I just flew out to see my favorite sister - the one closest in age to me, and I am SOOOO sad and disappointed.  She treated me like I was dirty, or diseased and contagious.  I explained all about alopecia before I went, but she still wouldn't hug me, wouldn't borrow my sweater, wouldn't even touch me!  Anyone else experience this reaction?  And what did you do about it?

Views: 1869

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

She doesn't understand what alopecia is.  Her behavior is of someone who thinks she is going to catch from you.  She doesn't get it is an autoimmune condition and she would only get it if she is predisposed from her own genetic makeup not from you.

Give her time.

Yes!  I will give her time.  I love her far too dearly to let her go.  Maybe someday she'll get it and she won't be afraid of me.  Right now my head looks awful - big bald spots with thin, wispy hair.  It would likely look much better if I just shaved the hair that's left.  I can't blame her too much, I guess.  She is probably trying to cope with it - just like me!  I don't go out in public without a wig, but she saw the way I look beneath the wig! 

I agree with Paris. Give her some time to adjust, and hopefully she'll come around. I don't agree with what some people are saying here, and speaking negatively of your sister because of her misconceptions.  People don't act like that because they are bad people, they act like that because they just don't know, or are having trouble coping with the shock of change. We need to give them time to adjust, just like we have to give ourself time to adjust. 

When I lost my hair I talked to my family about the deeper issues like what the disorder is and how it effects people, the positive ways I was going to work on coping, and then also involved them in lighthearted subjects, like asking their opinions on wigs, hats, scarves and stuff they might think are "my style". That sort of helped bring things out in the open, so there wasn't really any kind of misconception left, and let them know I would be open to talking about it with them. 

Shave it off....you'll look better, and feel better, too.  And there's nothing wrong with wearing a "beanie" cap when you are inside.  I wear them all the time.  Bought a few in dark brown to match my skin tone, but I have them in all colors of the rainbow, too, to match my pajamas, robes, and nightgowns.  And they'll keep your bald head warm, too.

Omg how sad for you. I would tell her how the way she acted made you feel. Shes obviously shocked,not making excuses for her, but it sounds like she was selfishly thinking of herself and not you. So I would either call , write or message her and tell her how hurt you felt and how sad and angry you were. Then, if she didn't reply positively that would be that. She'd be out of my life. I only have positive people in my life, I dont have time for haters.. even if they are family
What an absolutely vile sister you have my dear. Besides having a daughter who has Alopecia, I also have a sister who is HIV positive. I saw her for the first time after her diagnosis in 2012 and I was amazed at how my siblings (7 in total) were all so loving and supportive. That is what family is about. The support I have received and continue to receive regarding my daughter is absolutely incredible. Please surround yourself with supportive people. If at all you decide to tell her about how you felt, please forgive her.

I would cut off my arm for a family like yours, Dark Girl.  Peace and blessings to all of you.

Just know that not everyone is that nice. Even family. My mother felt embarrassed being out in public with me bald for the longest time. In time your sister will adjust.. or she won't. It's not your concern, though. Try to remember that you need to take care of yourself, not other people at this time.

Thanks!  Great advise!

Please don't feel bad, try to find an in person support group it will make all the difference!!! I loved and honored my late father, he would have been 100 this year had he lived past 89, but he would look at me like I was a leeper and was ashamed for me to be around the family, I have a son who would not carry the picture I had made for him by a professional photographer, and I was wearing my best wig! please be gentle with yourself and if you believe in a higher source PRAY. u can email me or join my face book friends-my name is Sharon Blount and my email is sharon595@live.com    I go to professional counseling and a psychiatrist for help and believe me it is worth it if u can afford it. remember u are worth it

I love your gentle answer.  Thank you!

Life is short. Move on......I did. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.

RSS

Disclaimer

Any mention of products and services on Alopecia World is for informational purposes only; it does not imply a recommendation or endorsement by Alopecia World. Nor should any statement or representation on this site be construed as professional, medical or expert advice, or as pre-screened or endorsed by Alopecia World. Alopecia World is not responsible or liable for any of the views, opinions or conduct, online or offline, of any user or member of Alopecia World.

© 2024   Created by Alopecia World.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service