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How to accept being ugly
This is going to sound majorly harsh, but hear me out.
I feel like the "bald is beautiful" is a lie we tell ourselves and others just to feel better. I don't think bald is beautiful. I think some can be beautiful IN SPITE of being bald, but it will always detract from their appearance. I don't want to pamper myself and say that if I take a bubble bath and get new clothes and work on the rest of my appearance and "do things to make myself feel pretty" I'll feel attractive, because guess what, I'm not, and I won't try to fool myself into thinking I am. I'm sorry, I realize how insulting to everyone this sounds, but looks DO weigh more than personality in the world. Unfair and sucky, but it's true and we all know it. Jobs, dating, personal worth largely hinges on social perception of ourselves. I can't look a certain way and I can't fool myself into feeling a certain way and so normally I focus on other things, but I'm still never really ok. I go through life knowing that disgust is power, and so no one will mess with me because in a way, walking around with a half smooth half shaved head makes me look tough. But still, I know I am still not ok with my ugliness.
There must be a way to peace without lying to myself. Question is, how can I come to terms and accept that I am ugly? Any thoughts?
-PG
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Dianna 845 on
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Hey Cissie, I've only had for few months. I'm also 57. Believe that's when you got. Anyhow, having hard time finding clothes and wigs. Are you wearing synthetic? If so do you have any fav,s? Thanks
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Permalink Reply by Football fan on
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Everyone is intitled to their own opinion.There is no right or wrong way to feel. If you can walk around bald love the way you look and don't care if you ever get your hair back again.Or if your self conscious and need to wear a wig to feel confident and will try anything to get your hair back.Way to many preachy opinions on this post telling people how they have to feel!
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Permalink Reply by Susan on
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If we cannot relate to each other's dispositions regarding Alopecia.Then how does someone without Alopecia understatrd?
The initial question,that started this post,enabled us all to respond from our individual experiences and points of view.
No two people will feel the same.
Let's use our energy to promote awareness and support each other while we live our lives to the fullest.
There is no need to tear each other down.
If a bald woman has high self esteem and realizes that she can use her place of loss to create positive change,then the more power to her.
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Permalink Reply by dreamscometrue on
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I agree Susan:)!!
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Permalink Reply by Dominique Cleopatra on
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Pippinsgirl, I'm a little late to the party, but have you considered bonding 24/7 with a lovely human hair system like I do. I am a girly girl and can't imagine feeling happy, feminine, or pretty without it, while having extensive alopecia areata. I know many women feel beautiful and sexy bald, but that has never been my experience.
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Well I'm in the same boat as you except I'm a man which make it 100 times worse. I know I'm ugly and women poor behavior toward me has shown as much. I'm 20 and never had a girlfriend. Sad right? Well I can't really blame myself. Women are very viscious toward ugly fellas at a young age. Well at any age to be honest. There isn't much I can do in regard to my appearance. I hate myself and alopecia more than anything. I doubt I will ever accept myself and feel any different. I have no desire to have a succeful career and be a walking atm for women who are really just disgusted by my appearance.
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How sick that some people accuse you of being a troll. Not all of us want to be ugly or look like cancer patients when we go about our lives.
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I can relate with what you are going through pippinsgirl. I have been a patient of AA since 2005 and had AU for a year. It has been a roller-coaster ride. I have come across people who pinpointed my bald patches that I was unable to hide even after desperate attempts at school. It was a nightmare. Things got better when I got a wig after my parents realised alopecia was taking its toll on me. I appreciate the fact that now I am able to step out of my house without feeling conspicuous. But, I have slipped into a kind of dual life, living with and without wig. It is a challenge that I undertake everyday. I believe God gave us such a visible autoimmune disorder to make us stronger and be an inspiration to others. lets accept the fact with grace that yes we are unique.
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I have experienced AU for the last 10 years, AA for 4 years ( 4 episodes) and the rest of my 53 years i had a wondrous mane. Even when i was 43, my hair was thick and brown.
My hair always grew back when i had AA and i used nothing, for there is NO treatment or cure. NEVER has been.
ONLY REMISSION ....your immune system grows your hair back( partial or full ) and for what time period.
I had read about AU and dreaded it. I knew if it happenened to me, that was my hair gone for good. People, forums /research have proved this to be the case. When you get AU, your fucked regarding remission.
It annoys me that on this forum and others, newbies don't listen regarding AU , No immumosuppressant drug will bring your hair back or ever has. All that happens is you stop taking the drug and the hair falls out and you might get sick
If you get AU ( barring being on cancer drugs or rejection drugs for new body parts) It's not happening.
So your fucked!!!!!!
Life is going to be different!!!!!!!!
Either be an Andrey and sink in your own shit or try to smell the roses, via the thorns.
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Good luck to everyone on this journey.I am choosing JOY!
Misery loves company...
So I am out of this thread.
Goodbye
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I agree Susan!! This thread served its purpose for what it was intended. No more attention given from me. I agree misery loves company!! I'm out!!
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