Alopecia World
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Needs your advice to reach the stage of acceptance
Hello to all of you who read me.
Not all have the same problem of losing our hair. This is very hard for some and others easier to accept. I am one of those who do not accept! How did you accept those? Give me advice to accept that I am trying to lose my hair. I tried .... Since I was 16 ... I started to notice a change. My hair became still differ by their texture and I always lost ... And now they are made very end ... and clairseme.Je is so hard ca ... This affects my life .... j 'I wore wigs and I stopped for a moment .. 2 years ... But yesterday I had to go for a ... this time it's harder because I no longer choose to wear ... Before it was more a choice .. There's only me at this moment who knew. And it could not be. But now it is defferent. It sounds a lot ... So I is not the choice of opting for a wig. I have a lot of pain and stress to the idea of starting my new job on January 3 next year. Here being a small town everyone know. The judgment of others affect me beaucoup.Moi not accept that ...
I hope to be able to continue ....
're strong!
I await your advice! ;)
Thank you!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Lexi on
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Be oh so careful with anyone glueing anything to your head. I just typed my whole saga, then my new computer shut down, and I lost all. So I will make this now short. Had an experience years ago, long before my hair loss saga started. I just never liked my hair, wanted thick luxurious locks ...like I didn't have. Paid $1900 for what she called a hair integration system. She cut a chunck of my hair to match it with what she ordered. She assured me it would look great. It took forever to arrive. Finally, it did. Didn't match my hair, not color, not texture, nothing. She assured me again I would love it once it was on. I really didn't find any piece of my hair that she "integrated". She just piled my hair up and glued this monstrosity on my head. She said it would take getting used to because my hair was so fine and thin. I had to keep that thing on for 3 days because it was a weekend and being closed Sunday and Monday. I washed it, it took 4 hours to dry. My hair would take maybe an hour to air dry. I was miserable. Tuesday I went and made her take it off my head. She wouldn't give me the money back, said she would order again. I said I didn't want to try again. I wasn't happy with any of it. She would only offer me 2 wigs from her shop, no money back. I wanted to take her to court but felt I wouldn't win. It would probably cost me more $$, so I got two pieces from her shop, that I really never wore. I have many wigs in my closet that seemed right at the time, but were a mistake. That is why I am so hesitant now to spend any appreciable money on a wig I am not 100% sure of, and honestly, when can one be that sure of anything? I think reading your post to me, we seem so similar. And a hair piece, I thought about that also, but it wouldn't match my hair at all, and probably just look like a dead rat sitting on top of my head, and maybe blow off in the wind !! I don't have enough hair to clip it onto. Also, I have Ophiasis ...no hair on the nape of my neck and underneath. So that would't work.
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Permalink Reply by Zoe on
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Wow that experience would have been horrible. I can just imagine how disappointed you felt especially after you waited so long. Because of your advice i have decided to bring along a gf. She is always very honest with me. Thank you. I was a bit shy to ask her but after reading your posts I decided that I needed to bring her along. Its just so sad that wig manufacturers dont get us. What id really like is hair that isnt too thick because if it were too thick it would look too fake on me. I wonder why its so hard to get it right. How are you concealing your hair loss these days lexi if you are at all? Hope you're doing well.
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Permalink Reply by LilyBell*Murphy'sLawLuvsMe on
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I had so many wigs too that adorned my closet shelves - that is why I went custom - did not want to have to do it - but I just kept wasting my money on the all the others. My first wig was all hand tied, and about $1000. The lady took a sample of my hair and swore it would match my odd shade of red. When it came in it neither matched or fit. It was huge! And brown - maybe with a hint of red but nowhere near my shade of light red.
My mom purchased this wig for me and I did not know that the wig lady talked her into paying cash by offering her a $100 off -- so there could be no charge back with the credit card company. The entire time we were there she spoke about all her vol work with cancer patients and talked about the bible and how devastated she was when her mom died (I started to lose my hair when my dad passed suddenly).
I guess my mom felt she could trust her. When we went to get the wig and I told her it was not the right color she just said - oh well you look good in it and wigs are not returnable!.
I wore that itchy, hot, way too dark wig for months - usually ending up crying after as it actually hurt my head and was so big I needed to add tons of clips to keep it on my head. I tried to switch to synthetics and while they looked great they itched me something awful. More online ordering - nothing fit - they were all hot- and they all itched - so in desperation I went custom - by then I knew exactly what I wanted. Thank goodness my wig maker knew what she was doing and I love that wig - well as much as I can love any hair that is not growing out of my own head. It is not overly hot and does not itch.
I have since ordered a second wig from her and am just as pleased. It is very expensive - but I was desperate. She makes the wigs right in DC - well her staff does. I liked that if there was an issue she could fix it. In fact she took my original awful wig and took it apart and made it fit my head. I still dont like it color wise but I do wear it from time to time mostly so my mom will not feel like she wasted her money and at least it fits now!
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Permalink Reply by chris for hair on
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It is so sad to hear all these comments, yet I know that all are true. People can be cruel, sellers will lie, and many centers out there want to take advantage of you. But not all...
My suggestions would be to investigate the seller first, then make a consultation appt. Then do not make a quick decision as to whether you believe they have your interest at heart. Wait, let them prove to you they are working to find/create the best possible product before you sign on. If necessary ask to speak with other clients. (Not many will let us take pictures to show, but are willing to tell about their experiences with us)Then try to make your decision based on how you feel the provider is working to find the best product. In my case I tell clients that they are not committed to buy until they see the piece on their head. If it has to become stock, that is ok with me. I can use back stock as samples for other clients.
Right now there are so many products available, I spend at least 6-10 hours investigating all the lines I carry. Usually if someone tells you they manufacture themselves, they are lying. We all have companies that will put our label on their pieces to make it look as if it is our own line...
There are many smaller companies that manufacture hair OEM and put our label on it. I prefer to use companies that have developed their product and I know the quality I can expect from them. It may cost me more, but I have no surprises when the piece comes in.
I noticed Zoe That you said your supplier was "relatively" reputable. To me, that is not good enough. 99% of the suppliers out there are not reputable, they just have a good selling strategy.
Find someone that you like the look of their hair and ask who does it. If you keep your eyes open when you shop for example, you will be amazed at how much added hair you see. If someone really looks good, just say "I love your hair. who do you use?" You will be surprised at how many people are flattered and will tell you it is added hair. If they give you a name, call for the consultation. Try not to rush into things, there is a lot to learn.
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Yes, so sad, I didn't have the knowledge and where-with-all to investigate the person I was buying from, but also, not much to choose from here, as in most places. Yes, she did put here own label on the wigs in her shop, like as it they were made by her own shop. I didn't know any better, not having access to any reference material and knowing nothing about wigs. I just went into the shop blindly trusting and got taken to the cleaners. Now the other mistakes in my closet, well, they were all partly at least my own fault. But also people in the shops all just want to sell you something. They are in business to make money. They will convince you that you look wonderful in the wig. Once you buy, and walk out the door, it is YOURS. No refunds.
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Look through the women (and men) on this site. There are so many that are just beautiful with or without hair.
What society says about anything is mostly WRONG, and true beauty comes from having a strong spirit. If you allow others to judge that fact that you have no hair as something bad, you will be letting them judge you on everything you do and say, and then you will no longer be YOU. We are all uniquely beautiful when we embrace whatever life gives us. Grow from this and in time you will see it as a gift.
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That's some really good advice there. As Lexi said unfortunately its hard to tell who is good and who isnt. Most places wont be able to get you to try on your piece until you've put a deposit on it. You get to try on samples which are a different colour and texture. I wish I could speak to someone from Australia who could give me some advice on reputable wig/hair piece sellers.
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I am back looking at Amy Gibson's hair. I finally got a priceline and really, no so bad. However, I can get limited information so far, but they do want me to call to talk to someone there. I was about to do this today, but my mind just went blank. I really couldn't think of all the things I wanted to ask. I will be calling, I just wish they would answer more via email. I can do a more efficient job that way. I truly wonder why more people on this site have never gotten a piece from her????
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Permalink Reply by Pat Crotty on
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I've had alopecia for more than 40 years and the meaning of the term "acceptance" has really never been that clear to me. I know it annoys some people because it can imply something like "giving up" or "rolling over" for the condition. The only related term that I have found a definition for is "adjustment to" which has been defined in relation to having a "visible difference"
Thus ..."...adjusting to a visible difference means having the skills and mind-set
enabling you to get on with your life without the difference being a barrier to
living as you would like".
Makes sense to me.
AASA Newsletter page 5 http://home.vicnet.net.au/~aasa/2012FebruaryNewsletter-1.pdf
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I'm from Portarlington near Geelong Zoe....Where are you?
Pat
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Permalink Reply by Dom on
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Eight years ago my 5th episode of AA began. All the other episodes my hair fully regrew.
This time it kept falling out eek.
I did a LOT of reading in 2005 LOTS.
I made some assumptions in 20051 there is NO cure for AU.
2 there is NO treatment for alopecia.
3 so called treatments are not worth the time or effort of trying
4 the treatment market is infected with bogus products and hype e.g calosol and mr gonens herbs.
5 i will have to adapt to having no hair
6 i have no other options.2012 eight years on i am so glad i was pragmatic and "real". I saved myself so much self pity and wasting time.
Every aasumption i made was not only TRUE. It was FACT.
2005 is the same for people with AU as 2012.
My advice is adapt and either wear a wig or dont + screw what anybody thinks about you alopecia.
Alopecia has no cure or treatment and too many people hide away and waste years. I was lucky i had remission but i had AA.There was no treatmentt for alopecia in 1979 (1st episode)and nothing has changed in 2012.
I doubt there will be any change in 2013 or 2023.Just LIVE!
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Hi Dom,
YES!! There's alot to be said for pragmatism!!
You got there quickly.......lots of people don't get there so fast and my guess is, if there were more compassionate support programs for those, who for whatever reason, are stuck in the slow lane, soooo much suffering would be prevented.... as you have rightly pointed out.
The Alopecia Areata Support Association (home.vicnet.net.au/~aasa) which works in Victoria Australia is focussed on this goal (I'm on the committee).
Cheers
Pat
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