why is it assumed?

that all bald women are fighting cancer? Everyone just assumes that a woman with no hair has cancer. I'm sick of people assuming I have cancer! I don't have cancer.

I just get so frustrated with this. People ask me ALL the time if I have cancer, or worse, just ASSUME i do. Has anyone else experienced this? What do you do?

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Permalink Reply by jamie1 on October 8, 2008 at 1:31pm
No stranger has ever approached me with the chemo/cancer question. However, i'm sure that some make that assumption. If it's a stanger, I really don't care what they think. Sometimes, the seroius illness stuff works to my advantage I suppose. I do seem to get faster, more polite service from waitresses. At work, incorrect assumptions really agitate me. When someone is too intrusive, I just show them a note from my doc saying that I have alopecia and am otherwise quite healthy. I had that note laminated! Ask a nosy question, I'll give you an upfront answer ...in writing. That seems to stop the gossip and speculation. Get too intrusive with a person who has a documented medical condition in a work environment, well , that can be considered harrassment. Can anyone spell LAWSUIT?
Permalink Reply by Mari on October 8, 2008 at 1:59pm
that is ALWAYS the assumption people have around me! I hate it to be honest. I wish there was some way to educate people that there are other reasons for people to be bald besides being sick.
Permalink Reply by Cherylnz on October 8, 2008 at 3:31pm
Hi Reen,
They are most likely the people that don't know about Alopecia.
We moved to a small town back in January and I would have thought that no-one would have even heard of Alopecia let alone know what it is. That was until a couple of weeks ago when I was at my Husbands work on a Friday evening (just after they had closed for that day) and a few of us were there chatting about the Cure-Kids fundraising project that the company my Husband works for is involved with. The idea came up that some should volunteer to get their heads shaved to raise some money. The show-room Lady said that her Husband and some other men had volunteered to have that done on a previous fundraiser. Well not only did they shave his head they did his eyebrows as well and when she saw him she told him that he looked like someone that has "Alopecia", I was very surprised. That would be the first time I have ever heard someone (in person) mention Alopecia apart from when I have talked about it to my family or friends that know that I have it. I haven't had the chance to find how she knows but oneday I will ask.
Permalink Reply by Sophie on October 9, 2008 at 6:30am
I'm not bald, but I do find that most people jump to the wrong conclusion. There's a guy at my school suffering from Alopecia, and my friends were looking at him the other day talking about cancer and I explained to them that it's Alopeica. People should think about things before saying them. x
Permalink Reply by Debbie on October 9, 2008 at 11:55am
That is probably the only reason why I won't go without my wig. I don't want people to stare at me and assume I have cancer. I know it shouldn't matter what people think, but some days it does. Some days I'm brave enough to say "who cares", but I still haven't gone without it. Mostly it's my husband that would cringe. He prefers me to have it on. In the summer I just want to rip it off.
Right now my hair is growing, but spotty, o who knows what people would think if they say me. Again, I shouldn't care, but I do.
Do any of those shampoo commercials bother you? They drive me crazy to watch them swing their long, beautiful hair around. Just wondering!
Permalink Reply by Mari on October 9, 2008 at 3:29pm
I agree Debbie, those commercials bother me too. I am not sure about men, but I think the hardest thing is that "hair" is so much associated with being a beautiful woman that to not have it makes me feel LESS of a woman. I had a friend suggest coming out with head jewelry or something along that line for us alopecians. Something to say we are okay without our hair. I mean, that is the whole reason I went back to wearing my wig- people don't consider you "pretty" without hair, or normal. And I find that sad, to feel pretty I want to look like everyone else- even though I am totally comfortable with being bald.
Permalink Reply by Debbie on October 9, 2008 at 11:16pm
I think that's how my husband thinks. I would be willing to go without the wig (some days) and he always says you look better with it. Then I feel terrible about that. You learn to compromise when you're married, but why do I have to compromise on this. I know how he feels if I go without it, but does he really understand how I feel with it, especially when it's 95 degrees out. Knowing how self conscious I am, can't he accept it and tell me I look ok, even if I don't. Sometimes I don't know if i want the truth on that or not. My friends that know couldn't care less whether I had it on or not. I wish he felt that way.
But now that I'm getting a lot of hair back, although still spotty in certain areas, now I look like I'm sick without hair. So now for sure people would think I'm sick. I wish I had some answers.
Permalink Reply by CSue on October 10, 2008 at 11:08pm
Oh yeah, it happened to me just last week in the ladies locker room at the gym when someone saw me without my wig or hat (I always change into a cap to work out). The funny thing is I have quite a bit of hair except right on the top (female pattern baldness), but I keep it cut super short. I guess it seems obvious to me that I have FPB and I don't understand why people act like they've never seen it before (I had even before mine got this thin).
Permalink Reply by BaldGirlsDoLunch.org on October 10, 2008 at 11:32pm
People naturally make associations based on what they're exposed to.

The 6 major corporations that own nearly all the media in the US have created a visual paradigm across all formats so that bald + women must = chemo. In American culture it's pervasive. You would have to be living in a cave for the past 10 years to not make that association based on media exposures.

The average American is bombarded with that single image because of the breast cancer awareness campaigns. It used to be that the campaigns were limited to one month..October I think. But now, if you look at the national schedules for the breast cancer walks( Avon, Susan Komen, etc.) you'll see that there is one happening somewhere in the US just about every week of the year.That in and of itself is not a bad thing.. but it helps explain the challenges of the job we're doing to bring new and positive images of healthy bald women onto the radar screens of the public.

So I'll put in a little plug here to support BGDL with donations ( and when you're there, check out our thank you gifts) ..because one of our core missions is to change the public's perception by giving them more accurate portrayals of women. We're doing it on TV, radio, print and internet. We're glad that many people are raising money to find cures, but we're devoting resources to the things that improve women's lives today.Google Bald Girls Do Lunch for a sample of our wide ranging media impressions....some serious, some funny, some even sexy...but all getting the right kind of attention. And don't hesitate to let us know how else you want us to get these messages out.

We love to hear from everyone.

Thea
Permalink Reply by jo chesson on October 13, 2008 at 4:19pm
yes i get this alt when I wear a head scarf, someone once even said they saw me in the cancer dept at the local hopsital!! they are crazy, recently I was on a beach in cyprus and a woman asked me if I was having chemo! Nightmare, sometimes I feel like they will make me have cancer!!!!!!!!!
Permalink Reply by kastababy on October 14, 2008 at 7:41pm
If I had a dollar for every person I've come across in my lifetime that assumes I have cancer, I wouldn't have to work! (LOL)

Nowadays, my response to dumb questions like that is to not answer them at all. I just pretend that the person who asked the question doesn't exist. Of course, if I'm in a really bad mood, then I answer the question with a question of my own:

"Didn't your momma ever teach you that it's rude to stare at people?"

Of course, if a child asks me why I don't have any hair, I tell them that God made everybody different. Some of God's children have hair and some of us don't -- and if we all looked the same then the world would be a very boring place indeed.
Permalink Reply by Reen on October 15, 2008 at 2:55pm
Kasta, love the last part of your reply! I agree... we can't change people's ignorance or rudeness, but we can educate children now.

Thumbs up!

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