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Comment by Ms. E on July 14, 2012 at 3:53pm

Jackie,
I've pretty much always worn scarves/headwraps, even when I could still do something with my hair. I wore my first wig less than 10 years ago and loved it. I began to like having any kind of look/color I wanted and expressing my many personalities. :D

Even though I, and perhaps others knew they were wigs (some people claim they didn't know--hmmm...)I wanted them to at least feel like my own, so I happened to run into my old hairdresser (from another era and city) who I'd have to cut/shape the wigs to my face. We both had a lot of fun with that!

Right now I'm just tired of the "cover-up" and want to be FREE!
OPTIONS for me are the key to happiness in life.

Play with the wig until it feels right, or at least okay for you. I'd suggest doing so in a wig store though so you'll have an idea what it looks like before actually purchasing it.

From my experience, and what I've even read, I think we all go through phases, and should just do what we feel at any given time. However when that feeling comes to make a shift--do it!
I'm so grateful for the wealth of experience and support I've found here.

Also check out videos on youtube for women with alopecia, and women wearing bald/shaven heads. I just found one by JoAnn Gray last night which was really inspiring. It's one thing to see someone once they're intentionally all shaven up, but another thing to see the often "painful" realilty of the untouched non-growth areas we have no choice or control over.
Also check out Sonya Renee Taylor.

We've got the Power! :D

Comment by Ms. E on July 14, 2012 at 3:37pm

Moonflower, Thank you.
Yes, I've realized it's more about them, and the "scarey" part is that my circle of friends (vs. acquaintances) is already very small, now I've been hit with the insight/reality of how even those few are really living "superficially".

Two of the non-responses,however were my godsons who are in their 20's and 30's. So I figure with them it's a "mother image" thing--although one of them is shaven bald with a tattoo on his head. He jokingly told me now all I've got to do is get a tattoo. I told him I just might and he could tell people he took after his mother. :D

Comment by moonflower on July 14, 2012 at 6:52am

Ms. E, I'm sorry about the mediocre responses you have been receiving from friends and family. I have come to realize, in a society that worship youth and beauty our baldness may be uncomfortable for some. It either forces them to question their own self-esteem or it "unearths undesirable qualities they would rather keep hidden. My mom always use to say, when people react to you in negative way, it is RARELY ever about you and mostly about them".

In good ole' sweet time you will do what is right as you move with the ebb and flow of this journey. For me, I still get nervous before I step outside. My heart races, but I take a few deep breaths and before I know it, by mid-day I forget that I am bald. Until of course I get a few weird stares lol, but I brush them off and continue.

I just want to say, the baldness seems to enhance that beautiful bright mega-watt smile of yours :). Keep your nead up!

Comment by Ms. E on July 14, 2012 at 2:24am

For some reason I'm just now seeing gthe comments/compliments from you Jackie and Brenda--thank you!I needed that tonight. :D

It's been an interesting week as I've gotten all kinds of responses from friends on facebook (both virtual and real-life); however people with whom I'm more emotionally connected, and actually sent e-mails to, I've received more "neutral" or non-respones, which I've taken as "if you don't have anything positive to say don't say anything".

I still haven't gone out bareheaded yet (except for on the balcony to catch a little sun) but am now a little frustrated with trying to find the best way to keep it smooth. (See my blog).

Anyway, anybody wanna "chat" I'll be checking in.

Comment by Ms. E on July 7, 2012 at 12:23am

Thanks Nicole! (:

Comment by Nicole on July 6, 2012 at 11:46pm

Ms. E I am so proud of you for having the couraging to expose your beauty how you want. Can't wait to see the pics.

Comment by Ms. E on July 6, 2012 at 11:34pm

Okay, I did it--well almost...

My cousin, whose more like a brother to me is in town for the weekend. We went out for brunch and I told him about the shave. We talked about it (all the girls on that side of family are known for having a full head of hair--including me at one time). When we came home we looked at a video of Sonya Renee Taylor and I showed him photos of some of the beautiful Black women I've collected who wear "the shave". He had positive remarks about them all but I still wouldn't take my scarf off.

So after he left I took my first pictures and was actually kind of pleased with them so I text a couple to him via phone! *o*
He responded saying "Beautiful Black Woman...and Proud".

I'm now about to upload a few here and on Facebook.
I also sent an e-mail "announcement" to friends informing them that I have a new look, along with photos, to prepare them for my appearance. (I think I'll send it to my neighbors too :)

Exhaling!!! :D

Comment by Nicole on July 6, 2012 at 1:04pm

BrendaW, I do the same thing when people come over to my house. Going bald outside the house is not an option for me because I look at it as an hairstyle and I do not have the right shape of head to go bald. Just like certain hairstyles & color I won't wear because I don't like the way it looks on me. If I had a head shape like Amber Rose, then I would go bald.

Comment by Nicole on July 6, 2012 at 9:48am

Letting the scarf go whether it's inside or outside the house is about being bold, seeing the true beauty inside & outside, and having confidence to be the true you who God meant for you to be.

Comment by Ms. E on July 5, 2012 at 10:59pm

Wow! Kudos to you too Brenda! (:
Not even that many people have seen me bare-headed.
When I took my scarf off I even asked my dog "are you looking at my head" *o*

Let's keep one another posted about our experiences.

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