College w/ Alopecia advice

I'm 18 and I will be going to college in a couple of months. I was diagnosed with alopecia last year and now I am bald and have no hair. I have a wig and I wear it everyday to school. I only told two people about it and they are my closest friends. Though it is working now, what do I do in college? Do I tell everyone that I have alopecia and that I have no hair? I am scared that people will make fun of me and bully me. But my sister told me that if I tell everyone, I can wear different wigs everyday and I can be so open about it that everyone will be accepting. For those of you in college, do you have any advice? Should I keep it a secret or tell everyone? 

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Permalink Reply by JessicaStinkle on January 23, 2018 at 9:33pm

Honestly I find that college is one of the "safe" places. Not to pass judgment or stereotypes but in my experience, when I'm around more educated people I get less stares and questions. Working in an industry that has many uneducated or unskilled individuals, I was constantly asked about my hair loss. Now I'm working around skilled and educated professionals, I'm treated as if I was normal. I've gotten a few questions while at my university but they're usually innocently and kindly asked. I think college is a time to start new so if you're ready to discuss your hair loss with your peers then it's the perfect time. If you're living on campus then it's probably going to have to come up amongst your roommates..... I choose to not wear wigs but in the winter it's so easy to hide behind a hat. When I go into a new place I usually walk in without one because I find it much harder to take it off in a room full of people then to just walk in already bald. If you were me I would tell myself to make my decision and head into college doing just that because for me it's easy to get comfortable not telling people, or not taking my hat off.

Permalink Reply by DolphinSmooth on January 31, 2018 at 1:10am

I’m a junior and have been through this since middle school when I lost my eyebrows. It was recently where I lost all of my hair. It was tough, but it was January 8th, I made a facebook/instagram post with my bald head and it felt great. The support I got from people I haven’t spoken to in years was well worth it. It took a lot of the stress away. 

Permalink Reply by nerdyTrees on February 4, 2018 at 2:37am

It depends on how comfortable you are with talking to people about it. Like JessicaStinkle said, it will probably come up if you are sharing a room with someone, but whether you feel the need to tell other people is up to you. One of the great things about college is your social circle can change every semester. Especially since you will be a freshmen and be taking a lot of classes that aren't major specific, you probably won't run into the people you meet in your classes that first semester a lot in your classes the next semester. So if you decide when you first go out that you aren't comfortable with people knowing about your alopecia, that doesn't mean you can't change your mind the next semester. I think you should do whatever would make you feel the most confident. If keeping it a secret would make you feel self conscious all the time, you might want to try talking about it to the people you meet. If talking about it makes you feel self conscious, then don't bring it up.

I don't know what college you will be going to, but everyone at my school is really nice and I doubt anyone would bully me or make fun of me for having alopecia if I told them. Honestly, it says a lot more about them then it does about you if they make fun of you for having a medical condition.

There is a youtuber named Abby Andrews who talked about her starting college with alopecia, so if you want to hear from someone else, here is the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enptCg0Q2gY

Have fun at college!!

Permalink Reply by pepperdust on February 17, 2018 at 11:04pm

in my opinion, 

you gotta get over the embarrassment of it, then move on. secondly no one cares as much as you think they do.. you will find the people who are ok will be totally accepting, then those that would have a problem with it for whatever reason just ignore them..

if you do this then your free to wear the wigs without feeling pressure.. it would kinda be like a thing if you show up with different ones.

I would just go the route of wearing a cap, then casually taking it off every so often till word spreads, then as you make some friends go the wig.. its really worse if you get caught with the wig without telling anyone.. see imagine if everyone knew you were bald and wanted to were a wig for comfort or fun.. thats cool.. whats not cool is being found out as people perceive that as bad, for whatever reason.

I'm coming from my experience of it, that Have spots and have 90% of my hair, but if I didn't I would bite the bullet then move on. It's almost like the fear of it is worse then getting past it. as I said we are our own worst critics.. I bet you no one could care one bit, and would actually be interested in it. college is a lot different then high school, people don't care as much as it's a wider social circle and people are busy with jobs and homework and the life changes of "being on your own" ..

don't be scared.. college is not high school, as you have many different ages of people and as I said people are busy and stressed dealing with the "real world" of jobs and making your way and what are we doing on planet earth..

I'll leave you with a Dr. Suess quote, " the people that matter don't care, and the people who care don't matter"

Permalink Reply by stephbee937 on February 28, 2018 at 4:24am

Luckily, college isn't high school. People are much more accepting (with the exception of a few). I would recommend being open about it. Not telling people makes people act awkward if they find out and you haven't said anything about it from my personal experience. 

Permalink Reply by 5DH on August 4, 2018 at 10:55am

I developed AA in college, although I probably only had 20-30% hair loss and was able to cover it. Regardless it made me incredibly self conscious.

The great news is that college isn't high school! I couldn't believe the types of people that I was exposed to in college that I had never met in HS.

My advice would be this: either own it and lose the wig or tell people on a "need to know" basis. I was fortunate in that my college had bathrooms in each dorm, but if you have to share a dorm bathroom showering might be tough. In my case I just told people who "needed" to know because I couldn't hide it: my roommate, my closest friends, and girlfriends.

The other awesome part about your transition from HS to college is that you're hitting a complete "RESET" on your interpersonal life. All new people. Instead of people who knew you since you were 5 and are shocked by your baldness, if you show up to college without a wig on Day 1, these people will never know any differently. I have to say the concept of becoming the "real you" and just owning it from orientation is pretty cool, then you don't have to worry about it ever again. There will always be looks, but honestly if you're oozing confidence people won't think a thing of it! 

Our issue is very visible, but everyone has a problem that they're sensitive about. That's what helped me cope initially. Yeah I've lost hair, but you're depressed, you have a kidney stone, etc. Kind of a weird way to look at the world but helped me feel normal.

Permalink Reply by deepakori on January 9, 2019 at 8:18pm

Hey, I'm 17 and I'm going to college in a few months too. I've told almost everyone I know about my alopecia and I've been wearing a wig and drawing on my eyelashes and eyebrows for about 4 years now. I'm comfortable with people knowing about it but I've only ever shown my best friend what I look like without a wig. Generally, the people I tell don't really seem to care and sometimes even forget, so I don't think you should be worried about what people think, especially in college where people are way nicer than they are in high school. I think what I'm gonna do is wear a wig during the day, but take it off to shower in the communal bathrooms and sleep in my dorm. I think it's gonna be a hard transition for both of us, but I also think it'll be liberating to finally be open about it and really be yourself. If people react weirdly to your hair loss, then you don't want them in your life anyway. :) Good luck!

Permalink Reply by deepakori on January 9, 2019 at 8:19pm

Hey, I'm 17 and I'm going to college in a few months too. I've told almost everyone I know about my alopecia and I've been wearing a wig and drawing on my eyelashes and eyebrows for about 4 years now. I'm comfortable with people knowing about it but I've only ever shown my best friend what I look like without a wig. Generally, the people I tell don't really seem to care and sometimes even forget, so I don't think you should be worried about what people think, especially in college where people are way nicer than they are in high school. I think what I'm gonna do is wear a wig during the day, but take it off to shower in the communal bathrooms and sleep in my dorm. I think it's gonna be a hard transition for both of us, but I also think it'll be liberating to finally be open about it and really be yourself. If people react weirdly to your hair loss, then you don't want them in your life anyway. :) Good luck!

Permalink Reply by Silver John on January 12, 2019 at 12:38pm

When you study in college, everyone knows about you anyway. It makes no sense to hide alopecia. Turn it into your advantage, wear beautiful wigs. If you become very nervous, take CBD oil - https://www.shoppingcbd.com/fab-cbd/. It helps me a lot from stress.

Permalink Reply by ASRN on January 14, 2019 at 12:50am

Hi! I would suggest being open with people whenever you are ready. For me, I was so self conscious in a wig because I was sure everyone was "going to know" and wonder what was wrong. I ultimately decided to just go without and found myself with more confidence.  People were super supportive and kind. Yes, I had to explain to kind strangers that it wasn't cancer, but that was ok. My hair has started growing again but it so thin and I still have patches of AA that I would honestly rather be bald again. Not sure if you are about this but I got a surprising amount of positive Male attention. I was often told I was "sexy" . You might be surprised. Good luck. Being confident is the best advice I have.  

Permalink Reply by Charlotte on February 18, 2019 at 3:43pm

I got diagnosed with my alopecia 4 months ago whilst living at University with 9 other girls. I know that I haven't lost the same amount of hair as you yet but in my experience everyone is extremely understanding and supportive, I feel much better being able to talk to them about it when I am having a bad day. My advice would be to wait perhaps a week or so, until you have a feel of what people are like and then if you have no bad feelings about anyone go ahead and tell them, it may be scary but worth it as you won't be worried about them accidentally finding out. Obviously only if you feel comfortable though, don't rush.

Permalink Reply by walexia98 on May 29, 2019 at 8:36am

Ok here goes, (this may be a little long), I feel like i am having like real low self esteem problems and my confidence is low as hell i used to get joked on about being dark skinned and i was recently diagnosed with alopecia, i'm a little chunky, blah...and on top of that I have been attracted to guys for the longest but i am starting to doubt my own sexuality. Because i feel like nobody wants me and if somebody did i probably wouldn't know how to act because i feel like I have to put on (be like someone else to be liked) and after while that is exhausting. When i was in high school I was REALLY attracted to guys but i had friends that told me if i was gay they would like hurt me or not be friends with me (because i never went out with anybody) so i had to"put on" to be liked. Plus, both my mom and step-dad are ministers. (Raised in a big Christian household) I have since graduated from high school and i rarely talk to anyone from school. I have yet to go to college. I don't even have my license. I feel like this low self esteem, i'm gay and don't know how to come out, is like, excuse my french, ******* up my future it's like a roadblock for some reason All i do is work and stay home. I just feel kind of like a failure but not to the point where i wanna hurt myself. I really need some advice on how to overcome this! and thanks for reading!! I use this servise. It realy healps with college

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