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My friend tells me "I have AA because I'm too vain and God is punishing for it by giving me this disease"
I'm pretty mad about this. One of my best friends(which I'm not sure she is anymore)tells me " I have AA because I'm to vain and God is punishing for it by giving me this disease."
I was trying not to tell my friends but I just can't hide it anymore. Since she was one of my best friends I wanted to let her in on it first. At first she was like I'm so sorry! The next day she tells me she has been thinking about it all night and says the line above. I was stocked! I've had AA since I was 9 I guess I was a vain 9 year old!
Just so everyone one knows my friend who told me this does beauty pageants! Oh and also got Botox at 26. Just saying!
I'm so shocked I don't know what to say to her?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kirsteen Forrest on
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What a hurtful comment to make and must have left you very disappointed and disillusioned about you friendship. As "Tallgirl" says maybe the comment says more about how she feels and her mind works than of you. You keep your head held high! Take care! Kiz ; )
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Permalink Reply by Tonia M McCracken on
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Elaine,
OMG This person is not your friend. That is all there is to it. I have had strangers say mean, rude and just plain stupid comments but i think that takes the cake. As for hideing this from people (family, friends or strangers)it has taken me years to feel ok with telling people. There are some people that its just none of their buisness. Those of us dealing with this did nothing wrong and have nothing to be ashamed of. As for this non-friend, She has issues that go way beyond you... also she may just be a B#%$@*!!!! You dont need people like this in your life. friends are ment to lift us up and make us strong. Not pull us down and doubt ourselves.
Your Friend,
Tonia
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Permalink Reply by jose on
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I dont understand why your friend would chose to blame god for everything that happends but i guess people seem to forget about the devil.Put some garlic on your spots and leave it on over night.It will kill the infection in your skin and your immune system will stop attacking your hair follicls.do it till your hair starts growing back.In infection dont go away overnight.
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I agree- that girl has something wrong with her. A normal person would not say that. Your hair loss probably scared the heck out of her because SHE is so vain. She is trying to come up with some reason why it could never happen to her. Easiest thing to do is blame the victim. Her statement shows how shallow she is. I tell people all the time, no one has ever said anything that dumb to me. MOST people have the wisdom and life experience to know that often life isn't fair and that just because something bad happens to you doesn't mean you deserved it. There has to be better people out there to spend your time with than her. Don't hide. I channel (figuratively speaking) Mother Theresa and Audrey Hepburn when I run into rude people. I try to stay calm, gracious, polite, genuine and kind while informing them about the facts of my situation.It makes them look all the worse by contrast.
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Permalink Reply by inverso on
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Hi!
I don't go to church for many years, I had only a slight seasonal infections. When I began my hair fall out, my family also said something like what your friend said. My grandmother repeats, that God is a punishment for me is that I don't go to church every week on the masses.
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Permalink Reply by Elaine on
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All my other friends are saying the same thing you all are saying. They told me I need to fire her as my friend. Lol
I did use the maybe it's karma on her the other day. I felt bad about doing that but after what she said to me I had to. She walked right into it. I'm not going to tell you the whole story but her whole world fell apart the day after she made this statement to me. What she is dealing with right now I wouldn't wish on any one. It's not medical but she had an eye opening.
Thank you everyone this site has been great! It's nice to talk with people who understand what I'm dealing with :)
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It is spooky sometimes! I had an aquaintance totally embarrass me at a party. Like I mentioned, I tried to be as calm and gracious as I could and let the contrast speak for itself. I left the party shortly afterward. Later that night, she tore the ligaments in her ankle just getting into her car. Don't mess with Karma! :-)
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Permalink Reply by Cindie on
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Christians can say some of the most hateful, meanest things sometimes, and use their Bibles to try to "beat other folks into submission." I was raised as a "Christian"....in the "black church..." And I find a lot of Christianity cruel and scary (with the exception of Mother Teresa.....a true christian.
I am sorry that these things were said to you, but I am not surprised.
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Your right don't mess with karma! I'm much happier with my AA then she is with her husband right now. She calls me all the time to ask me how I would handle what she is dealing with. I have a idea but I'm too mad to help her right now. Maybe one day I will get over it. I would never say something like what she said to me to her. Friends don't do that!
I know I'm so worried about the cancer comments :/ I guess I really shouldn't care what strangers think. I still have hair to hide it but I'm about to shave it soon so I can get a vacuum wig. I have a human hair wig that I tested out this weekend. I was at an event with lots of people I know. I wasn't sure how it would go but it went great! No one knew it was a wig. Everyone just asked me if I got my hair cut. This event made me feel better about making the move to a vacuum wig.
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Andre, we must be related. Sounds like something my crazy family would do and believe!
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Permalink Reply by Christine on
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Oh Elaine, I'm so sorry that this person(who is not your friend)said something so hurtful. I've experienced some painful moments myself from "friends" things like "it's no big deal, it's just hair" when your struggling it's not such a good thing to hear, also lots of suggestions that come off feeling cold, lots of comments and complaints about their own hair, and they don't always get the difficulties I have with windy days and not seeming to have much empathy. It hurts and makes you feel alone. But, this went beyond anything! God is not punishing you for anything! He loves you more than you can imagine, and he calls you beautiful, and his beloved! Obviously this woman doesn't know that, and for that I feel sorry for her. I'm so upset now.....I'm going to be up all night thinking about it! ((hugs))
Christine
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