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Has anyone quit their job because of alopecia?
I am strongly considering quitting my job because I'm finding it very difficult making the transition from having hair to not having any. I work in NY City, and unfortunately with a bunch of catty women. I have diffuse alopecia areata, and up until now, have been able to get away with my alopecia. I've tried wigs...not for me, and I have not quite figured out what avenue to take...shaving, scarf, hat etc. Well, anyway I don't want to be the talk of the office, or have to explain myself over and over. I think I would just break down and cry. I just want to come to terms with my alopecia on my own time. Just wondering if anyone has quit their job because of their alopecia?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Fay on
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Yes, take a break not quit and come back bold. Like you hit the lottery and refuse to share. Take the time to figure out how you want to deal with it without hiding.
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Hi, I am not sure taking a break is the answer. If my daughter wanted to take a break from work or school from alopecia I would tell her not an option. This condition stinks but don't let it dictate your life. If you hate your job then start looking. I am not trying to come across hard because no one has shed more tears over this awful condition than me. I just don't want it to immobilize you. Friend me and send me a private message and I will give you my email address.
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Permalink Reply by kastababy on
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"I simply feel the way I feel" is a cop-out, and everyone reading this forum knows it. If you want to quit your job because you hate it, hate the work, hate the hours, hate whatever else about it, then quit your job. You'll get more respect if you quit your job because you hate it; you'll never get any respect if you quit your job because you used alopecia as an excuse.
I think it's just a crying shame that you've given the mean girls on your job so much power over you that you're willing to run away and quit rather than stand up and fight. It's always easier to run away - but when you start running, you'll always be running,and you will *never* have a moment's peace.
I'm not going to pretend I even understand - "I simply feel the way I feel" too; however, regardless of how I "feel", I put on my big girl panties and go to work every day - and when I don't like my job, or the work conditions get to be something I can't get with anymore, then I find a new job and keep on moving. If anyone has anything to say about my head, if they're not saying it directly to my face, it's a non-factor and I don't dignify it with a response. I'm in my job to do what I'm paid to do, not win any popularity contests. I leave my personal problems at the door when I get there, and I leave my work problems at the door when I leave - and I've been so much happier since I've done that than I ever was in the 10 years before that when I took everything personally.
I don't believe in putting anyone on a pedestal; nor do I believe in handling anyone with kid gloves and treating them like a fragile paper doll. I do believe, however, and pointing out the elephant in the room that nobody else chooses to mention, and if the emperor is wearing no clothes, I'm the child that tells him he's naked. I simply urge you not to use alopecia as a cop-out for whatever is really bugging you about your work situation.
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Permalink Reply by Lori Ann on
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I have had varying degrees of alopecia for about 20 years. Sometimes I have a full head of hair, sometimes several quarter sized spots missing and currently (for the past ten months) I have no hair, no eyebrows, no eyelashes, no hair, no where. I work at the corporate headquarters for a women's fashion retailer so I understand your situation.
When I felt the all over tingling on my head last December I knew it was all going to go and I knew it would go fast. At the beginning of December I had a full head of hair. Within 4 weeks, none. Because I have worn wigs in the past I was comfortable finding a style and color that was similar enough to my own that no one knew. I told my direct team (about 30 people) over the course of a week, however, because some of these people are my friends and at some point they are going to see me at Target or out running with no makeup and a ball cap on! When someone compliments my hair or inquires about who my hairdresser is I tell them. There is usually a moment of shock, but everyone that I have told has been inquisitive and kind and generally knows someone with a similar issue.
If you have never worn wigs before you may not feel comfortable wearing them at first. I will say that you can get some gorgeous monofilament top wigs that no one would ever question wasn't yours and they won't break the bank. I was petrified the first time I wore a wig, but now it's no big deal.
If you are honest about it and exude self confidence people will get used to it, even the catty ones. Believe me, the catty ones are usually the ones with the least self confidence. Being mean is a defense mechanism. I've broken down some of the best of them, and when I tell them about alopecia they often bring up a flaw of their own that they don't like about themselves. You may make some bonds that you didn't have before and you will find that they will be jealous because you don't spend fortunes coloring, cutting, straightening, waxing, etc!
I love my job and would never give it up over hair, or no hair for that matter. Good luck! ;)
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Permalink Reply by SouthPAW on
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LORI.....well said...it is the caddy ones who have low self esteem even WITH hair. It is s journey....yes I have my moments but no as much! You have to accept your situation in your time. I am a Christian whose Faith has helped to just LOVE ME!
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I used to cry when I wore a wig as I hated the feel of it - 14 years on I have worn a wig all the time (when out) and got used to it reasonably quickly. At first wore my usual colour then decided to have fun and got loads of different ones, told everyone and they were all really supportive and complimentary. Life was much easier being out in the open about it but had to quit my job as a waitress as it was too hot under a wig. Best decision I ever made - now I do buying and selling in my own time. I think trying to hide the problem is a mistake - allow people to be supportive and talk about it - it helped me. Still no hair though!!
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Permalink Reply by willow on
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Yes, after the fiasco of being let go by the two other jobs, I was broken down, depressed, hair falling out in clumps, and doc not wanting me to put the wig back on yet, cause it would stop any progress we could get. So I was hired by a high point sales outfit for expensive woman's clothing. By this time, I was very shy. I tried to follow my customer, and because this store was known for pressure sales, I even went as far as, Mame, I'm suppose to be with you. Well I didn't sell as much as the general manager had thought that I could and later that afternoon, while helping a customer, I over heard them talking. "I'm surprised she only sold this much, you'd think they way the poor thing looks, people would just buy" I quite a mere few minutes after this sunk in. I was so insulted. lol Blessings
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Permalink Reply by Katherine Ramos on
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Hi heather, I have had alopecia universalis for six years. I recently got a job and I wear a short wig. I am the front desk receptionist so I am the first person anyone sees when they walk in to the office. I know that some of my co workers question whether my hair is real or not. I know that there are rumors going around behind my back. But to be honest with you, I don't even care. I work with some catty women as well and you have to be strong. If anyone confronts you regarding your alopecia than you look them in the eye and tell them "this is none of your business unless it one day comes to affect my ability to do my job, otherwise, don't worry about me, worry about yourself" you do not have to disclose ANYTHING about yourself to these people heather. You are there to do your job, make some money, and leave to go home to your real life where people love you and accept you regardless of what you look like. Do not quit your job, that would be you running away from your problem. Be strong and confront it like I did. At the end of the day it's just hair. And you need to teach people that looks didn't matter it's what's inside that matters. Everyone is going to lose their looks after age 60 or so and we are all going to die, there is no escaping that. Be a strong woman, confront your problems, sometimes you will be surprised with the end result. But always keep in mind that you are not obligated to disclose ANY personal information with the people you work with unless it affects your ability to do your job. Teach yourself to truly not give a crap about what they think. Keep in mind that one day they will get wrinkles and lose all their hair as well. It's just hair heather. Don't ruin the quality of your personal life worrying about what these people say about you. To hell with them.
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Permalink Reply by Lexi on
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I thoroughly know what you are talking about. That is WHY I do not go to work wearing a wig, even though of course I look better with one. Any ONE!! I wear my thinning straggly hair. Catty women? Catty people! I would be feeling the eyes rolling and the tongues going at it, if I came in wearing a wig. I for one cannot fathom anyone liking being bald and feeling comfortable as a woman. It is just not A WOMAN to be bald. Period. But that is their opinion and their choice. More power to them, I guess. The only woman that looks good bald is an AA woman. Rocking big earrings. My head - I could feel dents in it!! Both sides!! That would be attractive. NOT. You have to feel very confident about yourself, have a good shaped head, I guess, and a very pretty face, good skin, the list goes on. Then maybe. Hair is what makes lots of women even remotely pretty. Pretty hair. When that is gone, what is left? I hope my hair hangs on until I no longer have to work at this place, or any other. Nearing retirement. Thankfully.
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Heather, you are not alone. I did quit the job I had before this one because I could not hide my alopecia.As a matter of fact, I could have written your post! We have the same type of hair loss, and I tried the wig,scarf,hat bit too. Was not for me either, although I tried them all because it just seemed better not to have to do all the explaining and get all the opinions,advice,stories from all those coworkers. At my last job, I was required to wear a hard hat....so wigs, hats and scarves were out, and when I had to take it off to walk through the buildings, my head was a ruined mess of sweat and scrawney patches of hair. It was horrible. I carried a beanie in my pocket to try to slip on fast but it was hopeless. It made me so self conscious and felt like I was standing out even more. The last thing that women who are balding want is to stand out. I couldn't deal with it. I admire these people who can just be who they are....and not feel judged and measured, and I am hopeful that I'll get to that point....and I want that for you too! I have an office job now, wear my hair in a shortish layered style and have discovered Bosley hair fibers, which have made all the difference in the world to me. People can probably tell if they get super close, but I maintain my "bubble" and step back when they move in close. I never get caught in the rain, I have little umbrellas everywhere, and I carry fibers and hairspray in my purse.Not perfect, but it allows me to function.
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Permalink Reply by Heather on
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I am not saying I never want to work again, for those who think it's a cop out. I'm so glad YOU are so comfortable in your own skin. I just want to wrap my brain around the fact that I will have to get used to a whole new identity when I look in the mirror. Maybe, when I'm entirely bald, I will come to love it. But I'm not there yet. And, as I mentioned previously, I hate my job. In the meantime I may stumble across something I would really like to do. I just need to process what's going on
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