I’m in limbo. Not a fun place to be. The large bald spot on the left side is surrounded by dark roots, giving my head the appearance of an ‘8’ ball . There are patches everywhere else; too many not to shave my head unless I want to look like the creature from the crypt. Not much in the way of choices there either. The state of my facial hair falls along similar lines. One side is nearly baby butt smooth while the other still clings to the remnants of what could be considered a beard. My… Continue

The steam rose from my second cup of coffee as I sat at the table composing the day’s “to do” list. The day was far too new for the sun to have risen. Nevertheless, the skies were bright with the anger of the approaching storm and the house echoed with the resounding claps of thunder. The door from my youngest daughter’s room swung open and out strode my sleepy eyed princess into the kitchen. Fourteen going on 30, still a child but not. The thunder, her nemesis from childhood, had rocked her… Continue

My oldest daughter graduated from high school this weekend. I’m so very proud of her. My Mom sat next to me during the ceremony. At one point, Mom reminded me that she and my Dad were married a little more than 6 months after their high school graduation. I swallowed hard, realizing my first born, the little girl who snuggled in my arms as I read her fairy tails before bed, was now all grown up.



The ceremony was filled with pomp and circumstance. Most of the speeches were no more to… Continue

Week 2 since I shaved. Life goes on. What was once considered change is now the accepted norm. Yet, the thought still lingers…how much longer will this continue? The German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once penned "If we have our own why of life, we can bear almost any how." The ‘how’ is self evident…my ‘why’ is my two teenage children.



Good times or bad, I need be a positive role model for my children. I dare not wax impatient for fear of the unintentional lesson provided.… Continue

Day 7 with the new hairless do. The response has been better than expected. Most have been complimentary; some have shown surprise; only the village idiot went someplace he shouldn’t…something about how I should tell folks my hair loss was due to chemo. I could hear the sighs and mutterings of those who were within earshot of the ignorant suggestion. Discretion being the better part of valor, I simply shook my head then walked away.



Yesterday was a tough day, marking the first time… Continue

I took the step last night and shaved my head. The barber was great. She bushed my hair down as far as the clippers would go, then gave me some tips on shaving the rest. Her compliments on my new look, whether real or a ploy for a good tip, bolster my self esteem. I was appreciative of the compliments regardless of her intention. Head held high, I left the shop, then stopped to pick up some new blades for the razor. What a great feeling to be confident once again.



The shave was… Continue

A calendar hangs on the fridge for the family’s activities. A new pencil was hung at its’ side earlier this year in anticipation of the inevitable frenzy of the approaching summer. A selection of colored pens were gathered and placed into a nearby drawer. Out of quick reach, the pens are intended for events such as birthdays, holidays, graduations and the like whose important dates are set in stone.



The pencil is used for everything else as the only constant in life these days is… Continue

The doctor’s office called yesterday with the results from last week’s blood test. Nothing remarkable. I’m relieved, yet disappointed, as I was hoping for a treatable cause along the lines of a fungal infection. Amazing that one would wish for a fungal infection. All things considered, the alternatives could have been much worse than a dx including the term idiopathic – that’s Latin for unknown origin…medical speak for they don’t have a clue.



They offered a referral to a… Continue

I’ve kept pretty much to myself these past few weeks. In retrospect, distancing myself from family and friends was a not one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. As the saying goes, “no man is an island”. It was time to move forward.



Despite my trepidation, I ventured out to the local NAAF meeting last night. Glad I did. What I found was support, camaraderie, and much needed laughter. As if amongst family and old friends, I felt comfortable figuratively, as well as literally,… Continue

I’m feeling sorry for the cat. She’s shedding something terrible. Aside from the hair balls, there’s hair everywhere…in the shower clogging the drains, on the floor sticking to my feet, on the counters and in my food. Oh wait, that’s my hair.



Made a trip to the docs yesterday just to make sure something insidious isn’t lurking below the surface. Knowing that I’m 40 something, he began with a well rehearsed ‘it’s natural at your age to start losing your hair” speech. I’m pretty sure… Continue

Kids. They know more than we realize yet less than they might think. Disinformation is often more troublesome than no information at all. Imaginations run wild, thinking the worst…afraid of the perceived truth.



Such was the weekend. I was worse for wear but managed to smile despite the trials and tribulations of the week. Apparently my best attempt at a happy face was less than convincing as my youngest daughter sensed something was amiss. Her nervous demeanor was obvious as she flit… Continue

Epiphany - the sudden realization or comprehension of the essence or meaning of something.



I did some web surfing last night, trying to get a handle on both my emotions and the reality of alopecia. Somewhere between the dark and the light I had an epiphany. I can choose to wallow in self pity, wasting hours, days, even years which are then gone forever. Or, I can take the bull by the horns and live with passion, regardless of the opportunities, even those disguised as obstacles,… Continue