught myself how to apply eyelashes and draw in eyebrows and until they came back about 1 yr later...  I'm sure you know that there are tatoo artists that can tatoo eyebrows also...         

Comment by margaret watson on June 20, 2014 at 5:41pm

I totally agree. I wore a wig from age 25-40 - no one then went around bald, but as my confidence grew I felt that I was ready to go without my wig; (and my hair had started to grow a bit too), during 40-50 it went through ups and down but I never went back to wearing my wig at school (I'm a teacher)again. Eventually at age 50 the whole lot went, eyebrows and lashes too, but I had the confidence to walk tall (bald) and be proud of who I was and how I looked. I must say I felt complete and truly me rather than (I felt) hiding the real me under a wig. Having talked to many Alopecia sufferers EVERYONE is different and no one can or should tell you what to do. It is such a horrible and unladylike condition that I feel anyone and everyone who suffers this needs a medal. Eventually I feel totally at easy, in fact feel I should tell and show the world about this. No one understands how difficult (emotionally)this can be. I came through it - with enhancing personality qualities. I was lucky - it can go either way. My only wish is that others would do the same so I don't feel I'm alone - bald. Margaret Watson, Woodbury, Exeter, Devon

Comment by Brenna on June 20, 2014 at 5:40pm

Hey Nicola, 

Great questions!  I have alopecia universalis, have had no hair for 11 years, and don't (won't!) wear a wig.  I have lots of great hats to keep my head warm and/or shaded, but mostly I prefer to go bald.  I wrote an essay about my journey to come to terms with being a bald girl - that has my answers to several of your questions.  It is at: http://cedarmoon.us/baldnbold.html    I encourage you to read it - and to be your authentic self, whatever that means for you.  

bald & proud, Brenna

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