Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Lace on November 12, 2012 at 11:33pm

Well, I for one am glad you did. There's always value in speaking one's truth, even when that truth sounds horrid.

I read your entire post. First off, I have to say, you're a good writer. Forgive me for saying this, but I enjoyed reading your 'rant'. You're very evocative.

A question I have for you is: do you feel at least a smidgen better having written it? I know that's true of me; I write something when I'm feeling down, and it takes a little of the edge off. I know that it doesn't take away all of the pain ( would that it did!) but having even a little respite is a good thing, I think.

I have no words of wisdom for you, except this: keep writing and telling your truth and telling your story. People really are listening.

Permalink Reply by Jack on November 13, 2012 at 9:03pm

Thanks for your comments but sadly no I didn't feel any better at all. Whats worse is that there is so more I had to say but I hated thinking about it. Thanks again.

Permalink Reply by Lace on November 13, 2012 at 9:47pm

So say it then! Think about it and then say it. No point in pulling your punches.

Permalink Reply by Jack on November 13, 2012 at 9:04pm

Don't I know it, couldn't agree more.

Permalink Reply by Christine on November 13, 2012 at 1:07am

Jack,
like Lace, I read the whole post too, and she said it very well, we are listening! My hope is that you will stay on here with us and look around the site some, I developed AA ten years ago when I was 40, being a woman losing her hair was unbelievable, something I had never even thought about, and God gave me the grace of those ten years to adjust.....I'm still adjusting. I don't think your feeling about this are out of line, this is how you feel, it has merit. I'm concerned about the depth of those feeling, which seem to carry over into the core of who you are as a person, I'm not going to tell you to rock the bald head look, because not all of us can do that, me included. I will tell you that as a woman, I have found completely bald men very attractive, but whats important is you don't feel that way, and can't accept that anyone else could either. Please continue to post, and share your feelings.

Permalink Reply by Jack on November 13, 2012 at 9:30pm

Thanks Christine.
Your words are exactly what I would tell others but for some reason I don't believe them myself. No matter what I do I will always be the bald guy, who is almost unanimously regarded as the most unappealing person on the planet. I have read and heard so many negative comments towards mpb it's hard to think otherwise. The odd part of it all is that I think the shaved head look is perfectly fine and especially so on woman, it's the mpb and the "horseshoe" that eats me. If I was bald by choice it would be enitrely different. The difference is sounds so minor but it makes a world of difference in my thinking. Thanks again for taking the time to comment.

Permalink Reply by LilyBell*Murphy'sLawLuvsMe on November 13, 2012 at 11:52am

I read your entire post - nothing any of us can say will make it better for you - I am sure you know that. Are you seeing a medical doctor for depression. You NEED to see one for an evaluation - what you are describing is way beyond being upset or sad at not having hair. While there may not be meds to regrow your hair there are meds that can change the level of depression you are feeling and bring the whole hair issue back into perspective. Also, have you considered a bonded on hair system? I know it is not the same as growning your own hair but they are very realistic and nobody could tell and you would then look the way you want to. Regardless if you go with a bonded system or not - you really really really do need to see a medical doctor who can evaluate your emotional health.

Permalink Reply by Lace on November 13, 2012 at 9:49pm

I second this.

Permalink Reply by Jack on November 13, 2012 at 10:13pm

Hi LilyBell.
Thanks for reading. You are 100% correct in your assement of depression. I have lived with borderline personality disorder for as long as I can remember, mostly due (I think) to being highly isolated as a teen. The hair situtation just took the bpd to a whole new level. There are many things I could write here but I think you have a good idea of how my mind works. Thanks again.

Permalink Reply by Jack on November 13, 2012 at 10:31pm

Hi Wisel.
It is more than hair you are correct. Like I said even if I had hair I would still more than likey shave it off and that is why I really didn't want to post it here and did delete it the first time. I also feel awful that I posted it here and feel like this is completely the wrong place for it and that it should be removed. But saying that it is about hair, it is about my mpb and it honestly doesn't feel like it should be on my head and it has had a huge effect on my ability to progress through life.

Permalink Reply by Jack on November 13, 2012 at 10:34pm

Wow thanks all.

I'am so glad that everyone can clearly see this is how I reflect on myself and not on anybody else. I was so worried people would take it the wrong way and that is the last thing I wanted.

Thanks again, your comments have been greatly appreciated.

Permalink Reply by Karen Smith on November 14, 2012 at 8:59pm

Hi, I have read your post and am concerned that you are depressed also. This condition stinks!! It doesn't have to ruin your life unless you let it. My daughter developed AU at age 18. She is 21 and at college and is having such a great time. She has a ton of friends and a great boyfriend. She wears wigs and generally deals with this by ignoring it. People have accepted her and I know they don't make an issue of it. Alot of how people will react to you is based on how you are dealing with it. When she first got this, I cried all the time and she said, "Mom no matter what happens in life you have to find a way to be happy." She inspires me and alot of people everyday. I hope you can find a way to be happy.

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