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Permalink Reply by Trina on April 2, 2008 at 10:31am

I usually tell them through a joke! I think it is hard to decide how to tell someone. It is normally when I guy says so why do you always wear fake hair... I say because I dont have any want to see???? they are usually at a loss for words.. I think it depends on my comfort level at that moment, because I dont want to make them feel like they should be sad. I think that is why I make it a light moment to let them know it is ok and I am comfortable.

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Permalink Reply by kastababy on April 3, 2008 at 7:59am

I'm EXTREMELY tender-headed, and because I was always picked on and people felt that they should touch my head as a child, I refuse to let anyone touch my head as an adult. So the subject usually comes up when I'm in an intimate situation and someone moves to touch my head -- I move their hands away and tell them that they can touch anything beneath my eyebrows. When they ask why, I tell them because I have alopecia and I just don't like anyone touching my head for any reason. If they ask to see, then I take off my scarf or wig and show them. Once that is done, the dialogue is opened up and we can discuss alopecia in detail. It works sometimes, sometimes it doesn't. But that's what works for me.

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Permalink Reply by kastababy on October 6, 2008 at 1:08pm

I actually have to update my own comment! My wonderful, loving boyfriend (with whom I have reunited after 3 years apart from each other -- we both needed to grow up and resolve some lingering issues) and I have been having a dialogue about how and when to break the news about alopecia for the past week.

Prior to us breaking up a few years ago, the way I told him was to email him the link to the NAAF website and asked him to explore the website in its entirety. When he was done, he was supposed to call me back and we would talk about it. Well, he did that, and wanted to know why I wanted him to look at the site. I told him then that it was because AA was the reason I wore scarves all the time. At the time, he took it pretty well, because I still had full growth on my head. Since we've reconciled and reunited, though, it has taken a little bit for him to get used to. He is getting better about it every day, and he tells me constantly that he loves me unconditionally -- although he did ask if I would wear a scarf for a week or two while he still made the adjustment. He doesn't want me to wear the scarves in bed when we sleep at night, of course, but I'm not quite sure how to handle that request. On the one hand, I know that seeing me go around with a bald head for the first time was shocking, but on the other hand, I don't want to compromise myself either. So far though, I haven't put a scarf on my head -- and he hasn't said anything about it. Now that we've found love with each other the second time around, we are learing to compromise and talk to each other more about the things that are problematic for us -- and he makes sure to tell me just how beautiful he thinks I am, hair or no hair! :)

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Permalink Reply by rj, Co-founder on October 6, 2008 at 1:36pm

YoKasta, I must say that I'm elated to hear that you've rediscovered such amazing love. I certainly wish you and your beau a lovetime of peace, prosperity, and mutual pleasure. :-)

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Permalink Reply by spaganya on April 6, 2008 at 8:35pm

Telling friends and telling a significant other are two different things to me. Usually if its a friend, i make a joke of it or just say it matter of factly, and if they have questions I answer them. But for my significant other, I am straightforward, and tell them directly that i have alopecia universalis and i have NO hair, and i gage his reaction to the news. Usually they already know. I figure if i am comfortable with it, then they will be too.

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