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After "hiding" for so long, how do you step out and tell the world about your alopecia?
I've had alopecia since I was about nine but I've always kept it hidden under box braids, hair extensions and wigs. Only my immediate family knew for a long time. Now I am twenty-three years old and I really want to get more comfortable with myself. I'm hoping to try going outside without anything covering my head. BIG step.
But how do I just go from wearing a wig one day to rocking my bald head the next and not feel like I have explain it to everyone? Anyone else been here?
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by maria on
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As a hairstylist who has worked in non - surgical hair restoration for over 15 years I understand the hesitation in revealing some thing that is such a sensitive subject. I can tell you in all my years of doing hair nothing has ever taken my breath away like the beauty you see when you look at a woman without her hair. Hair is some times I think a distraction from the true beauty in our eyes, cheekbones, lips. Always keep in mind that talking about itwill take the power away from others it is also healing. Look at other celebrities that have done it before (Demi Moore) google pics and it will help to see visually how they we're able to pull it of. I have a blog called helpimlosingmyhair.com in the near future I will be posting tutorials to help women who suffer from hair loss be a
little more hands on without feeling lost or dependent on a stylist. Please visit my page and leave suggestions on how I can help you. Please remember your gorgeous darling own it. -
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Permalink Reply by Janet on
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Chenelle, My AU happened just 2 years ago, I found wigs to be too hot for me so mostly wear hats, but also often go out bald. I have found that the best defense (answering questions, worrying about looks, etc) is an offense...I hold my head high, look people in the eye, and smile...often even starting a conversation (i.e. about groceries, weather, whatever...). I still experience uncomfortable feelings, but am finding them coming less often as I go out bald more often. One side note, I am 62, with a very supportive husband, family and friends...not sure how I would have handled all this at your age. Best of luck to you!
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Permalink Reply by Suzanne on
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I find that there is always someone who stares or asks about my balding/bald head... but be strong, be you, and be proud of who you are today. Smile and teach that person something new. It can only help, and i feel I am helping myself and others but explaining what Alopecia is. Good luck, you can do it.
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Permalink Reply by Tiff on
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You and many of those responding are inspiring me. I am going to start wearing scarves when the weather gets warmer. I really am tired of wearing wigs, weaves, hats and worrying about the wind. I also really want to go swimming. Please let me know when you take that first step. I want to do it the same day.
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I am going to take that step this summer or maybe sooner. I just got a lot of beautiful scarves and spanish style hijab bonnets from ebay. I will let you know the day I do it. I have worn scarves before (to go to the store) for short periods of time, but never a full day. I get mistaken for a Muslim which makes the hubby and kids uncomfortable but I am tired of wearing wigs and hats in the 90 degree heat so they are going to have to get over it. Maybe I will wear a cross with the scarf. LOL.
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That's encouraging to know that people were nice. I was thinking I would wear it with some material hanging on the side so it looks more like a fashion statement.
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Permalink Reply by Kimmer on
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I figured that I'd use social media to tell my friends and family. I took photos of my with hair, showing my bald spot. Then I shaved my head, took photos and posted all the photos in Facebook, explaining it to them. I got amazing responses from everyone. :)
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Permalink Reply by michelle on
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I did that as well. This way I didn't have to explain it over and over. As you, I received awesome supportive responses!
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Permalink Reply by Kathleen on
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I did the same thing. Wanted everyone to know the news firsthand from me, and everyone to get the same story, at the same time.
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The first step is to look in a mirror and know how amazing you are! I have been where you are at. I know and understand the insecurity that comes from stepping out into the open with a beautiful bald head! People will take cues from you and how you react. For me it was the most liberating step I have ever taken in my life! Step out with confidence! Own it! Be the girl that has the courage to be who you are. I never wore wigs or hats unless it was cold and just needed my head covered. Yes it was hard at first because you feel so exposed on many levels but embracing who you are will lead you to a happier place in life than feeling like you have to hide. I wish you all the best! The courage is inside of you! Now is the time to grab it and use it to wow the world! Be bold! Be beautiful! Be bald and proud!
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So many wonderful and encouraging responses here from people with experience, and compassion. I'm loving reading these.
Chenelle you have reached a milestone in your own reality and good for you seeking out insight to other people's experiences. You need to do what is right for you and a lot of people have given you some good and gentle advice.
I am fairly new to the Alopecia World (diagnosed last summer with Alopecia Areata (AA) at the age of 52. I am 53 now. Within a few short weeks of diagnosis I shaved the rest of my hair off. I felt beautiful again once I did it. I warned all of my family, my colleagues, the Board of Directors that I work closely with, ahead of time that I had Alopecia, told them what it was, and let them know that the next time they saw me I may look different (scarves/caps/etc.), or quite possibly bald. The support I got was tremendous. I also told them bald jokes were welcome, as we might as well laugh about a situation that we cannot do anything about. Most importantly, I told them all that I did not want them to think I was ill, and to extend those kinds of sympathies to the many that deserve them.
Support and encouragement has been tremendous and continuous. I underwent steroid scalp injections and am currently experiencing hair re-growth, but know that it may fall out again at any time. And when and if it does, I will shave my head again, and rock the bald. I am no longer afraid of it at all. Plus I have a huge inventory of scarves and caps for dressing up the bald if its cold out, or if I feel like it. LOL. You go Chenelle, whatever way feels right for you. For me, it was bald. I have never sported a wig.
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Permalink Reply by Molly Vazquez on
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I had Alopecia when I was 12- Alopecia Areata turned to Totalis and then Universalis.
My mom allowed me to become Homeschooled- I devoted all of my childhood to try and figure out Alopecia and how to get rid of it. Well, I did just that and I've been Alopecia free for 6yrs now. I made a video about How I became Alopecia Free.
I hope you find it helpful,
Molly Vazquez, Author & Educator of Alopecia & Wellness: How I got my hair back
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