On Thursday, my daughter got her first wig styled. We are having a difficult time with this though because we can't style it and feel like it is too big for her. She was SO excited about it, and loved it the first day but liked a little less yesterday, and was in tears and asking why alopecia chose her. I was wondering if you had any suggestions? We got our wig from Children With Hairloss, as they are really expensive, and we are a family of 5 living off of one income. I don't know if there are other options? Any tips on styling? The sides won't stay down so she can't wear a pony, or pig tails, or even braids. It was a really horrible ordeal today, and I am just looking for some answers.

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Hi Miranda!!

As someone who wore wigs as a child herself, I can definitely sympathize with your little girl. The problem with children's wigs, fortunately or not, is that the styles are very limited, as you just discovered. When I was younger, wigs for children simply did not exist. My parents came up with a pretty ingenious solution: They purchased an adult wig and then had it cut down to size to fit my head. The excess hair was then sewn back into the newly created children's wig, giving it fullness and making it look very natural. I could pull it into a pony tail, wear pigtails, and braid it loosely. For that option to work, the lady that I purchased my wigs from (who I still purchase my wigs from as an adult) made a mold of my head and would do the sewing herself. If this option is not a feasible option, then for a 5-year old, create options. If there are days where she does not want to wear her hair, then don't push her. If she does, then she does.

This is the most important time in your little girl's life in terms of her learning to live with her alopecia. Because she still takes many of her emotional cues from you and your husband, how you deal with the situation is going to be very important. If you treat her like a china doll, very delicate and always afraid that something bad is going to happen, then she will behave the same way. However, if you treat her and the situation as if she is still perfectly normal, then she will behave normally, and the inevitable teasing and taunting that comes with childhood will not hurt her or affect her as deeply as you would imagine.

One other option in dealing with the wig that you have currently is to use headbands. By using the headbands in conjunction with the wig, you create the option of being able to pull the wig in a ponytail or pigtails. If you are not sure that it will work, try styling it on a wig head first to see how it looks. If you are pleased with the result, then try it on your little girl's head and see if she likes it.

I hope this helps you. Please keep us posted and let us know how it turns out.
Miranda,

How is it going with Della's wig? Post somewhere...The mom I told you about said she emailed you today..I hope she can be a good resource of you in your neck of the woods!!!

Cindy
Hi there! I too grew up with AA/AT/now AU and as a child I wore many wigs that were "not quite right". Still to this day I have a hard time getting a natural look due to the fact that I have a small head. Usually the wigs are just too full and have simply have way too much hair in them. We (my mom and then me after I learned a few tricks) would remove actual horizontal wefts of hair and "tuck" and sew to make the cap smaller. That did help with the excessive volume and made it feel a little more secure.

Another thing that we did to help with they styling options - we sewed in little patches of a smooth material along the front hair line, at the temples and center of the crown. Those patches were then used as the location for two-way tape. I had no hair at all so the tape was fine, it didn't harm any hairs there. The tape is a little clumsy to work with until you get the hang of it. I still sometimes use tape of wig glue or "spirit gum" to affix my wigs.

Another simple solution to hide an un natural looking crown or excessive volume of hair is to wear a wide fabric headband. Check out my file, there is a picture of me with a blonde wig on, I am wearing a fabric head band in that photo. It gives me added security with out adhesives. I often wear the headband if I am going to do an up-sweep to a loose bun or pullled back into a low pony tail.

With regards to the sides "not staying down", try the sewn adhesive spot patches near the ears, also you could try sewing in fabric covered "Stays" (like wire stays) some of my wigs have them. It gives defined direction to the cap with out being to rigid. You can bend them to shape the area that you want to follow the curve of. It is an easy retrofit. If you need more info on how to do that, let me know.

Also if you can further describe the cap construction and wig style, length etc (or post a picture if your daughter is comfortable with that) I may have more suggestions if I could put an eye on it. Perhaps if you also had info on her head size (take the measurement just above the eyebrows, around the head) I can make some suggestions for reasonable prices wig brands/styles that may be an option in the future. I now know that it is very important to not purchase wigs that have "faux scalp" or machine made tops/crowns. Always consider mono-top or hand tied top wigs. That's what I wear, I wear the Raquel Welch Brand of wigs in petite/ average and do some "fine tuning" on my own.

An hey, don't fret, I've been there in her shoes a million times and know first hand how frustrating it can be. Sometimes even the worst looking wig can end up being really cute and comfy, we're here to help :-D

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