Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
I am scared to have children.
I am worried that they will carry this on. My parents do not have it and I do not know of any other family members that have it.
I did not get areta till I was bout 21 and am 26 now.
I did not get areta till I was bout 21 and am 26 now.
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Orbit on
-
I know exactly what you mean. I have to admit that my Alopecia has definitely played a role in my family planning decisions. I decided that there is no way that I would want to knowingly pass this genetic anomaly along to any potential children. I'm the only one in my family and I am okay with my AU now, but as a kid it can be a little rough. For me, I think that it would be cruel to take the chances of passing it along.
Friends and family tell me that is crazy and that I would be a great parent and a positive role model to my kids if they did happen to get it. I tend to agree, however it still holds me back.
-
Permalink Reply by Donna on
-
Hi Mscookie,
I sympathise with your worries on this. Try not to let it worry you too much as unfortunately no one can tell either way what will happen should you decide to start a family. I stressed about this while pregnant, while my kids were toddlers, while my kids were growing up they are now aged 14yrs and 10yrs and both have gorgeous healthly hair and I'm very grateful for that. I do realise however that alopecia can develop at any time and I am always on the look out for any signs of it.
My Dad had AU as a child and he was my best friend when I was little but I don't think he ever managed to come to terms with the fact I had alopecia, he most definately blamed himself. To be honest I really felt for him and in no way do I blame him for my condition. I do however feel extremely grateful to him for my life.
I hope this helps.
-
Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on
-
Hi
While I understand your trepidation about having children I think it is a tragedy if you want children to say no because they may have alopecia.
I don't have alopecia and either does my husband, but our daughter does have AA. There are no guarantees in life as to what genes you are given and what you pass on. In my experience (I deal with 100's of people with alopecia). There are very few Alopecian parents that have alopecian children. I'm not sure of the actual statistics, but not many.
I would never say to my daughter she should not have children because she may pass on her condition. I mean people think about that for a moment. Doesn't that somehow indicate that she is some sort of malformed person. When she isn't - she has a condition that she has no control over. The genes came from my husband and I, but if we are playing the blame game I wonder how far we could go back to find who passed on that first wonky gene, maybe my Mum, or maybe my Mum's mum - this could go on forever.
Child having and rearing doesn't come with guarantees of perfection. But I have to say both my children are perfect in every way to me. One hairless, one hairy.
I understand if you had a choice to have a child with aa or not of course we would all say please - no thanks it causes pain and I don't want pain in my childs life. But there is no choice - you babies will be what your babies are and I assure you without doubt you will love and do your best by them.
Rosy
-
-
I am adopted, so I don't know my biological-family medical history and whether or not it includes alopecia. Part of me wants to have kids someday and I think I'd make a good parent. However, my childhood was miserable, and I don't think I have the strength to emotionally support a child with alopecia. If there's a chance I'll pass this on, I won't have kids.
-
-
Hi Casey
I respect your choice.
I just wanted to pass on a little story from a lady I met when my daughter was first diagnosed with AA. She has never told me why, but she adopted her children - she has had aa since she was very young. Her children are lovely and she now has grandchildren, one of her grandbabies has aa - not severe but never the less it is there. Obviously it hasn't come from her genes as her children were adopted.
There are no guarantees in this life.
Rosy
-
Permalink Reply by BaldGirlsDoLunch.org on
-
Parents can ruin their children's lives just by being 'toxic' with horrible parenting skills that irreparably cause psycho-social adjustment problems. The world is full is tragically bad parenting.
Were those same parents challenged to grow up, rise to the occasion and learn how to parent well for a child with alopecia areata, there's the potential that the outcome for the entire family dynamic could be fabulous. You just never know.
You can screw up royally as a parent or you can do it well. A child with AA has every chance or maybe even a greater chance to grow up to be a successful, happy and whole human being. I would ask the people on this site who were raised as children with aa about the quality of their lives compared to their friends.
Jackie Onassis said," "if you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much."
We can't pick our parents and AA has little to do with living a successful life.
Thea
-
Permalink Reply by Dielle on
-
If it makes you feel any better I will tell you my story. I had aa when I was about 2 to 3 but then for no reason at all my hair came back, and then I didn't have another episode of it until I was 13 years old (great timing right? lol I am 18 and still have it). I won't lie, it was really tough because there are always going to be a couple of kids that want to be cruel, but I had grown up with all of the kids in my middle school and so they ALL knew that I had aa and for the most part it was ok, hard sometimes but good for the most part. Not to mention I was in denial and wore a hat all through middle school. I can tell you right now that it is most likely not genetic because I have an identical twin sister that has a full THICK head of hair while I am completely bald and have no eyebrows even. If it was strictly genetic then we would both have it because we both have the same autoimmune disorders save for alopecia. There is also nobody on either side of my family that has aa, I am the only one. I can honestly say that while my childhood was hard, my parents made it so much easier, and I can definitely say that I am a better person for having gone through what I did. So few children get the opportunity to grow as a person so quickly and in such a good way. Unlike a lot of my friends I can empathize with people that have problems completely different from mine because I realized that emotional pain is completely relative and everybodys problems can feel like a black hole. All you kid would need is all of the support that you could give it, and having dealt with it yourself you would be in an amazing position to help because you know all of the emotional pitfalls. I would say go for it because even if one of your children did develop aa I can guarantee that they wouldn't blame you. I don't blame my parents (although I know they sometimes blame themselves), and I love them and I am so much closer to them than my friends are to their parents that I wouldn't change the way my life has gone. GOOD LUCK!!!
-
Permalink Reply by sharon on
-
i know exactly where u come n from i was determined never to have kids and when i got reg with my first child i didnt want it i never admitted why and then i had some counciling to help me decide and i spoke to my doctor my doctor assured me that because my baby would be mixed race afro carribien and white the chances where slim as black people dont get alopicia,!!!mind u that was 22 yrs ago and i now know that was not true, any way i had my son and another since and neither have got it thank god because it would of broken my heart if they did x its a tough decision but children are a gift and think to your self just because they might have it u might go with out children and they prob wont ever get it good luck with yor choices honey x
-
-
It's hard to get alopecia areata unless you're in a very rare family where it shows up repeatedly. It takes a multi-plex of genes to come together. Statistically any one person has only about a 1.7% lifetime chance to have some form of it and that includes as best as can be known, all transient cases, too.
-
Permalink Reply by Dominique on
-
I too have considered this question - often and with varied opinions. Seem to change my mind alot.
For further support of Dielle's statement though - I also have an identical twin who doesn't have alopecia, as does another girl on here Alison.
Wonder if someone's done a study into this...
On the other hand, I have also met a set of twins who both had the same amount of hair loss. Maybe an environmental trigger.
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
