Alopecia World
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Extremely self-conscious about my wig
Hi all, so glad to have found this forum. :)
This is my first post, so I want to give a little background info on myself. My name is Laura, I'm 23 years old and have been dealing with supposed androgenetic alopecia since I was 11 years old (when I hit puberty). My hair has continued to thin since then and for the past 4-5 months I've been wearing a wig. Buying a wig was a really, REALLY difficult decision for me. I was practically bald when I bought my wig - it had gotten to the point where the only way to conceal my scalp was with nearly half a bottle of Toppik. When I put my hair in a pony tail was/is probably half the size of my pinky finger. It was extremely embarrassing, but I found the concept of suddenly wearing a wig to be just as embarrassing.
I cried multiple times during wig consultations before I finally stopping moping around and bought my first. It's a nice Estetica human hair wig, but I've been having some major issues... most likely because I'm still sort of in denial and know nothing about wigs. I hate the fact that everyone I know clearly is aware that I wear a wig. I really want a new wig but am worried about the sudden change in wigs... I really don't want a single person to comment on it.
I am in a relationship and he was with me when I was practically bald, and he's with me now that I wear a wig. It makes me uncomfortable that he never comments on it so I don't really feel comfortable taking it off in front of him... not sure why. I'm still so new to this whole wig thing. I just wish I knew ONE other person that wore a wig...
ANYWAYS, I bought my wig at an awful, overpriced wig shop. The lady put 3 clips in, clipped them in to my nearly nonexistent hair, and sent me on my way. If I place my hand on my scalp it slips every which way. My hair seems too thin for the clips to really grab it. This is okay if I'm not moving... but seriously... I'm constantly worried about it falling off. That would be an absolute nightmare for me. I also hate the thought of never swimming again. I can't wear my hair up at the gym because when I put it up, it pulls and makes the wig slip back off my scalp. It's MISERABLE. Oh, and lets not even talk about how it holds up in the bedroom...
I just want to be normal. I just want to go to an amusement park and not worry about my wig flying off. I want to go swimming without looking bald or covered in some sort of hair net. I want to go to the gym and be able to put my hair up. I feel like I'm CONSTANTLY readjusting/pulling up my wig.
Can anyone offer me some advice on helping my wig stay put? I don't use wig caps because when I've used them in the past, they slip off just as easily if not moreso than just a wig. If my wig would stay put, I feel like my confidence would skyrocket.
Thanks so much for reading!! :)
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Bev on
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You may need a petite wig size. Check the sites that sale wigs and explain how to measure your head circumference. I sometimes get petite wigs and they fit my head and face better. Some brands also run larger than others. Gabor wigs tend to run large. I love wigs and have a lot of fun with them. I'm happy to be able purchase affordable, synthetic, wash and wear wigs. So much easier and faster than trying to fix my sad and limp, thin hair and I look so much better with them it's a boost to my self esteem. Life is what you make it. Every day is a new day to reinvent yourself and be the person you want to be. You don't need to get dramatic about the wigs. Just enjoy all the new options and have fun. I have found that people respond to me in accordance with how I project myself. I always project confidence and fun in my appearance. I hope that you too can feel the same. I have seen some pics of a beautiful model, who rocks a bald head. Unfortunately I haven't got the face or head for it but if you do, then by all means, go for it!
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I would recommend you buy a cheap short trendy wig for swimming ,thats what I did and it works a treat as long as you stay of the water flumes and do breast stroke , in other words don't submerge your head in the water but the odd splash won't do any harm. Can't advise you about the gym as i honestly don't think they work too well in gyms since they become clammy and soaked in persperation . Wig tape works well worn on rollercoasters it survived the Aero Smith at Disney.Each to thier own but my personal choice is the Cameron by Rennee of Paris in Suger cane it's inexpensive. looks good .comfortable to wear and easy replaced Iwould advise always keep a new wig as spare so if the unexpected comes up , you feel confident you look your best .
As a hairdresser I think when choosing a wig for the first time try and pick something as close to the texture of what your own hair was ie If your hair was fine and flyaway find a similiar style ,maybe even a similiar colour to begin with I suggest this because it takes time to adjust to wearing a wig without having to deal with all the comments regarding your new style..I found once I became confident wearing my wig thenI was more able to experiment with changing colour and style . In the last few years I've been every shade of red ( Bailey in Paprika a real favorite) and now going through the blond tones.
Please don't dispair, I thought I would never be able to accept losing my hair 10 years ago , but it does get easier . I't's a challenge at times ...............but I never have a bad hair day!!
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Permalink Reply by Akaslowpoke on
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I became alopecian last year. I wore several wigs before Follea www.peggyknight.com
I was so happy I became a rep! People cant believe it's a hair piece.
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Hi Laura. My name is Mark S Hansen. I am single, never married, and I live on the east side of MIlwaukee WI. My hair started falling out in the 4th grade and by age 14 or 15 I had none anywhere. I have had alopecia universalis, total body hair loss ever since. My parents bought me my first wig at 15 and I wore one (hid under one) for about 35 years until I finally took the last one off about 6 yrs ago. The problem was that instead of the wig giving me courage to approach more women or other people it inhibited me from doing so. That was because I was always worried about what the women would say if they agreed to go out with me and then I had to tell them about my condition, about wearing a wig, etc. So I did not take nearly enough chances over the course of my life at places Ive worked at college etc. But wig or no wig I could not hide the fact that I had no eye lashes or eye brows which did not hep me either.I am now over 50 and to this day I have never had a girlfriend or relationship in my whole life. I had my first date at age 19 and it was a disaster she had no interest in me. But I had no time to tell her that I look this way because I am wearing a wig. I lost my virginity at age 47 about 9 yrs ago to someone I met over te internet and that was all.Prior to that I did not have a date since 1989. Some times I think that if I could afford it I would by time during the superbowl or spmething and announce to the whorld that I have aleopecia, not cancer or anything else, that I wear a wig or wore a wig, and that I have so much to offer if someone gives me a chance.
But I can't and neither of us can stop every one on the street and say, hey I wear this or hey this is why you may be staring at me. It easy for me to say this in hindsite. But I think we just have to trust our gut and let people we think should know, know about our condition, a co-worker, a boy friend, girl friend etc. If they guawk or bauk they were not worth knowing in the first place.I have known people for years around here, in the 20 yrs I have lived in MIlwaukee, who only know me without my wig. I wear a baseball cap every where. And I have never taken the time to let most of them know why I look like I do or about the condition what I have. I would like to think that if I would have taken more chances I possibly would be much happier or wiser than I am today and would not be as alone as one can get. Take care sweetheart. I am also on twitter #markyisd1 and Facebook.
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Try with the lace ones. chinese vendors are cheaper and they know what they do. human hair lace wigs are very realistic. you should't been worried about that, you are beautiful ;) Let me know if you need more advice.
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Ana, could you give some examples of Chinese vendors please?? I don't even know where to start looking....thanks!!
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Permalink Reply by Cindie on
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So much good advice given by everyone here. I would shave my head, and wear wig caps. They work wonders in helping your wig stay in place. They really don't do well when you wear them over hair, which may be the reason they slip off -- especially on Caucasian hair.
I would buy a few "fancy" bathing caps for swimming purposes.
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Permalink Reply by Nicole on
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I completely understand what you are going through. That was me! I finally accepted that my hair loss is permanent and got a freedom wig. It was the best decision I have ever made. It works by vaccuming to your skin so you can't have any hair left
I can now go to the gym, run with my hair, ride a bike etc.. Everything I used to do. With no worries! You can try other ready made wigs but you will never be completely comfortable. Wen I was wearing regular wigs I found shorter ones were better for staying put but they cannot compare to the security I get with the freedom wig. It looks and feels completely natural!
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Permalink Reply by Laura on
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I read every reply and I just want to say thank you all SOO much for the support and wonderful advice. And for sharing your stories with me. I'm so glad I'm not alone in this... I've been to doctors all over the place and everyone looks at my head like I'm some sort of alien. I've had scalp biopsies, take Spironolactone (and have for 7-8 years), use Rogaine, take thyroid meds, and had every blood test under the sun. No one has any idea why my hair won't grow back, but the problem is that it's evenly thin all over, and I'm afraid if I shave it, it's going to require a lot of maintenance.
I also can't use tape/glue... My natural hairline is sort of low and there's literally no where I can use tape or glue feasibly. But thanks to multiple people on here that suggested the velvet wig grip thing (lol can't remember the brand or name), I just bought one on Amazon so I'm really hoping that will work better for me... never heard of these, thanks!!
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Permalink Reply by Lisa Foster on
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Hi laura
My name is Lisa I am a wig stylist you can have a hair line cut into the wig along the edges to soften the hair line and make the edge of the wig undetectable . Also yes you can use tape there are many different kinds . Please note if you are using tape and you do still have hair left where you are applying the tape make sure you shave that area where you are applying the tape so you do not create permanent hair loss from pulling over time . Never just pull the tape off remove gently every time.
If you wear a stocking or wig cap you can use slider combs to slide under the cap for security it will not pull like clips also VIp if a clip feels like it is pulling the reality it is and can also create permanent hair loss over a long period of time. To avoid this keep in mind you should not feel the clip when it is clipped into your existing hair even though you can not feel it will still keep your wig secure.
Also you may want to make sure you have the proper size if there is extra material inside the cap you should go back to where you purchased it have has them size it to a secure fit this will also help with security .
As for pony tail's if you take the hair in sections when making a pony tail it will have less chance of pulling off .
start at the top add small elastic then do the same in the mid section and last pull up the last section I the nape do this on your head so you can feel if it is pulling or not . Using tape will also make this process easier .
Hope this information was helpful
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The reason they can't find the cause is because it's hard to find. Research shows there's a glitch in the wireing our signal says attack instead of switching on.
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If your hair is fine and thin and you need to clip it try twisting the hair and holding it with a bobby pin. This will give the clip something to grip onto. I have the same issues about wigs moving on my head. Thankfully, they only move a little but I do understand cause it has often felt like it moved a lot. It's never been noticeable when I've gone in the bathroom to check it.Life is too short to let this get in the way of what you want to do or who you want to be. I would be the first person to laugh if my wig fell off, and it did when I was in a car accident. I think I was more concerned about my hair than the fact that my car was smashed and my airbags went off. I kicked the wig under the seat before I got out cause I really didn't want to be seen putting my wig back on before I got out to inspect the damage. Anyway, sometimes you just have to keep your sense of humor and realize that not everybody around you is fabulous and /or perfect in every way either. Everybody has issues.
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