Alopecia in college

Hello everyone reading!

Ok , so a new semester is approaching, and I now want to take that leap, where for the 1st time I'll be going without my wig to college. I'm at a new college with a new slate. Therefore I want to do things differently. I'm really excited however I do have moments of being a bit nervous. If anyone could give me some pointers ( how to go about it, dress it up, reactions recieved, ways to speak on it) from your experiences I would appreciate it sooo much. Can't wait to hear of what it was like for you all who took that step into college. :)

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Permalink Reply by ASRN on January 1, 2015 at 5:26pm

When I started to bare the bald I started to wear a bit more makeup and bigger earrings because it helped me feel more feminine. I got really positive feedback from men and women. You will be amazed at how quickly people will get used to it. Kids will be very honest. You just have to respond with grace in those situations. Good luck!

Permalink Reply by Jordan on May 23, 2015 at 1:41pm
Delete
Hi everyone ! This is my first time back since I've posted this. I must say the semester has been a a challenging one. I honestly did not go completely bald. This may sound like an excuse but I never had a good support system most of my family rejected me when it happened , so I still had a few bad voices lingering, and now that I'm in school alone I really didn't have a support system for when I heard more of those comments and received more weird stares. So before I did something like that I Wanted to make sure I had a strong suport system. However, I did do something different, which was I made sure to tell everyone! I like wigs because I've always liked hair. I went bald for a month and realized it was bold, sassy and beautiful but I was also cold, then sweaty, then left with everything that came with it alone since I am not with any friends or family.

There has been a few things I've learned...

1).I like wigs , I like bald, I like the creativity of it. And being bald in Miami is not much different from having hair. Either way you sweat. ;-)

2) the joy of being honest. I tell people now ! Such a HUGE step for me. I've watched people claim me as being valueless. Not fun to hear yet I'm very proud of myself of just facing everyone who compliments my hair (wig) with the truth and enjoying the journey of the many reactions.

3.) step by step, my confidence grows. One-day I will maybe go forever bald. Some days I don't mind. I do my best to embrace the bright side. (Good health, humor, strength, creativity as many of you on here have helped me gain)

Although I didn't get the chance to personally reply to everyone, although we may not know each other physically but by spirit I love you all. You all have helped me sooooo much. You all have made a journey that I just wanted to give up on, not seem so bad, or in fact gave me a new perspective, new options, a new kind of courage. Now, bit by bit , I'm excited to see who actually sticks around rather than dreading watching people leave. Thank you all so much. We're in this journey together and I'm excited to see how we all handle and grow from this throughout life. <3
Permalink Reply by Shelly on January 1, 2015 at 11:03pm

My dear you have NOTHING to worry about, you are gorgeous!!!  I think you wear bald well!  Try to relax and show your confidence, the confidence that makes you want to go bald.  Embrace it, we are amazing people and people will respect and support you....if they don't, you don't need them!

Enjoy this new phase of your life!

~Shelly

P.s. I love going out bald...it' my preferred method, but I do find wigs keep me warmer, like a sweater.

Permalink Reply by Jordan on May 23, 2015 at 1:41pm
Delete
Hi everyone ! This is my first time back since I've posted this. I must say the semester has been a a challenging one. I honestly did not go completely bald. This may sound like an excuse but I never had a good support system most of my family rejected me when it happened , so I still had a few bad voices lingering, and now that I'm in school alone I really didn't have a support system for when I heard more of those comments and received more weird stares. So before I did something like that I Wanted to make sure I had a strong suport system. However, I did do something different, which was I made sure to tell everyone! I like wigs because I've always liked hair. I went bald for a month and realized it was bold, sassy and beautiful but I was also cold, then sweaty, then left with everything that came with it alone since I am not with any friends or family.

There has been a few things I've learned...

1).I like wigs , I like bald, I like the creativity of it. And being bald in Miami is not much different from having hair. Either way you sweat. ;-)

2) the joy of being honest. I tell people now ! Such a HUGE step for me. I've watched people claim me as being valueless. Not fun to hear yet I'm very proud of myself of just facing everyone who compliments my hair (wig) with the truth and enjoying the journey of the many reactions.

3.) step by step, my confidence grows. One-day I will maybe go forever bald. Some days I don't mind. I do my best to embrace the bright side. (Good health, humor, strength, creativity as many of you on here have helped me gain)

Although I didn't get the chance to personally reply to everyone, although we may not know each other physically but by spirit I love you all. You all have helped me sooooo much. You all have made a journey that I just wanted to give up on, not seem so bad, or in fact gave me a new perspective, new options, a new kind of courage. Now, bit by bit , I'm excited to see who actually sticks around rather than dreading watching people leave. Thank you all so much. We're in this journey together and I'm excited to see how we all handle and grow from this throughout life. <3
Permalink Reply by Londongirldee on January 2, 2015 at 2:32pm
Hi Jordan.
I've had a scan read of some of the responses you have already had on here and there is a ton of great advice.
I ditto that you look beautiful anyway and that being confident is the key.
Yes people may look but they may and probably are actually thinking positive things such as wow doesn't she look great, i like her earrings. They may possibly be wondering about your hair or lack if but that's not in itself a bad thing.
I've chosen to mostly go bald since having to shave my hair off after it matted a couple of months ago and honestly have had no negativity at all. In fact I often forget that I have no hair.
I feel exactly the same and act the same and as a result people treat me the same.
As for makeup etc it's a great excuse to do some shopping/ restyling. I actually look for ideas on here and have googled some 'bald women' images and to get some fashion ideas. I'm still experimenting.
I like to wear earrings and makeup and have found that some things suit my new look more than others.
Starting a new college is a great time to reinvent yourself.
Have an amazing time! Smile! That relaxes you and others.
Permalink Reply by Jordan on May 23, 2015 at 1:41pm
Delete
Hi everyone ! This is my first time back since I've posted this. I must say the semester has been a a challenging one. I honestly did not go completely bald. This may sound like an excuse but I never had a good support system most of my family rejected me when it happened , so I still had a few bad voices lingering, and now that I'm in school alone I really didn't have a support system for when I heard more of those comments and received more weird stares. So before I did something like that I Wanted to make sure I had a strong suport system. However, I did do something different, which was I made sure to tell everyone! I like wigs because I've always liked hair. I went bald for a month and realized it was bold, sassy and beautiful but I was also cold, then sweaty, then left with everything that came with it alone since I am not with any friends or family.

There has been a few things I've learned...

1).I like wigs , I like bald, I like the creativity of it. And being bald in Miami is not much different from having hair. Either way you sweat. ;-)

2) the joy of being honest. I tell people now ! Such a HUGE step for me. I've watched people claim me as being valueless. Not fun to hear yet I'm very proud of myself of just facing everyone who compliments my hair (wig) with the truth and enjoying the journey of the many reactions.

3.) step by step, my confidence grows. One-day I will maybe go forever bald. Some days I don't mind. I do my best to embrace the bright side. (Good health, humor, strength, creativity as many of you on here have helped me gain)

Although I didn't get the chance to personally reply to everyone, although we may not know each other physically but by spirit I love you all. You all have helped me sooooo much. You all have made a journey that I just wanted to give up on, not seem so bad, or in fact gave me a new perspective, new options, a new kind of courage. Now, bit by bit , I'm excited to see who actually sticks around rather than dreading watching people leave. Thank you all so much. We're in this journey together and I'm excited to see how we all handle and grow from this throughout life. <3

Lol I'm such an emotional person
Permalink Reply by Anna Hunt on January 2, 2015 at 4:30pm
Hi.
I lost the remainder of my hair during the holidays before going back to school, so it was a big change from before the summer when I could still hide my alopecia.
The most important thing for me was to remember that although people may look at you differently, they are simply curious about you but are probably too scared to ask you straight out.
I think if I had to suggest something, it would be to remember to hold your head up high, because it is nothing to be ashamed of and people will soon become used to seeing you without your wig and any initial looks will disappear.
All the best of luck!!
Anna
Permalink Reply by Jordan on May 23, 2015 at 1:41pm
Delete
Hi everyone ! This is my first time back since I've posted this. I must say the semester has been a a challenging one. I honestly did not go completely bald. This may sound like an excuse but I never had a good support system most of my family rejected me when it happened , so I still had a few bad voices lingering, and now that I'm in school alone I really didn't have a support system for when I heard more of those comments and received more weird stares. So before I did something like that I Wanted to make sure I had a strong suport system. However, I did do something different, which was I made sure to tell everyone! I like wigs because I've always liked hair. I went bald for a month and realized it was bold, sassy and beautiful but I was also cold, then sweaty, then left with everything that came with it alone since I am not with any friends or family.

There has been a few things I've learned...

1).I like wigs , I like bald, I like the creativity of it. And being bald in Miami is not much different from having hair. Either way you sweat. ;-)

2) the joy of being honest. I tell people now ! Such a HUGE step for me. I've watched people claim me as being valueless. Not fun to hear yet I'm very proud of myself of just facing everyone who compliments my hair (wig) with the truth and enjoying the journey of the many reactions.

3.) step by step, my confidence grows. One-day I will maybe go forever bald. Some days I don't mind. I do my best to embrace the bright side. (Good health, humor, strength, creativity as many of you on here have helped me gain)

Although I didn't get the chance to personally reply to everyone, although we may not know each other physically but by spirit I love you all. You all have helped me sooooo much. You all have made a journey that I just wanted to give up on, not seem so bad, or in fact gave me a new perspective, new options, a new kind of courage. Now, bit by bit , I'm excited to see who actually sticks around rather than dreading watching people leave. Thank you all so much. We're in this journey together and I'm excited to see how we all handle and grow from this throughout life. <3
Permalink Reply by PamFitros@boldlybaldwomen.com on January 6, 2015 at 5:03pm

Jordan,

I know college is a place not only of higher learning, but for meeting people and developing friendships that may lead into friends-for-life, or even spouses.

For that very reason, you should be meeting them as the real you. People get a sense that you're hiding something if you are uncomfortable in your own skin. You want the people you meet to know YOU, not somebody you pretend to be beneath an obsessively worn wig.

Don't get me wrong. Although my personal preference and the approach I advocate for is to toss the hot itchy wigs, wear a smile and a pair of kicky earrings instead and strut my stuff, I don't have a problem with wigs themselves. It's the belief that bald or balding women are only beautiful - only acceptable when they wear wigs that drives me bonkers.

Arm yourself with information.

Answer questions when people ask. But if you've used up all your 'nice' for that day and have no more patience for questions, offer to talk with them another time when you're not in such a hurry (to get away from questions *lol*).

There are some real zinger responses some of the women shared in Boldly Bald Women, as well as sections of advice for others on things to say and things to avoid saying. These women have heard it all and learned how to walk through potential mine fields and how to gently enable others to be more aware and sensitive.

As for you? Walk down those halls with your head held high, a smile on your face, warmth and approachability in your eyes and empathy for the initial reaction of others. Remember your reaction when you first saw that strange woman in your mirror?

When I was in college and much younger, thinner, and less creaky and less confident, a young man told me:

"Pam, the first time someone looks at you they automatically put you somewhere on that 1 to 10 scale. But they'll never see you the same way again. Once you open your mouth you can go from a perfect 10 to a -3 (definite bitch range) or you can go from a 2 to a 12. Personality trumps looks to anyone you'd ever want to get to know. If they judge you by their first reaction after you've had a conversation, walk away and don't look back, because they are nobody you want to spend time or energy on."

It was good advice and has remained a trustworthy people barometer right up to today.

Look up the poem Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou and put your picture next to it. (and you can substitute the curve of my head for the line about hair!!!)

You're on an adventurous path. Enjoy every step.

Permalink Reply by Jordan on May 23, 2015 at 1:41pm
Delete
Hi everyone ! This is my first time back since I've posted this. I must say the semester has been a a challenging one. I honestly did not go completely bald. This may sound like an excuse but I never had a good support system most of my family rejected me when it happened , so I still had a few bad voices lingering, and now that I'm in school alone I really didn't have a support system for when I heard more of those comments and received more weird stares. So before I did something like that I Wanted to make sure I had a strong suport system. However, I did do something different, which was I made sure to tell everyone! I like wigs because I've always liked hair. I went bald for a month and realized it was bold, sassy and beautiful but I was also cold, then sweaty, then left with everything that came with it alone since I am not with any friends or family.

There has been a few things I've learned...

1).I like wigs , I like bald, I like the creativity of it. And being bald in Miami is not much different from having hair. Either way you sweat. ;-)

2) the joy of being honest. I tell people now ! Such a HUGE step for me. I've watched people claim me as being valueless. Not fun to hear yet I'm very proud of myself of just facing everyone who compliments my hair (wig) with the truth and enjoying the journey of the many reactions.

3.) step by step, my confidence grows. One-day I will maybe go forever bald. Some days I don't mind. I do my best to embrace the bright side. (Good health, humor, strength, creativity as many of you on here have helped me gain)

Although I didn't get the chance to personally reply to everyone, although we may not know each other physically but by spirit I love you all. You all have helped me sooooo much. You all have made a journey that I just wanted to give up on, not seem so bad, or in fact gave me a new perspective, new options, a new kind of courage. Now, bit by bit , I'm excited to see who actually sticks around rather than dreading watching people leave. Thank you all so much. We're in this journey together and I'm excited to see how we all handle and grow from this throughout life. <3
Permalink Reply by Jordan on May 23, 2015 at 1:40pm
Delete
Hi everyone ! This is my first time back since I've posted this. I must say the semester has been a a challenging one. I honestly did not go completely bald. This may sound like an excuse but I never had a good support system most of my family rejected me when it happened , so I still had a few bad voices lingering, and now that I'm in school alone I really didn't have a support system for when I heard more of those comments and received more weird stares. So before I did something like that I Wanted to make sure I had a strong suport system. However, I did do something different, which was I made sure to tell everyone! I like wigs because I've always liked hair. I went bald for a month and realized it was bold, sassy and beautiful but I was also cold, then sweaty, then left with everything that came with it alone since I am not with any friends or family.

There has been a few things I've learned...

1).I like wigs , I like bald, I like the creativity of it. And being bald in Miami is not much different from having hair. Either way you sweat. ;-)

2) the joy of being honest. I tell people now ! Such a HUGE step for me. I've watched people claim me as being valueless. Not fun to hear yet I'm very proud of myself of just facing everyone who compliments my hair (wig) with the truth and enjoying the journey of the many reactions.

3.) step by step, my confidence grows. One-day I will maybe go forever bald. Some days I don't mind. I do my best to embrace the bright side. (Good health, humor, strength, creativity as many of you on here have helped me gain)

Although I didn't get the chance to personally reply to everyone, although we may not know each other physically but by spirit I love you all. You all have helped me sooooo much. You all have made a journey that I just wanted to give up on, not seem so bad, or in fact gave me a new perspective, new options, a new kind of courage. Now, bit by bit , I'm excited to see who actually sticks around rather than dreading watching people leave. Thank you all so much. We're in this journey together and I'm excited to see how we all handle and grow from this throughout life. <3
Permalink Reply by JessicaStinkle on February 3, 2015 at 9:23pm
I'm really interested in hearing your experiences this semester at school. This too has been my first semester in college being bald. My hair first started falling out during the first week of last semester. It was completely gone by the end of September and from then I wore my hat and wig. Thought I was going to have to rip the band aid of at some point. Personally I think I get more of the weird "creepy" stairs at work versus school but that's probably because of the difference in demographics.

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