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How to handle ?'s regarding wearing wigs from acquaintances
I would like to start wearing wigs that are different from one another. How do you handle people who ask such things as " did you cut your hair" "did you color your hair" "is that a wig" ? If its a stranger I just tell them its a wig and I was having a bad hair day. But what do you say to people you somewhat know but not enough to stand there in the middle of a grocery aisle and explain why my hair looks different than it did last week? I live in a small town where every one knows everyone in one way or another. I don't want to sound snotty I just want a quick answer that doesn't give them an option to keep the conversation going.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Pamela on
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I think your answer, "I was having a bad hair day." would convey the message nicely.
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I think it depends on whether you want to wear rather drastically different wigs on a regular basis -- e.g., one day have short hair, another day have long hair, or one day have red hair, another day have blond. If that's what you want to do -- first, that sounds AWESOME (live it up!), and second, just own it. If someone asks, just wink and smile and say something like, "New day, new look!" If this is more of a one time or gradual change, you can say that you were having a bad hair day or you've been trying out a new hairdresser or got extensions or something. If they ask who the hairdresser is, just say it was someone in a big city or say you went out of town to visit someone and got your hair done. The odds of anyone checking are extremely low, and if you're afraid that the person you're talking to is an amateur detective, you can say that the name of the stylist is right on the tip of your tongue, but darn, you can't remember. It's pretty surprising, but if you say something with confidence, people tend to believe you -- wigs are not at all the first thing that come to mind for most folks. I've changed wigs -- short to long; regular length to something longer; bangs to no bangs, etc. -- and told people at work that it was extensions or a new amazing hairdresser. They believe me.
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Stacie, i love your response. i live in a retirement community (hundreds of people) and i am paranoid about changing my wig, look or length. Afraid people will suspect i wear wigs. Actually, i don't think most people are that observant, or really care. Next time some one asks, i am going to use one of your responses. Women with hair constantly change styles, color jobs etc.. I think when you have to wear wigs, one can become hyper sensitive (with good reason) lauren
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Stacie, I love the answer "New day, New Look". I'll definitely use that one. But when people tell me people aren't that observant, I beg to differ. I have men that comment on my hair. I was in the grocery store the other day when I ran into a man that use to live across the street and he said "you cut your hair?" Later that same week I brought my car in for an oil change and the guy changing the oil said the same thing. Wonder what he'd say if I came in again with my long wig.
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Oh, I agree that people are observant! But wigs are not high up on their list of explanations. People tend to believe and go along with what you tell them if you say it with a lot of confidence. I go to the grocery wearing different wigs -- I've gone with brown hair, red hair, light brown hair, short hair, and long hair. The butcher notices, for sure -- he comments on my hair every time. If he asks whether I got something done or did I change my hair, I smile real big and say, "New day, new look! or "Oh, you know me, I love experimenting with my hair!" or "My hair is how I express myself, today I'm feeling great!" [followed by a hair swish]. I don't always feel confident and happy, but I'm a firm believer in fake it till you make it. I ACT confident and happy about it, so it becomes more natural to him and to others who notice my hair.
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I've come back to my discussion to reread the answers and it dawns on me " The secret has become bigger than the hair loss itself". I guess the main thing that bugs me is that I'm not being truthful, I feel like I'm hiding this deep down dirty secret by giving these answers and that's the main thing I'm trying to get away from and don't know how. I've had Alopecia for about 12 yrs now and am so over it and what it's done to my life, but now I've got all these people I've been telling these little lies to that I don't know how to come clean other than going out bald and I'm not ready for that.
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I think if you want the feeling of hiding to go away you need to be willing to discuss the situation with people. I chose a dramatically different wig to intentionally trigger comments and questions. I found that easier than trying to start any conversations on the subject. My willingness to talk about it has been very freeing. I wear wigs to work but everyone knows. On the weekends I tend to just wear hats - I get to pick what I find most comfortable for any given situation.
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