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Has alopecia changed you in a way? Your personality? Your character?
Hello everyone, as usual, I am momentarily depressed about my hair so I would like to ask you some questions. Since the onset of your alopecia, do you find a change within your character that has made you the way you are right now? For example, some of you have become quieter. Some of you have learned to be humble. Some of you have learned to be confident. Some of you have acquired the "I-don't-care" attitude. Some of you have become outgoing and bubbly.
I've definitely become a humble person. I don't know how to explain but after going through a lot in the past years, I have learned to accept the pain I'm carrying within myself. For example, some people can be rude and show off whatever they have - their luxurious clothes, fancy car, designer clothes, beautiful hair and skin, et cetera. But I've learned to be kind to people because you never know what they are going through at the moment.
In what ways has alopecia changed you? If there's any change at all?
Thank you.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Sharon on
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I commend you for your ability to just not worry about being bald at all. Even though being bald doesn't bother me, I am not ready to draw attention to it either. I think that you are received well because you are meeting the challenge head on and making the best of it. You are an inspiration.
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Permalink Reply by Fay on
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Thank you. I realized I drew just as much attention wearing a scarf as being bald. When people saw the scarf they thought cancer. I would answer no I don't have cancer I am just bald as a bat with the little prickles on the top LOL. Hey, someone even said today, I was the prettiest bald lady they ever saw. I wonder how many that have seen but hey I will take it especially at 47.
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It's taken me a while to get to this point, but there are days I just wear a "do-rag" on my head when we go to the store, and I don't really care what any one thinks! This coming from a girl who wouldn't go to the mailbox at the end of the driveway with out full makeup and clean fixed hair!
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I don't think this hair thing has changed me. I think age (66) has a lot to do with my outlook. As a younger woman, I would have had to find ways to do activities I no longer do anyway. Those activities where I feel wearing a wig is not going to be safe, I wear a hat or scarf. I have an exercise hat, for example. A wig at the gym won't work for me. I find if either of those headcovers come off, I won't shock anyone by being bald. My hair loss is also sort of a trade off thing in my case which maybe helps accept it. I have permanent hairloss following chemotherapy 3 years ago. Only about 1/3 of my hair came back. Talk about looking like a zombie. Ewwwww! It took me a while to accept it and I still have hope that something will change, but probably not. I can, however, tell myself that I'm alive because of chemotherapy rather than focus on the hair thing. It's the price for being on this side of the grass. It was, however, extremely devastating and a struggle to accept, but I do think it has made me more confident in ME not my vanity. For me vanity did not go away, tho. I don't leave the house without being put together, even if it's just that my hat matches my outfit. I have permanent make up, lash extensions, and quite a few wigs, hats, and scarves (don't wear scarves much, they remind me of chemo). I do still envy women with beautiful hair. (I also envy their youth) Then I look at women my age and know that my wigs look much better than their hair in most cases, so maybe it's not so bad afterall. It is what it is and I accept it - finally. I don't like it at all, but I don't think it changed me. Again, maybe it's because of why I'm bald. Now, cancer changed me bigtime. I try to live in the moment and let go of things I can't fix or that aren't really important. You do lots of soul searching when your body betrays you. I keep my hair buzzed close. No sense trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
I do still care about my appearance, and applaud those of you who can embrace the world being bald. I don't think I see any women who do that. When I do, it's typically a young woman who looks quite stunning. I tip my hat to her. .
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I am glad that the chemo worked for you and that even though you don't have your hair you made it through what most people fear.
I have to agree with you about the women our age (I am 60) my wig is a lot nicer than most hair. I also wear eyelashes and most women of 60+ have thinning lashes and eyebrows, so I am ahead of that curve. When I leave the house I try to look nice either with a wig or a hats with hair and a hat. I find a lot of women our age just quit trying to look nice and I think anything you do, whether you have hair or not, to improve your self esteem the better the world seems to you.
I also think that because I have alopecia I find I take better care of myself. I exercise a lot, do a lot of weight lifting and biking and try to stay in shape in general since I know that once one has an auto immune disease it is not such a leap to think of getting another, so I want to stay as strong as possible. I am not so sure I would have been as aware of my health without my alopecia pushing me on to take care of myself.
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Permalink Reply by Jennifer on
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Honestly I find myself less focused on people's physical attributes. When you go through alopecia you see how much people judge others and I realized I just can't be that person.
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Permalink Reply by Jessica Hoschouer on
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Well for me I can't really ever remember when my Alopecia started. However I believe it has made me more outgoing and friendly.
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Permalink Reply by thinlizzyfairy on
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Dear Miriam, keep your chin up :)
I really struggled with confidence at first but gradually through meeting people who had been through the same, learnt to just slow down, find some calm and accept myself for who I am. I am so grateful for alopecia as it has taught me not to stress over silly things, has made me kinder towards others, has drawn those who don't care about little things like hair near and has just taught me the importance of being. Being present in the moment and not fretting too much about what will be and what has been. I hope you are ok. You will get through the hard bits, I promise, and we are all here if you need a good natter or to get it all out. Take care x
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Permalink Reply by Pam D. on
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Over the 2 years I've had alopecia my hair has fallen out, grown back, fallen out, and is growing back again (not sure how much I'll get back this time, tho!). It hasn't changed me a bit; I do everything I did before, which includes going to the gym and riding my horses; my friends are still my friends and my husband of 30 years still loves me. It doesn't hurt and isn't going to kill me, so I feel lucky, in fact, that this is "all" I have to deal with. A while back I was thinking "what would I give up to have hair?" I couldn't think of a thing. Everything I hold dear isn't worth losing to get my hair back. I also thought "is there something I would rather be afflicted with than this?" Again, I couldn't think of something "better" to have. People ask me about my lack of hair (mostly their curious or concerned), so I tell them what's going on with me. From what I've read, this condition affects everyone is different ways; I don't know why I was surprised how negatively this impacts some people. IDK, maybe my "I don't care" attitude makes it easier for others to accept.
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Permalink Reply by Debbi Fuller on
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Love your attitude Aimee!!
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Permalink Reply by april on
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I believe we would be lying if we said we never had moments of being down and wishing we looked like we used too. I try not to worry or put much thought into things I can't change though. Sure, I could wear a wig to look like I used to. But I am not willing to be uncomfortable! I work 12 hr shifts in the hospital and that's stressful as it is. I have chosen to embrace this, I believe I am more patient and understanding. I believe our personalities compensate and shine brighter through our adversity. You learn to really appreciate the old adage-beauty truly is on the inside. Don't mean to sound so "cliche'ish".
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My alopecia began in 10/08. Eyebrows fell out totally in 3 months. I did not notice as my life was stressfull and busy. My worst symptoms were in 2009 with incredible sensitivity to the sun/heat and itching on my scalp that required a comb for relief. Testing and biopsies stated LPP. I have tried everything: cortisone shots and oral, plaquenil, clobetasol cream,lotion,drops. I even went to a DR at NYU who tried a combination of something different and my whole body reacted with bleeding under my skin. I decided to stop. Stop everything. Let my body rest. Nothing worked anyway. I now have no hair on my body except under arms and groin and about 10% left on my head. I visited all of the top Drs at Penn, Hershey and NYU. This is my second post in 5 years. I am doing so because every Dr I have visited has offered no cause or cure. Nothing. I have gone totally organic food (except when eating out). I take only necessary meds for afib. No over the counters. I am otherwise healthy and only a few lbs overweight. I am 64 female. I retired last year and feel this has helped. If this helps anyone else, at the time that this was triggered, I was under incredible emotional/physical/financial stress. But things are better in my life now and I am hoping my body will sense it. Maybe not. I agree with the person who stated that "this is not cancer". It is not deadly. And Drs treat you, the patient, as such. Almost as though I was wasting their time. It is emotionally painful and physically I am still in so much pain when I am in the heat or direct sun. Someone please tell me you are totally exhausted by 7pm daily. So this is life altering. I wear a real hair wig daily and have learned to cope. My husband is very supportive. My children and 9 grandchildren only bring it up when I do. No matter what, I still hope that my body "switch" will realize that I am no longer stressed, turn off the hair loss switch and slowly come back. And I still wish I knew what actually stressed me SO badly as I am only guessing this is the cause.
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