First - Thank you for responding to me and sending me encouragement. It really did encourage me to know that I'm not the only one going through this. I don't really feel like I can vocalize everything that I'm feeling yet, and it helps to know that other people have been there. Thank you!!
Its been a little over a week since I noticed the first two patches...and holy cow this thing is moving fast. The three patches that I had in the back have all merged into one giant patch. There's one patch on the right side above my ear. I also have a patch in the front on the right side....lovely, now I can see it. It was traumatic in the back..but now that I can see it everytime I look in the mirror, its definitely harder.
I went to the dermatologist today. He did make sure that it wasn't a fungal infection or anything. But then said...Alopecia Areata. No idea why and no way to predict what will happen. He said that the injections would not work as my patches were too big and moving too quickly. He talked about a major course of systemic immunosuppressants. But, like I said...I work with infectious diseases and being immunosuppressed would not work with what I do. He gave me a topical corticosteroid. Liquid Temovate...I already had temovate ointment for my eczema. Use that for a month and come back. So we'll see...
I tried to go hat shopping today. I just ended up crying because I couldn't find a hat that fit me. They were all either too big or too small. I'm trying to put on a good face and joke about it. Man is that hard! My boyfriend says... "it could be way worse...just deal with it and put a bandana on." Umm...i want to smack him! Yes, I know it could be way worse, no this isn't the end of the world... But for now, when I have to stare at the growing bald patches on my head each day. its a bit traumatic. Waking up everyday to hair all over my pillow. Clogging the shower drain each day with hair. Running the hairbrush through my hair and having to pull out the hair before I can run it through my hair again. I feel like I'm losing everything feminine about my appearance...I don't want to just stick a bandana on my head. I was looking for a cute girlie hat...but no such luck! Ugh!!
No, this will not rule my life and I will deal with however things turn out...but for right now, I just need some support. I need it to be okay that I am upset. I don't want to have to pretend that I'm not freaked out. I have no idea how much hair I'm going to lose and its moving really quickly. At this rate, in 10 days, I'm not going to have any hair on the right side of my head. I know that this isn't the end of the world and that other people have way worse things to deal with, but I still need it to be okay that I cry about it. I need it to be okay that I am scared.
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