Alopecia World
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I'm an alien
I have a 7 year old daughter who is used to me with a wig. The other day she pushed me soooo far with some nonsense that I actually pulled my wig off my head and said, "Do you see this?!?! I am sooo stressed out right now that all my hair is GONE NOW!" She looked me straight in the eye and said, "whatever, you look like an Alien!"
By the time my jaw got back up off the floor she was sleeping and my husband reminded me (calmed me down) that I'm "human" and can't say anything stupid in retaliation. "When she gets up we'll talk to her."
So when she got up I asked her why she said what she said and she replied, "because you look weird and you won't get mad at me so I said it."
Wow, my own kid is bullying me....
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jett Ramone on
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There is a BIG difference between abusing a child and giving them a spanking when they need it. Parents today are soooo different from when I was growing up. They seem to want to be friends with their children instead acting like a parent and disciplining them when they need it.
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Permalink Reply by Oneida on
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Your not scary sometimes a spanky never kills a child its just a wake up call momma dont take no mess
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Permalink Reply by Miss Erica on
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I appreciate all your responses, I honestly felt bad for myself...hearing how all of you put it, I feel so different now!!!
Just a little background: all of my children know about my condition, I also have several other disorders including Lupus. When I started losing my hair, my husband and I sat down with all our children and we were very open and honest. We asked them to be supportive and help out a little more because my condition is worse when I get stressed. Nothing has changed...they are rude, nasty lazy and demanding. It is very exhausting explaining over and over to please remember to be nicer but they are sometimes even worse now. My problem is with discipline. I am always so soft spoken that I let them walk all over me and I was so desparate I think I went for the shock factor!!! It obviously didnt work either, but I completely agree that it was so wrong. I have since talked about it with her and said I freaked out and Im not bald because of her. She apologized...it wasnt sincere it was just because she felt she had too! Oh well...she is afterall, only 7! I think it's time for another family sitdown and try to get through to these kids!
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Permalink Reply by Suzie on
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Miss erica I'm with you 100%. I have 4 kids and love each of them with all my heart. Sadly we live in a world were kids get everything they want, for all those that slate miss erica I say come live a day in her life.
It's not easy being a mum, it don't make you a bad mum to express how you feel, kids are very demanding and sometimes they can push you to far. I know because I have been there.
My heart goes out to you and all I can say is dont beat yourself up....your kids have probably forgot and moved on to their next "want"....you said what you feel and if they give it a thought they will try and behave better for you.
Life isn't always as clear cut as some people make it out to be...I bet your a supper mum and your kids love you to the moon and back...we all have our breaking points!!
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Thank you!!! I have 4 kids too(2 of them are step children). It's definately exhausting, I just need a better approach. There is a fine line between ripping my wig off or letting them walk all over me! I have to find that!
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Permalink Reply by chris for hair on
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You are lucky to have your husband to help you through all this. When one lives with a number of disorders it can be difficult to get anyone to understand how hard life becomes. In my experience, I have Lupus and a number of other things also, no one, not even your close friends can understand how this changes you as a person and that gets very lonely.
I think your daughter will survive your "attack" and hopefully begin to understand how all this has affected you in time. Parents make mistakes, that is a given, and children often do not have compassion or the ability to understand that they are not the center of the world.
What I hear in your posts is that you care about your daughter and how your actions may have impacted her and want to do better in the future. That is all we can ask for.
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Thank you, I definately have learned a lot from this post!
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I am glad to hear that she apologized, but you need to NOT let your children walk all over you. It doesn't sound like your husband is much help with them either. If I had ever disrespected my mother, she would've spanked me, then when my dad got wind of it, he would've spanked again. If you don't stand up and start taking action with them now, just wait until they're teenagers... you think it's bad now... ? If nothing else, then privelges need to be taken away when they don't follow the house rules, help out, or speak in a disrespectful way. I don't mean to be trying to tell you what to do, but it infuriates me when I see CHILDREN acting out and taking advantage of ADULTS, and not being disciplined or corrected.
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Permalink Reply by JimB on
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Well, you did not say old your daughter was when your Alopecia started! Yes, it does matter.
If your Alopecia appeared before she was born then you hid, from her, something you will, unless otherwise found, have for the rest of your life and hers'. So, you should have been going around her without the wig so she could, as she grew, ajust to seeing you with no hair.
If, your Alopecia appeared after her birth, you should have sat down with her, when she was old enough to somewhat understand things, and explained, as best you could, what Alopecia is and the effect it has, and will have, on your life, while, trying as it may, to ensure her she may, or will, not have Alopecia as she grows up.
Sad as it is, sometimes parents forget what is was to be a child growing up. I am sure there were things in your childhood, your parents did not tell you and years later when you found out, you were somewhat upset at them for keeping it from you. And, you tried to think why they did so.
I would encourage you to sit her down, not as mom but as a friend,and tell her about Alopecia and the effects. And, tell her you are sorry for getting upset and you know your should have talked with her about your Alopecia sooner. Tell her you are not upset for what she said but you understand "why" she said it. Then, let her ask questions and you can answer them the best you can.
Now that she knows you have no hair, you should consider going without your wig more when she is around.
Some times the crazist things are the best things to do .....
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Permalink Reply by Cindie on
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Being "upset about something you didn't know" is NO EXCUSE for disrespect!
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Permalink Reply by karma on
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If I ever said something like that to my mom as a child my dad would have shaved my head in a heart beat. On a lighter note my dad lost his teeth in a car accident in his 20's and wore denchers, he used to pull them out in front of my friends and chase us around the house with them, my friends thought he was the coolest dad ever. It's funny how guys can just own themselves and turn what most of us women would call "flaws" into something you didn't think twice about...I never remember my dad's denchers, I only thought about it because of your story
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