Being young

Im 15 and i was diagnosed with alopecia areata right before i turned 15. Its hard dealing with it now because it reached the part where i have alopecia universalis. I have no eyebrows or hair on my head, my bottom eyelashes fell out and half of the ones on the top. Im white and black, and it sucks. I also just got put in foster care and my grades are going downhill. I know i will have this diagnosis my whole life but at the same time i wanna over come my low self esteem about it. I have a boyfriend, and he gets upset when i wont talk to him about it but its hard to let someone in that understands you and accepts you, if i myself dont accept that i have it. Its really really hard living with something unexpected and different, but i know eventually i will find myslef getting over it and actually opening up to people about it. If people ask about it i do tell them what it is, but alot of them want me to remove my wig and its very embarrasing. I already had a rude kid pull it off and it took me a couple days to recooperate and be brave. But i came back to school to face the fear that i had and it was that everyone would pick on me and honestly nobody did unless it was kids that dont understand what im going through and they just think all my hair fell out. Someone help me understand this, how to make myself feel more comfortable with it??? please!

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Permalink Reply by Georgia Gardner on February 4, 2011 at 6:19pm
High school extremely sucks for everyone, and going through alopecia at the same time makes it so much harder. I got AU when I was 4 and am now 17 with AA. Its very difficult, especially because even the people closest to you, best friends or boyfriends, they can't understand and it isnt easy to explain what we go through. Maybe explaining to your boyfriend that its hard for you to talk about what you're going through, because you dont even know yet will help him understand a little of where your head's at. Its great that you have someone there for support, even if they dont really get it.
The thing I find helps me get through high school with this - if 1.7% of all people will experience alopecia at some point in their life, thats 3 people in my year (or grade, if you're american). About 20 people, just in my school will have this, or have had this. about 510 people in just my town - and it's not a big town. A lot of people dont notice the hairloss, and most people have it grow back within a year. But I like knowing we arn't as alone as it feels sometimes. Maybe that could help you?
With everything you are going through, as well as the alopecia, you are so brave :) From the sounds of it, you're coping really well for such extremely difficult circumstances.
As to the kid that pulled your wig off; what a rude, horrible thing to do! people like that make me so mad. I hope you are alright, that would be so devestating.
Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on February 4, 2011 at 8:58pm
Find that one special person who tells you that love still exists, and talk this out. The words of a good listener mean far more than anything done by the mean ones.
Permalink Reply by cindy Babs on February 4, 2011 at 11:41pm
hi arieana, as hard as it may be to not feel hopeless try your hardest. it will get better with or without hair. people with au live full and happy lives. do not give up hope. the beginning is very challenging but it does get better to the point of a new sense of normalcy. you deserve the chance. give it to yourself. take your time and figure out what works best for you in terms of having you head covered or not. with time you will realize it is a struggle that you can overcome. we are all here to support you. don't give up on yourself. you are too important.
Permalink Reply by Karen Smith on February 5, 2011 at 4:49pm
You sound like a very strong young person. The fact that you are on this site and seeking help is awesome! It is tough but it does get better with time. If you are worried about your wig being pulled off get some super tape and stick it on in a couple of places with this. It will not come off with a small pull. Your school will not tolerate bullying, please let someone you trust like a school counselor know. My daughter was in highschool when AU hit her. She had some pretty amazing friends that really helped. One of the biggest football players at the school sat on the floor next to her and teared up when he found out about it. He told her if anyone made fun of her he would hurt them bad, he liked to fight anyway but she felt protected by him. She also had a big boyfriend so she did not have to endure anyone making fun of her. I am glad that you went back to school . Please don't let alopecia or foster care mess up your grades. That is the one thing that only you have control over. Good grades will open doors for you. We are here if we can help.
Permalink Reply by Chefpam on February 5, 2011 at 11:59pm
I don't think you are just seeking help-I think you are giving it. How brave you are to be going through so much and still determined to pick yourself back up. I can tell you are a fighter! I am old as dirt as my little girl says-the big 40 LOL and I still have trouble dealing with this hair falling out thing. It's not an easy battle to fight with health issues along side of it. Just as for you dealing with the foster care and your grades. But I have learned that my diseases are doing something amazing-they are making me stronger. Yeah, I cry every day but I pick myself back up and I fight like there's no tomorrow. I have learned that with great tests comes great testimonies and I can tell you are a building a huge one. Right now there are people all around you saying, "wow, I wish I had her strength and perserverance and you don't even know it!" I wish I could tell you how to feel comfortable but I am not there either but I hear it comes in time. You hang in there sweetie. I can tell big things are on the horizon for you!
Permalink Reply by Arieana Dawson on February 6, 2011 at 7:54pm
Thankyou Everybody, you guys really helped alot and really made me feel welcomed. i never knew there was a website for something like this, but now that i've found it i know where to go when i need some comforting and support. for people who still go through hair loss and are not used to it i hope it gets easier for you to accept. Everything you guys said really touched my heart:)

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