I've had alopecia forever. My whole life I've heard stories about outgoing, extroverted people who are happy and open about their hairloss. Some even try to educate strangers who confront them about their baldness. I think that's great... but it's just not me. Am I the only one? I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could walk confidently in public being bald, but then again, I don't consider bald as my "natural" state. I even have trouble talking to my dermatologist about my condition. Does anyone know what I mean?

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yes I know what you mean had the same problem for the frist couple of years I always wore a hat didn't want my kids to see me my wife alredy left me cause of my hair lost ( could not deal with her friends making fun) that was 01 it took about 3 years to not care what people thought alot of them did nt even realis i did not have eyebrows so it was me thinking they were looking when they kind of wherent so i just started living my life you know going to work raising my kids but I guess I dont go out of my way to tell people but if they ask I explain still it gets to me some times not like them frist couple of years
I feel the same. I tell people about it sometimes, but I only show a few.
omg I love redheads
Oooh, yes, I know exactly what you mean! While I fully respect and pretty much envy people who can just sport the bald look, like you stated, it's just not me. I wear wigs, and I am open with people who start asking a lot of questions about my "hair" because I know I'm busted.
I have had alopecia for 20 years and I still am not comfortable with it. I have almost broken my neck running for my wig, because someone is at the door, or is on their way over. I refuse to be seen by anyone except close family without a wig. For those who are open that's great, but I don't see myself being that way anytime soon.
I am not there yet either but sometimes I just imagine- like going to work, church, shopping or just being around family. I dont even let my husband see what is left of my hair now. I think work would be the most difficult. I see so many patients a day and dont feel like the questions or educating every one who would ask. I think red hair is so pretty too! Used to want to dye mine but it wouldnt work with the complection ;)
Casey,

I don't hide the fact that I am AU. I choose not to wear a wig but a pretty head covering. It is very obvious to people that I don't have hair. I don't educate people about my alopecia unless they ask and I am very shy about doing that!

Libby
I hear ya! I wish I were more confident with it too! Its slowly getting easier. For example, I work in education. The room I am working in this year is a 4th grade room and kids at that age can be curoius but kind-of mean in how they approach it at the same time. So, one day earlier this year, I came in with a new wig I just got and it was a little different than my last one. It became apparent after a while that they noticed and were thinking I had cancer or something. So, I talked to the teacher I work with and then decided it would be a good idea to just briefly explain during our sharing time we have each day, just saying that there is nothing they need to worry about but my body just has been acting a little funny lately and all my hair's fallen out so that's why I wear a wig. So, since I work with kids, who notice everything, I've decided I need to challenge myself to get more comfortable with it.
You know...
That's how I felt in high school, when I first got alopecia in grade 10ish. It went away after about a year, but during the whole time, I was so scared that someone would see the spots on my head! I would always style my hair a particular way so it would fall just so. One day when I worked at a summer camp, one of the campers asked me why I had my hair a particular way. When I wouldn't answer her question, she tried to move my hair, thus showing my spots, and I snapped on her. I was so ashamed and scared! She had exposed my "secret"!

But... I went to university, and I gained independence. And now, I just don't care what anyone else thinks. I put my hair up if I want to, and if anyone asks me, I explain to them what I have. I joke and tell them that, oooh, I'm sooo oooold now, I'm balding! xD It's hard to walk out the door with my spots showing, but I have nothing to hide. This is who I am, and if others can't accept that, then why would I want to know them?
Yes, and it is so easy to say be confident and strong but it is easier said then done, but I was on the train one day and there was a bald women, and although I noticed she was bald, I paid more attention to her face her makeup and earrings, and it sounds silly but it was sort of glamerous, like a really bold statement- like the time Natalie Portman shaved her hair, some suit bald better than others, but having the courage to do not wear a wig and address her appearance (make up and jewelry) normally and look confident was really beautiful and inspiring

A similar thing happened recently the man who came to instal my foxtel had AU and because I have had hair probs I can notice a wig, or a thin patch from a mileway and it wasn't until half and hour in I realised he had AU because he oozed confidence and was so happy and bubbly I didn't even noticed . None of my family even noticed and when asked them later xox Nikita
P.S if you don't feel comfortable going out bald then don't wear a wig do what ever makes you comfortable
Three cheers for self-acceptance!! You know I have been AA and now AU since the 6th grd, I am now 37. As a teenager I would just flat out lie if someone approached me( while being teased and stared at) about my lack of hair or fake hair. It has taken me 20 yrs to just tell people if they ask or even when they don't. AA is part of who I am, it isn't ALL there is. I still don't go around at home or in public without my hair and my late husband was the only one to see me au naturale since I was a child. I wear a turban to sleep in (my head is very sensitive to cold) and I have my "leave home hair" my newest wig and my "at home hair" the last years' wig that has seen a few better days. In any case, I feel better with my hair on, but I am not afraid to discuss it and let others see the real me (at least in word). I have spent most of my life hiding from it (as if) and I just recently (after the death of my husband) realized that life is too short to be so concerned with other people's opinion of my appearance, I can't change it underneath anyhow and I am responsible for how others view me. I can choose to be positive and change people's perception of anyone with a disability (it is an emotional disability) that causes one to feel "different". God bless all of you and prayers go out to you that acceptance truly be the ticket to playing this game to the winner's circle!! Lori
Hi Lori,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. This must be tougher for you than your alopecia.
Thanks for sharing in this discussion.

Hugz,
Jeffrey

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