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The rude hurtful things that people say
Having this dz is so horrible....granted I have androgenetic alopecia so I should be thankful for once having hair but people say the most hurtful things at times. In a really bad fight with someone very close to me who in return calls me a bald headed b@@@@ , why would this person ever do that to me....I get that we all say things that we don't mean when we are mad but to say that to me is the most HURTFUL thing in this world u could do. Obviuosly this has hurt me so deep inside and I have cried all day and night becuz of this....is this really how this person really feels towdard me. I am so beside myself sometimes I just want to give up. This dz has caused me so much pain and sorrow in my life and has caused me sooo much depression. Its not fair I used to feel good about myself and loved the way I onced looked. I hate having this dz no one understands unless you are living it. I hate what this has done to my life sometimes I just feel worthless and this dz has ruined my life. I just wish it all would go away. Im soooooo hurt. I know you all understand like no one else doea....just venting to get it off my chest.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by DanT on
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It fucking sucks, it's like loseing a part of yourself, I know how you feel
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Permalink Reply by Melanie on
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People says things they don't always mean in the heat of an argument - try to speak to this person and explain that you felt hurt being called a bald headed b@@@@ - or if you think that will only open to more name calling just say yeah you're right I am bald well spotted Sherlock and as for the B@@@@@ part tell them they haven't seen nothing yet!
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Don't give them the opportunity to pick up your weak spot, stand strong and you have won! They are probably jealous/envious in somr way and this was the only way they could attack you - maybe they are feeling sorry for what they said and maybe they will apologize if not then you do no need this person in your life.
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Permalink Reply by Kristine on
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I hear you. I understand you too. But we, I have alopecia too can not give AA and negative people such power to throw in the flag and say I quit or this has ruined my life. Because it hasn't. We are still here and we still have so much to give and recieve.This is when we need to count our blessings and you know what if your friend wants to say such hurtful words like that guess what, you do not need aholes like that in your path anyway. Clear out the negative and move on sister. Don't let it hold you back. The best revenge is to pull up your boots and keep walking sister. Keep smiling cause you know what your beautiful inside n out. Peace,Kristine.
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Permalink Reply by BTB (John) on
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It just sucks and you should say so, I can never understand your loss but if its anything like my wife went through it is so hard and so depressing. Never minimize your feelings they are yours and they are valid.
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Permalink Reply by bertha price on
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Hi Andrea:
You are right this is so horrible and so painful. Know that the person who did this to you has her own problems. She has her own cross to bear; she is not doing a good job coping with her problems and now she is attempting to take them out on you because she thinks that you are the most vulnerable person in the room (the “bald woman”). She is trying to use you as an easy target. I wished that I had understood why and how mean people could be years ago or had someone to understand me and to give me advise like here on AW. Forget about this person and focus on being the best for you. Continue to develop your mind and your wisdom. In the long-run and in the short-run, what is in your head will be far more important than what is on your head. Many people feed off of what they believe are other people's shortcomings in order to validate themselves. Go and define yourself and try your very best to do all the things that you have ever dreamed of. I have had alopecia for 41 years, since I was 10 years old. People in life have in so many ways been so cruel, but I am still standing and still have a love for me and I am still trying to find ways to improve on me and my alopecia. Cry if you need to and then get up to face the day and think of ways to fullfil your dreams. Peace to you my sister.
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Permalink Reply by Andrea on
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Gosh you guys, loving all of these responses... so uplifting and TRUE. Thanks to everyone, this site has been such a blessing to me!!!!HUGS
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Permalink Reply by Nicole on
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Andrea, you have come to the right place. What your friend said to you was horrible. I have not personally experienced any loved one calling me names or saying anything hurtful like that. Going through any type of alopecia can be depressing. I have my faith, family, and Alopecia World to thank for helping me cope with this disease. I suggest your first step in dealing with your alopecia is looking at yourself in the mirror everyday and say "I Love U". The more you show yourself love, the more positive people you will surround yourself with. Trust me, I started seeing the negative people being replaced with the positive ones when I started loving myself more.
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Permalink Reply by Natasha Gehrke on
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When people are mad they will say hurtful things because they want to hurt you, but that does not mean that they really feel that way. I know I am guilty of saying things just to hurt people. This is why I watch what I am when I am mad now. I know how bad you can hurt someone with words and it may feel good to hurt them but you will regret it later. I understand how you feel about your looks. Its hard to have something so drastic happen. I always feel a little guilty because there are worse things that could happen to us. In the end it's up to you to decide that you are still beautiful. Having alopecia is hard and can cut you down but it can also teach you strength. You are better than letting something like hair get in your way of life. Remember that you are beautiful, you deserve the best, and the more comfortable and confident you are the better. People are willing to see what you want them to see. If you are confident then other people will see you that way. Set an example for others. Show the people around you what a strong person you are! If you can overcome this you can overcome any obstacle that you may come across and you deserve nothing less than to reach for the stars!
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Permalink Reply by Cindie on
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Honey, when "friends" say these things to you, it isn't out of anger. They are just using tht as an excuse to say what they "really and truly" feel about you.
Cut her loose......
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Permalink Reply by BlueandPink on
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People are imperfect, and regardless of your illness when people want to be mean they will be. But what matters is how the person fixed problem. If he readily apologized for his mistake then you should accept it. If he did not bring it up, you should tell him how it made you fell and how it has affected you. Listen to what he has to say.....and if hes not sincerely apologetic ...I would have written the person off my friend list....Life is short what doesnt kill you makes you stronger......this disease SUCKS, its a pain in the @$$, its time consuming, and annoying.....
What helps me cope ...when i start to feel bad about myself is thanking & thinking!......I thank God that I didnt lose my mind (b/c im about to graduate with a BS), or that Im not disabled missing my hands (because I want to be a Dentist), and then I think how someone who might be a wheelchair bound or missing both their arms, or have sever burns to their face.... would prolly tell me they would love to have my issue.....
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You are right.... I am blessed to be happy and healthy otherwise.... however sometimes I still get caught up in my hair battle with bouts of depression. Its just difficult when you step outside.....look on tv or in magazines and so many beautiful women. I hope that one day I will over come this but I am honestly just not there yet. I hope one day to be comfortable in my own skin. I believe that is why I take things so personnel.
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