Hey guys and gals,

So before I lost my hair and was forced to wear a wig I had longer brown hair.  I loved it and tried to replicate it with a custom-made wig, but it just didn't feel the same and I didn't like there being so much wig for the wind to grab onto and screw up.  It looked really wiggy, and I spent a lot of time maintaining it to try to avoid that wigginess.

So I decided to switch styles to something more manageable, and, when I my hubby and I went to a family friend's house, instead of the long brown hair they were used to seeing me under, I was wearing a bobbed-off blonde wig.  But it's not a wig-- I decided to get a haircut and dye it!  Or so I told them.  I still haven't told anyone beyond my husband that I wear a wig, and I wasn't gonna start then.  The wife loved the new cut, and tried to run her hands through it, but I evaded.

Anyways, I really don't like this style.  It doesn't fit me well and I feel very uptight in it and feel like I have to wear a lot of makeup to make it work.  I guess it offers the advantage that it won't get as wet in a pool (I still don't swim and replace wigs if I'm in the water at all) and the wind doesn't mess with it as much, although it still messes the wig up, and I still have to spend just as much time styling it as before.  And its really stressful not being able to just take the wig off.

Goddamn, I want this to be over and for my hair to grow back.  Am I up a creek without a paddle?

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Is that a wig in the picture? It looks fantastic! Do you want to stay with the same color, or go back to dark brown? If you're going to stay with the Blonde, you can put your hair in a low ponytail for a while because nobody can really tell how long your hair is in a ponytail. Just get progressively longer wigs until you're back at the length you're used to. If you're going to go back to your natural color, get a wig in that color but just slightly longer by an inch or so and just say you decided to go back to your original color. Do you wear synthetic or human hair? What you could do is shop at the same company and buy three or four wigs similar in style, but each one a little bit longer and just move on down the line - wear the first one the first length for a month, then move to the second, little bit longer one the next month, etc. HTH!

To wear it in a ponytail is a great suggestion.  I went from a 10" to a 12" to a 14" without much talk.  I did the same thing each time.  The first couple of days I threw it up in a pony.  Here is a pic of mine in a ponytail.  When I got the 14" is was much darker but I just told people I got my hair done. :)  It gets easier, I swear.  I also learned people don't pay as much attention as we do. 

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Yes. That's what I've done in the past. Get one that's a little bit longer and start with it in a low bun at the nape of your neck. Then after a while, move on to the ponytail.

Hi can you tell me what wig you put in the ponytail. And if you were comfortable? Thanks. I'm trying to find a summer ponytail

It depends on the type of wig. If it's a wefted wig with a lace front, you won't be able to do a high ponytail; it would have to be a low ponytail at the base of your neck. If you have a full lace wig, you can wear a high ponytail because you'll have baby hairs around the perimeter. And I've been comfortable.

Jody Gorski is wearing a Freedom vacuum.  That is the one she is putting up in a ponytail.  I do the same thing in the summer - I keep one of mine long so  can wear it up.

All good suggestions, but of course you know the easiest way to deal with this is not to try and hide the fact that you're wearing a wig.  When people attempt to touch it or get really close I think they already KNOW that you're wearing one and just want confirmation.  Once they know, you can do whatever the heck you want.  I know it's scary to let people know but really, what are you hiding?  That you're not perfect?  That you have stuff just like everybody else does that is a pain and baggage that you have to deal with?  So do they.  It might not be their hair, but I guarantee that there is SOMETHING.  Once you "come out" you can change your hair whenever you want and all you'll get from your friends is what I get from mine - "gee, I hate you, you're hair always looks great and you have so much CHOICE.  I'm gonna shave my head" of course they don't do it, but the point is that they also don't care.  Free yourself up.

We all want our hair back, but it's probably not going to happen.  We have to learn to accept it, which isn't easy.  The first time my hair fell out I was mortified. Didn't tell anyone, even everyone knew anyway, but didn't ask.  Now 30 some years later I don't care who knows.  If someone says "cute hair" i just tell them it's from a box and laugh it off.

You basically are up that creek without a paddle.

Pamela when people tell me my hair is cute I tell them
To thank my wig designers and wig seamstresses.
I love that you tell them it's from a box. So funny !
People feel at ease with me re my 24/7 wig wearing life
They adapt to it super fast and it's a non-issue
Even with very very young music lesson kid students.
I'm not self conscious about it. I have nothing to hide

There are certainly ways to try to hide the fact that you are wearing a wig but I think there are important advantages to being open about having alopecia and wearing a wig.  When I had to shave the last of my hair off I knew I didn't want to deal with feeling I was hiding something and the stress that goes with that.  I intentionally got a wig very different from what my own hair to trigger questions.  I found it easier to respond to comments on my hair rather that find ways of raising the issue.  In a given week I will wear two or three very different looks and I have found this very freeing and haven't encountered any negative responses. 

Marlowe I love to " trigger learning by questions" by
Wearing over 80 different wigs. I wear them 24/7
And switch daily nightly and even in between.
So glad that you to like to " trigger" questions.
My wigs pave the way for me to teach about my
Dwarfism Alopecia. Even strangers are supportive and amazed
Countless times I have strangers praising my beautiful hair
And they are amazed to hear it's a wig. I even offer to
Pop the wig off to show them my bald head. I show them my bald
Selfies on my iPhone. I encourage them to ask questions
I love being a dwarfism Alopecia wig diva fashionista princess teacher
Educating and teaching and being a dwarfism Alopecia wig ambassador.

I have to agree with those who have stated that it is best to tell people.  People know that I wear wigs.  If they walk into my office at home, they see the wig heads with the wigs on the credenza.  Once people know, it becomes an unimportant issue.  You are also free to change wigs, as I do among the wigs that I own, without fear of people noticing.  It actually can be fun to wear wigs because you can have the hair style that you perhaps could not have, or were afraid to have, with your real hair. 

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