Alopecia World
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Depressed and upset
I need some help on how to cope with all of this I have FPB and went away for christmas at my sisters in Christchurch as she was hosting the family christmas (she has a new bubba)I found it so difficult while I was there to do anything with my hair it is getting so thin and my routine was screwed up since I was away from home. It was so hard when I went to the malls I felt people were staring and thinking I was a freak.
I feel so ugly. I had ordered a wig of Vogue wigs and when I told my mum I was going to wear one she said I would look silly. It makes me so upset. I just arrived home to find it has arrived but am frightened to wear it. I don't want to look stupid.
To top it off I suffer from dermatillomania (compulsive skin picking which I do on my face it seems when I am upset of angry of frustrated and at the moment my face is looking horrible I find it hard to cover with make up and I just feel like such a freak and so ugly.
I am trying to stop but it is just so hard with the hairloss as well I can't cope with both I feel frightened to go out I don't know what to do! While writing this I am crying because I don't want to feel this way. I am usually such a happy bubbly person I have even had to resign from my job as I am to ashamed to go. Why can't I just cope and why do I care so much about what I look like. I would just like to feel normal. Can anyone help me? :(
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jennah on
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Thank you so much Sarah for your beautiful and motivating comments. It actually almost made me cry. Thank you for taking the time to write to me when you are also going through issues. I can relate so much to each and every one of your points. It is really helpful (i know this sounds horrible, but not meant to be horrible at all) to know there are people such as yourself who totally understand my issues. I can't believe there are so many people who suffer horribly from this affliction and also even more surprisingly to me you have suffered the swame skin condition as me! life has been pretty tough on us huh?! but I would really like to continue talking with you and if I can be any help to you I would love that!
I think you are right about exercise I think it really helps me personally also. In fact I am about to go for a long walk soon. I find popping my ipod on while I do so is awesome. Music especially has really helped me to. It really helps to get emotions out :)
Talk soon thank you again Sarah xox
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Hey Lily,
I was actually prescribed spironolactone to help with my hair loss. Do you have any positive results on your hair beomg pm spiro?
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Permalink Reply by You can do it : ) on
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Wow, you all are really inspiring. I am 21 and have had alopecia areta since I was 8, it is really hard to cope and deal and grow with. I am also in therapy ( I have minor anxiety ) which helps a little. Try to use your challenge to help other people grow, I gave a speech about alopecia and the challenges I get from it... and I inspired people and it helped me feel really good. I also realized when going through a hard time with anything try to write down 1 things you are thankful for every night before you go to sleep, it can be the littlest thing like a clock.
Good luck
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Thankk you I appreciate your comment You can do it :) Wow you are so brave getting up and making a speech about your alopecia very inspirational indeed :) xo
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Hello there Jennah! You're very welcome :-) I'm glad that you can feel a sense of community connecting with others here, as I do so much. You know, going through all the anxiety, doctor's appointments, social stress and distress, suicidal thoughts, etc... I know this condition really makes me question what is truly important. It's amazing that I've put so many aspects of my life, which I enjoyed, on hold to try to remedy this problem. Working at the int'l airport in Denver, CO, I see soooooo many people, and say to myself every day, "God bless all the women going through hair loss" because I see so many that have this problem who shouldn't; like you and I. I'm actually looking forward to shaving my hair off so that I won't use so much shampoo, etc. If it decides to grow back normally again and my scalp stops burning, that would be grand... but I'm realistic and think in futuristic terms, so know that it'll never be the same most likely, therefore, I would rather have none at all. It'll be less anxiety to walk out of the house with a head covering, a hat, a scarf, whatever... than it would be to worry about how thin my hair looks that day. That must have been awful trying to enjoy your holiday and also having to worry about your hair the whole time... want to know how I know that? I experienced it too. Everything that hurts us makes us stronger, have 'thick skin' so to speak. So I KNOW for a fact that life is now viewed differently as we go through this huge hurdle, but we must continue on with our lives, make the best of it, and most importantly, not to lose ourselves to this issue. It's not worth anything to worry... my mom certainly worries enough for the whole human race :-) sorry, rambling on again... regardless, good for you that you're getting outside and exercising! I'm so exhausted when I get home from tossing bags at work, i don't have the energy for it. Also... of course I'd love to stay in touch with you as well! Brighter days are ahead! Keep your head up, do not look down in despair; you're not less of a person because of a hair issue (I have to tell myself this too). If anyone confronts you about it or says something that makes you less than comfortable about it, ask them how they'd feel if they were a beautiful young lady losing her hair... it's not a small issue at all, but it's not one to be mean to someone about, ya know? People are judgmental, so we have to get used to this too I suppose... being judged by others whose oppinions don't matter, some that do, and some that you need to bring to their attention that you've been through hell dealing with this. Sorry, rambling again. Have a lovely evening, or day Jennah & others!! Warmly, Sarah K.
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Permalink Reply by Margaret H Baker on
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Dear Jennah,
I'm sorry for all the pain you are currently experiencing, and I hope that you can get a glimmer of hope from this site. Kudos to you for reaching out! That takes a lot of courage! Seeing yourself change can feel incredibly scary at any age...So it's very important for you to feel comfortable in expressing yourself how ever you choose to...There is nothing wrong with wigs, scarves or being bald...As long as you are giving yourself permission to experiment with what's most comfortable. If others criticize, you must take them to task as no one else has the right to judge you while you are going through this...I've had Alopecia for most of my life and am only now learning not to compare myself to others...We are all unique and no one else can ever know exactly what it's like to be in someone else's shoes. Keep smiling and know that you WILL get through this!!!!
Best,
Margaret (NYC)
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My daughter has alopecia areata. She is beautiful with or without hair and I'm sure you are also. We purchased a wig and at first she was reluctant to wear it and had difficulty dealing with all the issues that a teenager going through this will have but eventually she became comfortable with the wig and comfortable without the wig. You are the master of your fate and you should decide and others will have to accept. You are the same wonderful person before, after , with or without. It is what is inside you and in your heart that matters and from the sound of it, you are a super, lovely person. We are all rooting for you!
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There was a woman who was divorced with a son. Her ex husband had very little to do with the son so she was a true single mum. While others criticized her ex husband, she found comfort in staying positive so she would repeat the following which brought comfort to her heart "Thank you Lord for making my son's father be the best father he can be" I am guessing that your mum loves you very much but she may have her own issues to deal with so your focus must be on yourself; and we hope that you find comfort in knowing that your mum is trying to be the best mum she can be. I see you as a remarkably strong young woman and I envision that someday you are going to have a major influence in someone's life. Focus on trying to be positive and know that people who are experiencing adversity in their life's understand what you are going through and care about you. Today is indeed the first day of the rest of your beautiful life.
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Thanks Tony. I hope that I can take positives from this experience and be a better person to others and to myself :)
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Permalink Reply by NoLongerHair on
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Hi Jennah,
When I made the decision to get a prosthesis 8 yrs ago, my mom didn't support it because she was afraid it would damage my hair more. It was a scary decision for me to make and especially without her full support but I went ahead and did it. However I was also blessed enough to have a boss who had the same condidtion AGA and was wearing a prosthesis so she kind of turned into a mentor for me. In the end my mom went with me the day I got it, and she was so overjoyed for me when she saw the transformation, I'll never forget it. Over the years I see that she was right about the damage to my hair, but I also could not continue wearing my natural hair much longer without assistance and I don't regret my decision. And the end of the day, you are the one that best understands what you have to do to navigate a comfortable life for yourself with this condition. Mama will come around when she sees the boost to your self confidence. Just try to forgive her and love her. She is probably just afraid for you, but no doubt concerned and expressing it in a weird way. I wish you well.
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