Alopecia World
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Finding strength from the wonderful people here
I found strength through this forum and the wonderful people on it. I dance, I show dogs, and a lot of that is about appearance so I got a wig and was wearing it all the time. I ride a motorcycle, and can not wear the wig under my helmet, so was doing a sleight of hand to try to get my wig on before anyone noticed. I went out on my motorbike to a tourist town, where no one knew me. There I was about to try my 'trick' and I suddenly thought "what the L"!! and decided to go "topless"!! I walked around totally bald and no one gave me a second look. I wandered into stores and chatted with the check out girls and went to a coffee shop and sat at one of their tables on the street treating myself to a pastry. It was so totally freeing. Of course that one step did not lead me to instantly go wigless, but slowly I started not wearing it at home and then after that when I was where no one knew me.
I have friends who have cancer and have no hair as a side effect of the treatment. I have a wonderful friend dying of the worst kind of MS. She is to the point she can not even pee without help!! She is so STRONG and positive!! I came to the realization that there are FAR worse and deadly things to have than AU!! I started looking at the positives. No such thing as a bad hair day. No helmet hair. I can shower and go to bed without having to deal with wet hair. I never have a bad hair day. With summer coming on I am going 'topless' more and more. My husband loves my smoothness and no hair in my intimate area. VBG!!
I decided to 'come out' on Facebook. While I have not posted any photos, I told about the AU, what it is and why I am getting more ok with it (its not fatal and its not contagious!!!).
So I still wear a wig when showing dogs and dancing because I feel 'prettier' that way, but on a day to day basis I go topless. Now all the stress of AU has left me. I just love when the Drs say "its caused by stress, lessen the stress in your life" when the very AU was causing your stress!! Yeah - that is SO helpful!! That is gone now. Slowly I came to this place and it was caused by the wonderful people HERE. Their strength and their courage. I have had AA off and on since I was 27. Last July it suddenly stopped any regrowth and started on its path to AU. I have no hair anywhere, no eyebrows or eye lashes. I use make up to cover that fact when I am out dancing or dog showing, but not on a daily basis. I am 51
I have realized that if someone has a problem with how you or someone else looks, that is THEIR problem not yours. I have been approached now by people who have had cancer or who have relatives with cancer. I explain I don't have cancer, but have AU and that I am lucky - its not life threatening.
Truly if you understand that there are FAR worse things out there to have, it helps you deal with AU.
Love yourself first. Appreciate your life. Find the positives. Hang out with people who appreciate you for who you are. Wear a wig if you want to and don't if you don't want to and to "L" with what others think. Its about being comfortable in your own skin. I happily accept any friend requests so if you need someone to chat with, friend me
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Debbi Fuller on
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We live in NH! opposite coasts! Ride safe!
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Permalink Reply by Marieca on
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Yesss I love this!! I feel the same way! Eff what anyone else thinks you are awesome with or without hair! I have not been brave enough to go in public without my wig on though, but I always walk around my family without it on. Kudos to you for being an inspiration and just plain ole awesome!
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Permalink Reply by Fiona on
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You will get there. Out of the blue the urge will hit you and you will go out in public with no wig. Its not something to really plan, just one of those "to L with it" moments and then you will do it for the first time. Bit by bit, tiny step by tiny step, you do more and more with no wig. For me it was a BIG dog show in St Louis at Purina Farms. We were staying in a travel trailer and after showing indoors (thank goodness) the last thing I wanted to do was walk the dogs with my wig on in the heat and humidity. Only a few people were on site, everyone else was off in hotels, so I knew only a few would see me like that, so I did it. It was just too darned HOT and HUMID to wear a wig!! LOL Now I am way more comfortable that way. I did scare the L out of one friend. She had seen me in the ring with my wig on that morning and thought I had just shaved my head due to the heat!! LOL
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Permalink Reply by Donna on
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Hello, I love your remarks. And you are right, this site has changed and encouraged me further. You see how I walk around., and I've been this way for 7 years..never wore a wig. I went into a shop with hair and come out, literally, bald. So I didn't go thru the gradual pain of hair loss. I took the get-it-over-with leap. It worked for me. And to all those who are in the struggle of hair loss, time changes and heals everything!! Take care
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Permalink Reply by BlitaG on
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Thanks for sharing. Its soo encouraging. We need more inspiring people like you.
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Its because of such posts by other people that I got the strength to go topless as much as I am. It is still a work in progress though. I had an allergists appointment yesterday followed by my eye dr. I wore my wig!! LOL
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Permalink Reply by Charlene Jooste on
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Your words encouraged me. Thank you.
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Permalink Reply by Bety on
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Amazing!! Thank you for sharing! I'm still in the hat phase, but I hope to get there someday. You are amazing, greetings from Southern California :)
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I'm in No Cal. Wish we were closer and could meet. Keep on keeping on. You will get there. Its just a matter of little steps
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