How do you react or what do you say when someone compliments you on your hair ?

Hi. I work in a primary care office & have been there for 13 years. I know a lot of the patients very well, also, my coworkers know me very well. My coworkers know that I have alopecia, but I had it under control for years. Everything that I have used for 6 years has stopped working for me. I decided to buy a few toppers. I was very nervous wearing one to work for the first time. They could tell my hair looked a little different and all of a sudden I had thicker bangs. I see patients staring at my hair trying to figure out what is different. When someone compliments me on the way it looks, I don't know how to react or what to say besides thank you. But I feel funny & uncomfortable and try to get off the subject of my hair.
If you wear a topper or wig, how do you react? How do you handle this situation ?
Need some advice. I am getting more comfortable everyday, but I have good days & bad days. I hate going to the hairdresser now. I used to enjoy it. Sometimes I feel like they can tell I am wearing a hairpiece and I feel embarrassed.

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Permalink Reply by Laura Adams on February 11, 2014 at 6:12am

Since I am totally open about my alopecia, and wear wigs only a fraction of the time anyway, I just say "Thanks, it's a wig. I love this one. I can change my hairstyle whenever" . I then use the opportunity to tell then very briefly what alopecia is. (Just an autoimmune condition that attacks your hair follicles and makes your hair not grow"), just so they will know. - also because the next time they see me I'll most likely NOT be wearing my 'hair'.

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Permalink Reply by Laura Adams on February 11, 2014 at 6:14am

Sorry I can't offer advice. I just had to stop hiding it. That's just me,though,

 

Permalink Reply by Kelly on February 11, 2014 at 8:33pm
Hi & Thank you. I'm sure I will make it to the day where I don't care if I go out with or without a hairpiece on. I'm at the point where I have to accept it and deal with it. I'm doing good so far. They make great hair toppers. I'm just getting used to the fact I have to wear them everyday.
Permalink Reply by Kelly on February 11, 2014 at 8:19pm
Thank you !
Permalink Reply by Epo on February 11, 2014 at 10:34am

I'm still uncomfortable with compliments and would over-compensate with "oh yeah, I guess... it wasn't me though, I had to spend a lot on it" (talk about sort of telling the truth since my wig was $$$ and I get it styled as often as some women get blowouts in NYC).

These days, if someone compliments my hair, I try to stick to a "Thanks!" and change the topic, because I don't like bringing attention to my hair - I'm not yet at a place were I can say "it's a wig!" or the truth. My good friends and family know its a wig, but for everyone else, I just leave it at thank you.

Sometimes (maybe even every other day) I feel like people can tell I am wearing a hairpiece, and I used to feel embarrassed by it BUT I've come to the realization that my wig looks so good, and looks awesome! And even if people can tell, what's it to them? None of them have said anything to me (except one lone girl, but she has a track record of being mean) so I go on with my day. I understand that it's not an ideal situation, who wouldn't want their own hair back but take pride in the compliments.

Permalink Reply by Kelly on February 11, 2014 at 8:18pm
Thanks for your reply. I appreciate it. I'm glad I found this website. Good for you.I like the way you think. You have a good attitude.
Permalink Reply by Kelly on February 11, 2014 at 8:14pm
Thanks for your reply. I feel better knowing I'm not alone. You sound a lot like me. I'm trying to get to the point where I don't care what anyone thinks, but it's hard. I don't know why I care anyway.
Permalink Reply by Epo on February 14, 2014 at 8:48pm

I don't know why I care either, it sort of feels gutteral - like it's just a part of me that cares. Maybe because humans, by nature, are very aware of their surroundings, and we assume that people are just looking at each other to point out things? Not sure, but I too am also trying to get to a point where I don't care what others think. There's nothing for us to be ashamed of, and we are being strong, wonderful people who should be proud of our courage, so you'd think it'd be a little bit easier to not care but it's hard.

Just try to remember that as long as you love yourself, your wig, your being, whatever anyone else says whether good or bad, is just that - something someone else said. What you feel is what matters! 

Permalink Reply by femmemuscle on February 13, 2014 at 11:19am

whenever someone compliments me, i too, get a kind of shocked feeling.. then remind myself - "Femme, the wig - they're talking about the wig - not your hair"..

I say thanks, and keep working..

thanks for all of your posts, i'm not alone..and that helps.

Permalink Reply by Sunflower25 on February 14, 2014 at 7:06pm

I started wearing a wig a week ago.  I have been getting compliments from everyone - no one seems any wiser.  The one I'm wearing is a drastic different cut then how I've had it for years - so its a shocker that everyone is noticing.  Initially, I was just like you, I didn't really know how to react.  Now?  I'm just basking in it!  I figure, there's no reason not to fully accept the compliments!  No one seems to know its a wig - and I'm not about to let the cat out of the bag.

Permalink Reply by Nicky on February 14, 2014 at 10:31pm
When I tell people that I'm wearing a wig they are so shocked! Because of how the wig looked on me! They said that they would've never realized that I was wearing a wig. People have told me that I look just like a normal person with hair. So I would try it and the key is to just be yourself! :)

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