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Why would she do that?
The last 8 months, I have lost more and more hair.
I had gotten it cut very short and a neighbor had commented that it looked pretty good short.
I haven't seen her in quite awhile and I was outside getting the mail. I'm 5'1' and she's about 5'8". She walks over to me and says, "let me see your hair" and I said 'no' and she just kept insisting.
I usually don't leave the house without my extensions, but I was just running out for a second.
I believe that she WANTED to make me feel bad. Why would someone be so oblivious to my feelings? It's just such a cruel thing to do and in the sunlight, all you really see is scalp.
Honestly, I just don't understand people sometimes.
I held back from calling attention to her over-bleacheded blonde hair that looked like straw.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Debs on
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This is very bullying behaviour. In future I would not engage with this woman, you can just nod and say hello then just go about your business you really don't need the stress of interacting with her. So sorry you had this experience
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Permalink Reply by Tovah on
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Thanks, Debs,
I didn't know if I was just being overly sensitive or what. The reason I mention our heights is that she just had such a great view of all my bald spots.
I said 'no' and she didn't care.
Now I don't care to ever speak to her again. I feel she was setting me up.
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Permalink Reply by Cindie on
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So sorry, Tovah. You may be correct in that she was "setting you up." Women are mean and catty like that more often than we want to admit.
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Thank you, Cindie,
I find that my feelings change by the day. Sometimes I just really am ok with it, but for some reason, it seemed like such an invasion. I believe, honestly, that she wanted to make me feel bad.
Oh well.
Also, you are right about women being mean and catty, You would think that they would be the most supportive, but they're not.
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Permalink Reply by Sheryl on
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I'm sorry to hear you had to be subjected to someone who was very rude not to mention insensitive...there just isn't any excuse and the fact that she is your neighbour makes it worse. Please try not to let this affect you going outside...
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Thank you, Sheryl.
Actually, it has affected my going out, I really don't feel like dealing any more with idiots, I'll just put on a hat.
It was just mean. I know the difference between concern and mean.
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
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Put NO BULLIES ALLOWED signs on your door and car window facing her house.
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Thank you, Tallgirl.
I like the idea of the sign, however, bullies are bullies. I would really think that a woman in her 50's would have more sensitivity by then.
She knew exactly what she was doing. She actually almost seemed to revel in the huge bald spot on my head.
I'm not being paronoid. I really do think she enjoyed it.
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Permalink Reply by Donna on
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Hello, I'm new to Alopecia world web site. I just love it! I'm hearing from people who are able to share feelings I've felt over the years. I believe it is natural to feel sensitive because this is a sensitive disease. We endure the stares, questions and suggestions, and some of it goes down ok, and other times it don't. Plus we endure our own questions and our ownselves staring in the mirror. I am Boldly Bald, and I just bought my first T-shirt! I can't wait to wear it, and also I don't think I've ever feel comfortable with the stares, but I'm not trying tobe It's the smaller minds that say the stupid things. .
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Hi Donna:
This is really the only forum that I feel I can be completely honest about my feelings which go up and down throughout the day.
Good for you for going Boldly Bald. I'm not quite that evolved yet, but I may have no choice in the matter.
Looking in the mirror is really something since I can almost count the hairs on my head.
I keep paying the 100's of dollars in new products a month.
Anyway, nice to meet you!
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Permalink Reply by femmemuscle on
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the title: "Why would she do that?"
The reply: "Well, because she's a jack as**"
Sorry that happened to you, OP. What she did was just mean. Females (not WOMEN, they are a much more mature breed), have to feel good about themselves by finding something wrong with the "competition". And for an insecure female? every one of the same sex is competition.
Thus, she feels she now has "One-ups-manship" on you because of your hair? No. She doesn't.. though, because she is so shallow, she may feel like she does.
You have a lot more going for you than she ever will.. she knows that, which is why she did it.
There's an old french saying: "If you know your enemy will steal your pig - give it to them"...
The next time she wants to "see" your hair, let her have a long good look. Explain to her your condition, and hell, be proud of it. Thus, there will be no more secrets - and she can say whatever the hell she wants. She's going to tell everyone in the neighborhood anyway - if she hasn't already. She will no longer have any power of you.
Or, if she's THAT interested in your hair, you can pull a 360 and say: "Hey, let's take a look at yours first"..
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Hi Femmemuscle:
Thank you for your reply.
She had seen me a few months ago when I had gotten my hair cut so shortl. I had been open about the part of losing my hair and so, I just cut it all off.
What gives people the right to come up to you and say 'let me see your hair'. I'm still really angry because I know that she wanted me to feel bad.
It's very difficult for me to have people looking at my scalp. Horror going to a stylist.
I know that people have it rough everywhrere and I do not compare myself to people who are living in shelters or can't feed their family.
But, that's the thing with alopecia. You feel bad asking for help when it's 'just hair". This is what is said by people with lots of hair.
There was this 'friend' I had and while we were sitting talking, she said to me "sorry Tovah, but it's just difficult to work with my hair because it's so thick.
Anyway, femmemuscle,I thank you so much for your thoughtful reply.
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