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What do you say to people when they ask U why you wear a bandana, hat or wig? Do you tell them the truth? Is there acceptance?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by JeffreySF on
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I tell them the truth. That I have alopecia. Is there acceptance by whom? Society? Acceptance comes from within.
Jeffrey
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Permalink Reply by Sybil on
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We've bought Olivia hats. She's losing more and more every day. I plan on telling people exactly why she's wearing a hat or a bandana when the times comes. If they don't want to know..don't ask.
There will always be people who want to know YOUR business..be open and honest..hey...THEY asked..just lay it all out.
I am a bit of an *in your face* kind of person so don't ask me how I'm doing..you may just regret it!
If they can't accept you for who you are then they aren't worth knowing in the first place.
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Permalink Reply by Blessed Soul on
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Well i usually ignore if strangers ask. I m not comfortable telling about Alopecia coz first of all they dont understand it & secondly, they show pity on me which i dont like.
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Permalink Reply by Carol on
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Most people assume it's cancer or a personal choice and when I tell them I have alopecia they're all like alo-what? Then I go on like the broken record I am and explain it in a general sort of way. Some people are just like "oh" and that's good enough for them and others want to know all about it and it quickly turns into a one hour conversation. I don't mind educating people about it and there is a certain amount of acceptance. There are an increasing amount of people that do know what alopecia is though. 2% doesn't sound like a very big number but when your talking a bout millions of people that number gets pretty big. We certainly aren't alone.
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A friend tends to tell them the truth, I think this is the right approach, it's honest, and the peron you tell it to should accept you the way you are, if they don't meaning that if they reject you they are clearly not worth it, don't hang around with people who see this as a problem....
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Permalink Reply by Dark Light on
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Yeah, I'm resurrecting an old post.... and probably going off topic. Having a bad week. Please forgive me in advance for ranting. :-P
When out in public wearing a bandanna or wig, I sometimes get the rudest questions. From other wig wearers, I get asked why I shaved or why someone my age wears a wig. Or I might get asked about "my cancer treatment", have strangers reach out to comfort me (ugh, like I need it) or tell me their sad stories about relatives beating or dying of cancer. I get so angry. I am not dying! Unlike their [insert familial relationship here], my hair will never grow back. I try to be nice and tell them the truth, but some times it gets on my nerves. The audacity and lack of manners is shocking.
As for acceptance...
I've found that most people would prefer that an alopecian woman cover up,... not because she would feel or look better, but to make them more at ease. Example: My job has forbidden me to wear headscarves. My only option (according to them) was to wear a wig. So I've been going bald. Well, it was either that or give them my whole medical history, which I feel they are in no way entitled to. Then my school took the opposite view. They are ok with me not wanting to wear a wig, but want me to cover up with a scarf. (This situation has yet to be resolved. I have a meeting with them about this discriminatory request. Wish me luck.)
No one has asked me what I would prefer (wig, scarf, bald) or how I would be more comfortable. Everyone seems to want to impose on me so that they don't have to deal with my baldness. I don't get it. I have to live with this forever. I would never ask someone missing a limb to wear a prosthetic because it would make me feel more comfortable around him/her. This is as frivolous as telling someone else what color underwear to put on. Does it really matter? Does hair (or lack thereof) affect my intelligence? My ability to perform my job? My ability to learn? Do I not get a choice in the matter (without having to produce a medical letter)?
I did not choose to go bald. This isn't a fashion statement or crusade. Wigs/scarves are not for everyone. Acceptance is something I wish we had.... but as a society, we have so far to go. :-(
/stepping off the soap box
Thanks for listening to my vent. I feel much better now! ;-)
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You would not believe the positive support I have received from people when I dont wear my wig which is always up until 4 days ago. All I wear is a hat of some sort. Most people will come up to me with well wishes. But I think that it actually empowers others in there own life. They see me out with my husband and children- laughing and having a great time. I think most of them would die if this were to happen to them but they see that it isnt the end of the world. Most of the time they will ask me if I have cancer and offer well wishes. When I tell them thank you but no I actually have AU they want to know more.
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