Alopecia World
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I confess: I like it when men like what they see!
I take silent pleasure in seeing that my alopecic and adorable wife is pleasing to the eyes of other men. However, I never lose sight of the fact that she chose to grant me very special and exclusive privileges for several reasons, not the least of which is my authentic acceptance of her alopecia seven days a week, 24 hours a day.
There is not a moment when I want her to cover her head or, more to the point, hide her alopecia areata. I have always proudly accompanied her to business meetings, church services, family gatherings and other social functions, parks, stores, restaurants, vacation destinations, and even to our respective workplaces.
Moreover, I never make an apology or some preemptive announcement regarding her patchy hair loss or baldness simply because she is my better half and not some blotch on my public image.
There is nothing -- and I mean nothing -- "abnormal" about her that I need to explain or justify. As she made crystal clear on her MySpace page when we met three years ago, her appearance is au naturel. Thus, natural is precisely the way she and I act, and it is the way we expect others to react.
Indeed, these are some of the things that distinguish my love from the mere lust of others. My burning desire for her has never been reducible to some fetish-like fascination with her. She is the phenomenal woman of my dreams not only because of what she looks like, bald or otherwise, but also because of what she is like.
I may be pleased without words when others notice her, but I'm definitely pleased beyond words that she noticed me.
rj, Co-founder
Alopecia World
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Chefpam on
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OMG..this made me cry. What a lucky gal she is and you as well. We all want more than anything for the love of our life to accept us, put us on a pedestal, protect us, and need us AND if they truly love us, they will NO questions asked. You sound like a wonderful husband. God bless you and your wife! How I wish the world was full of more people like you.........
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Permalink Reply by rj, Co-founder on
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Chefpam, thanks for the positively encouraging reply. Yes, indeed, I'm most certainly a "lucky gal...as well." ;-)
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Permalink Reply by Melissa on
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Thank you for sharing! You sound like you both found something very special in one another...what more could we ever ask for in life?
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How sweet, Melissa. :-)
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Permalink Reply by Linda Rollins on
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Very well said RJ, wish more people thought like you. I wish I could feel more comfortable about my situation (Im getting better thanks to this site), but meeting guys is really a problem for me because i don't want to answer questions or have to explain why i wear a wig unless I know this person is going to be in my life....More people that don't have alopecia really needs to visit Alopecia World.....
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Thanks, Linda. I agree with you, which is why I started groups like Non-alopecians in Alopecia World and Men Who Don't Mind. As I recently wrote to some new members who don't have alopecia, there's a lot of practical advice and tips on those pages, especially for someone open to truly loving a person with alopecia. Let's hope more and more caring non-alopecians come to see all our beloved has to offer them, too.
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Permalink Reply by Cheryl, Co-founder on
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Hi Linda, have you been watching this discussion on "when to tell a loved one you have alopecia", you may find it really interesting and informative.
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Hey Cheryl, no I haven't but I will now, thanks for sharing. Have a wonderful weekend!!!!
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Permalink Reply by Karen Smith on
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I am praying that God sends my beautiful daughter a man like you when the time is right. Thanks for sharing this.
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Gail, I know it ;)
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I can honestly say that rj has never - I repeat: NEVER - made me think twice about my alopecia at any stage of our relationship. Before we started dating I didn’t think of myself as “less than,” and ever since we’ve been a couple I’ve never thought of myself as “less than” because of my alopecia.
That being said, after reading this post, I need to acknowledge that I have taken for granted the fact that he assimilated my alopecia so well that I hadn’t really noticed that he indeed makes no apologies, excuses or preemptive announcements about my condition.
Without a doubt, God has bestowed on me the gift of a good husband. Thank you, Babe. I love you!
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