Furious

I'm furious. In the school lunchroom yesterday, one of the ADULT aides came up behind my daughter, who is in the 6th grade and has AA, and removed her hat (a fedora type hat) with no warning. She apparently "jokingly" put it on her head, then behind her back, pretending she would keep it. All the while, Signe was just trying to cover up her bald spots (which are many, and impossible to cover up". The aide then looked at her, dropped the hat back on her head and said, "oh, I forgot.".

Signe has been wearing hats and bandanas at school for over a year. The teachers and staff have all been notified of her condition. This woman sees her at lunch EVERY day. I find it hard to believe that she forgot.

I have sent a message to the principal, requesting a meeting. However, I really just want that aide's head on a platter. Is that too much to ask?

What would you do? Am I over reacting?

Maria

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Tuesday on March 19, 2011 at 9:18pm
Oh, Maria. I'm so sorry this happened to your daughter. No, no and NO, you're not over-reacting. I"m highly suspicious of this aide's actions. I don't understand how she could forget. Now, keep in mind - I've had only one person over the years forget I'm wearing a wig and pull my wig. The woman thought my wig was so pretty, so real - she thought my hair had grown back and she was just brushing my "hair" out of my eyes. That is understandable.

But, to see a child with a hat (which would obviously stand out) and to remove their hat - as a joke? I can't see how that would be funny even if the child didn't have alopecia. I'm hopeful the principal deals with this situation in an appropriate fashion.
Permalink Reply by cindy Babs on March 20, 2011 at 12:24am
maria. that would have horrified by daughter and then me. no excuses. have you met with the principal yet? what the heck was she thinking. my daughter wore a hat to school for a year and not one person said one word about it to her.have any rotten eggs in your frig? probably no one even noticed but still...
Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on March 20, 2011 at 2:28am
This is unprofessional bullying and harrassment on the part of the aide. I would go even above the principal, to the school board, school attorney and school psychologist, and ask them when they will demand an apology from the aide and a staff seminar on alopecia and on sensitivity to medical needs of students. THAT should make THEM squirm.
Permalink Reply by Devin on March 21, 2011 at 10:30pm
Maria, I would not go to the principal. Like Tallgirl said I would go to the school board and tell them that if nothing is done they will be hearing from your lawyers, even if it is a bluff, because crap rolls down hill and when the principal hears about it from his boss he will take it more seriously. Good luck and I hope that person is fired there are a lot of people who are unemployed and could use a job right now!
Permalink Reply by Ashley on March 20, 2011 at 4:09am
Dear Maria,

you are surely not over-reacting! If I was you, I would not even sent a message. I would go and talk to the Aid in person. Signe is just an innocent child. As an adult she should have known better. She is aware of Signe's condition but still she wanted to make Signe uncomfortable! SHAME ON THE AID! To me that is just mental abuse.

The Aid should explain her actions to you and Signe too. She should aplogize. Thats just y opinion though. I can Imigane that Signe will vulnerable. I can understand if she does not want to sit in the lunchroom ever again. So Maria, talk to your daughter about this. Show how angry the situation makes you feel. That can help her. And the Aid.......ughhh, no words!
Permalink Reply by Georgia Gardner on March 20, 2011 at 4:10am
I can't believe someone would do that! You're definately not overreacting at all. There are so many other medical conditions, blindness, deafness, autism and physical disablities, in public schools these days. Would the teachers aide tell a person in a wheel-chair to go run in the playground???? That person is so incredibly politically incorrect, i can barely find words for it. I wore a banadana all through primary and my mum came in to tell all the teachers about it. occasionally substitutes would tell me to take it off in class, but it wasn't a big deal - i just explained. The thought of someone taking your poor daughters hat - thats just ... dispicable. stupid. ridiculously cruel.

That head on a platter is yours.
Permalink Reply by Tamera on March 20, 2011 at 4:12pm
That is unacceptable!! I remember to this day when my geography teacher took my baseball cap off my head infront of a room of my peers, I was mortified....and irate! I demanded my hat back(I had like 15 clumps of hair that I couldn't cut off) and he told me that I was breaking school rules(he skipped the informational meeting the staff had before I went to that school) I tipped over my desk and like 3 others trying to get away from that teacher and out of that room. I didn't go back to school for a year, I had a in-home tutor provided by the school, that was their way of sidestepping the war my mother was waging against them.(he was "let go" in the spring of that year) It set me back for a long time, everyone says that kids are cruel, but sometimes adults are worse. I hope you daughter is okay, and I would want that aide removed from her job, because if it had been a cancer patient or some other widely known illness/diease they would all but have a firing squad waiting for her, this is no different. Be strong, don't let one stupid person tear down your daughters self esteem.
Permalink Reply by Maria Jeremiason _ Signe's Mom on March 20, 2011 at 4:16pm
Thanks to all replies and for the support. She is clearly a woman who shouldn't be working with anyone. I'll keep you posted as to their response. Signe is handling it better than I am, her friends were all at the table and are a great support.
Permalink Reply by Artemis88 on March 21, 2011 at 11:55am
SO TRUE...if it were a cancer patient they would fire her on the spot. it IS the same thing.
Permalink Reply by Wendy on March 20, 2011 at 11:27pm
No,

I would be calling the school and reporting the lunch lady. That is so hurtful that lady should be disciplined, I am so sensitive about my hairloss at 45 and I can only imagine how hard it is for kids.

Take care and explain to your daughter there are just some people out there in the world who are very insensitive and stupid.

Take care.
Permalink Reply by Dominique Cleopatra on March 21, 2011 at 12:13am
Perhaps try to speak to the lunch lady personally, before reporting some woman who might get fired and not be able to find another job.
Permalink Reply by kastababy on March 21, 2011 at 2:29am
I'm not that sympathetic. I would have that woman's job - and her head - given to me on a silver platter, or else I would be all over the media exposing the school board for hiring such a person. In an anti-bullying climate such as the one we live in these days, it's easy to forget that teachers, administration, and staff can also be just as harassing - if not more so - than the children with whom we associate and allow to associate with our children, simply because an alopecian does not fit the profile of "normal" - and "normal" is to be achieved and maintained at all costs.

You're a good one - had it been me, I would be on the news because I would have gone postal on that lady! Good luck with whatever choice you make.

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