Dating

I'm a 41 year old father of 2 . I live in rhode island. I have had alopecia for 9 years now. It is what caused my divorce as I shut down from the world. Was wondering how do all of you date with alopecia , as I am having a hard time to get myself out there again not easy that's for sure.

Views: 671

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Alo-mom on September 18, 2016 at 11:32pm

This is my suggestion, if Alopecia was the cause of your divorce then before  you start dating you need to work on those issues so that you can approach this new chapter of your life without those things that we destructive. You will just end up in the same place again. If your can find time to go to therapy and work through some of these issues it will be very beneficial. These new coping skills may be helpful with your existing  relationships and  with your children too. It is so important for your kids to see you as strong and able to handle your condition. 

Let me just say this, if Alopecia controls your life, then it will control those lives you love around you and that is not fair. Get help and talk to those that are supportive and really try to make changes to those issues that are damaging.  Best of luck to you and your family. Michael J Fox said, " happiness comes in proportion to acceptance". 

Permalink Reply by JessicaStinkle on September 21, 2016 at 1:06pm
I second this! Why would someone else love you if you can't even love yourself?
Permalink Reply by Jay74 on September 22, 2016 at 9:41pm
Exactly
Permalink Reply by Jay74 on September 22, 2016 at 9:41pm
Exactly
Permalink Reply by SabineTawni on September 23, 2016 at 10:30am

First of all, I am so sorry that you have to deal with this rotten condition.  While people usually feel more understanding towards females with alopecia, in some ways, it is harder for men.  Women have many very  natural-looking wigs from which to choose.  They also have loads of makeup they can apply for missing brows and lashes.  Apart from that, people are usually more emotionally supportive and sympathetic towards females with hair loss than they are towards males.  It has been my experience as well that females are more likely to reject bald males than males are to reject bald females.  All of these statements are just my opinion, but I am telling you this to let you know that your feelings are perfectly justified.  First of all, I would let my prospective dates know as soon as possible.  You could just tell them that if they cannot accept your condition, you would like to know now.  You can tell them you need to know upfront because life is short, and you do not want to waste your time or theirs.  Personally, I have let people know that I have no intentions of "coddling" anyone about my AU.  If anyone deserves to be "coddled", it's the person with the alopecia, not the other person. Since I am not asking for that, I don't see why they should should expect it.  Having said all that, I think you should try to put yourself out there.  I honestly believe that you might be pleasantly surprised.  Look at all the men who purposely have their heads, and still don't see to have trouble attracting women.  I know this is a rough journey, and I am sending  you hugs and best wishes for a happy outcome.  

Permalink Reply by SabineTawni on September 23, 2016 at 10:47am

meant to say "shave" their heads--not "have" their heads!

Permalink Reply by Jay74 on September 23, 2016 at 10:53am
Ty Th for your comments . I do let my date no upfront that way they can decide what they want. For me I don't mind my head bald head as I have an athletic body in good shape it goes good together lol . It's my eyebrows that hurt the most.
Permalink Reply by SabineTawni on September 23, 2016 at 11:15am

You're right.  Men who bald and in good shape are very attractive to a lot of women.  But, I agree that the eyebrows are tough.  I use an eyebrow pencil and no one knows--not so easy for a man.  But I have to admit that when it's hot, and sweat is pouring down my forehead, there is no protection for my eyes, and it's very uncomfortable.

Permalink Reply by Cheryl, Co-founder on September 25, 2016 at 11:33pm

There is a great blog on Alopecia World that you may want to check out.

The 'Third Date Rule' 

http://www.alopeciaworld.com/forum/topics/the-third-date-rule-by-de...

RSS

Disclaimer

Any mention of products and services on Alopecia World is for informational purposes only; it does not imply a recommendation or endorsement by Alopecia World. Nor should any statement or representation on this site be construed as professional, medical or expert advice, or as pre-screened or endorsed by Alopecia World. Alopecia World is not responsible or liable for any of the views, opinions or conduct, online or offline, of any user or member of Alopecia World.

© 2025   Created by Alopecia World.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service