I have felt self consious of the unknown and would like any ideas of how people deal with people staring and wondering, etc. and how do you know if the eyeliner is suppose to be dark, light, thick or thin eyebrows? With woman syles change so often I believe that it is very hard..

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The best answer to this question is whatever makes you feel better! i would also look in fashion magazines and check out the local beauty schools too.
Ah ha.. beauty schools good one! THanks my dear:-)
Hi Tina,
I find the best way to deal with inquisitive people is to educate them! Obviously you/I know when someone is staring at us etc. usually I find that they are more curious than anything. I'm a bit of a joker (often a good way to break the ice) and when I feel that I need to address someone's curiosity I do it in a light manner "oh do I have food on my face?", "Oh is my hair on backwards?!" all with a smile. Usually you catch them off guard and the stumble around, and reply with something like "oh no, no I was just wondering, why do you draw on your eyebrows etc.? (or what ever it is). Its then, that I explain about this auto immune disorder (and I always use terms like condition or disorder when referring to alopecia, as it is less alarming and less threatening to the "hairy ones"). :-D I welcome the opportunity to educate them (especially because I hate being asked if I have cancer, I mean do I look like I have cancer?!)

With regards to makeup it is so individual, just like the clothes we wear. I'm so past trying to keep up with the latest fashion and find that defining my own personal style is more complimentary and actually has staying power. For makeup tips why not treat yourself to a pro cosmetic make over? Clerks at department stores just love to rope customers in and give them a new makeup "look". More importantly finding out what your "colours" are helps you create a look that really works for you.

I imagine there are a lot of people who will back me up on this when I say that with makeup "Less is More!". Simply having healthy looking skin and bright clear eyes is a great first step. A bit of concealer for the under eye shadows, translucent powder, a tad of blush. I still draw on my eyebrows with a pencil (a bit of a pain) and set them with powder. I usually only line the top of my eyelids with a liquid dark brown liner. A fairly thin line gives my eyes definition and when I wan to vamp it up I will use a soft pencil and do my bottom rim of my eyes too and shadow in the crease. Just have fun experimenting with the eye makeup, what looks good on one person is not necessarily complimentary to another. Its really all about trial and error and having fun with it :-D
I am a very bubbly, outgoing and forward person so when someone I feel is starring it is hard. You are very right about individuality* though..Thanks for the tips.
We do have so many options and choices of what we want to wear on our heads, be it our baldness, a wig, a headwrap or a hat...it is our choice! Do what works for you, try them all...different colors and shapes of make up liners and styles. Take pictures and find what works for you. Accessorize, accessorize, accessorize! :)

If you show others that you don't have a problem with your look...You show your strength...

It is up to us to show that we are the captains of our ships, spreading the Awareness of Alopecia and how we as Natural Beauties can live with wigs, headwrap, hats, a bald head or however we please!
Hi Yvonne, and thanks for your lovely positive energy. Accessorize is something I have never been good at, but always thought it would help.. I used to have the bald look and confidence and then I got sick of people feeling sorry for me.. but I do know this site helps.. Thanks!
I guess I got lucky -- my mother was a model as a teenager herself, and so when I first started playing with makeup as a tween she sat me down and taught me how to put it on properly so when I went out I didn't look like a clown! Unfortunately, one of my sisters never paid attention and it drives me crazy!!! Sidebar aside, I'll answer the makeup questions first and then how I deal with nosy folks.

As far as eyeliner is concerned, the rule of thumb I was taught is light eyeliner if you want your eyes to look wide (read: awake) and sparkly, and dark if you want them to look smaller OR if you are trying to go for the dramatic look. Fortunately, I have eyebrows, but they are real light and thin, so for evening I tend to draw them in a little bit to make them look fuller. Me personally, I like color, and since I'm so fair with green eyes I can do a lot to change my look. For example, today I have 3 different shades of lavender/purple eyeshadow and teal cream eyeliner on my eyes to match a lavender linen outfit with dark iridescent beads I wore today to work. One of my male coworkers couldn't stop staring at me today, and when I asked him why his answer was because he was trying to figure out exactly what color my eyes were -- he said they were a grayish green with what looked like blue specks in them. I was flattered, of course!!! I like mixing colors and creating new looks, but I always make sure I balance it out -- for example, if I have bold eyes, I have a neutral lip, and if I have a bold lip (think Bloody Mary red or dark burgundy) then I will keep my eyes neutral and try not to bring as much attention to them. Keeping up with styles is really not as hard as you think it is -- at the end of the day, it's all about finding one style that works for you and sticking with it!

Now, as far as dealing with nosy people is concerned, the way I deal with them depends entirely on my mood that day. If I feel like answering questions, then I will take the time to educate them about alopecia. That is, if I haven't exceeded my daily of quota of "do you have cancer?" or "why are you bald?" -- HELLO, do I freakin LOOK like I have cancer??? On my fed-up days my answer to everything is "No I don't have cancer, and if you acted like you had some home training you wouldn't ask me such a dumbass question and just let me be." That pretty much takes care of everything!!!
Girl!!! LMAO I Love your wits! :D You got that right! (your answers on the money... Do you have cancer?) That's a great comeback! :D I totally agree with you on that too, my answers depend on my moods...but that was a good one. I'm still laughing! :D

I am also writing down your tips on the make-up too!
Thanks YoKasta! :)

~Yvonne
Honey, the whole POINT of makeup is to have fun!!! I guess I have spent too much time with my training class, because today all the women came in wearing various shades of brown and gold!!! Of course, one of the guys in my training class asked me to kiss him on his cheek (how cute -- his excuse was he wanted to be kissed by a pretty girl that smelled good, LOL) and he wound up wearing gold lipstick the rest of the day!!!

Today was one of those "I'm so SICK of dumbass questions" days, so rather than waste my time with a smart comeback I just looked at them right crazy and said, "People with cancer going thru chemo DON'T have eyebrows. Would you like to reconsider your statement?" The idiot who asked that question turned real red and walked off without saying anything else. Truly a gratifying moment!!
You are a brave and beautiful woman and I admire your attitude!.. I hope someday we meet:-)
Im laughing too.. that is as truthful and right on as you can be... people can be mean and brainless.. Hugs, Tina
I think I'll branch out of my comfort zone and give some of YoKasta's make up tips a try too! Adding a bit more colour may be just the extra "lift" I need on a day like today!

Thanks for the tips and expanding my pallette!

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