Comment by Nichole Christian Durand on July 28, 2010 at 4:20pm

Well before my husband I was going out with this guy. At the time of our relationship the hair loss was small but I told him early. While he acted like he was OK with it he made these comments. Wants I took a hair cut (cuz my hair was thinning) that sort of camouflaged the spots at the back of my head and he said he could see what was on my mind. That was the final straw. Dumped him I did.
When I met my husband I was wearing weave for a while and he never understood why I never wore my hair out. I took the weave off once and wore a scarf and when he came over I sat him down showed him pics of myself before AA and then explained what it was. He just looked at me and never said a word. Then I took off the scarf and then he said you're the most beautiful woman I have ever met. He is very supportive and helps me pick out my wigs. Married him I did.
I guess there is no way to predict how a guy would react we simply have to hope for the best. I do know that if the guy is genuine in his intentions nothing not even the absence of hair should be a problem. When do you tell when you think it's the right time

Comment by Alliegator on July 28, 2010 at 4:56pm

Thank you for sharing! I believe some men may say they are OK with it, but when it comes down to the nitty gritty, they are not really OK with it. I would have dumped him too!
AWWW! That is so sweet! I hope I find a man like that one day. You are right... there is NO way to predict. And if it is meant to be, the absence of hair won't stop him.

Comment by Tiffany P on July 28, 2010 at 7:01pm

I'm the type of person that tells people things right away and if i never hear from someone agian well then thats alot of time and energy saved. at this time i'm not all that interested in dating but i always feel like i need to just lay the cards out on the table and see if they still want to keep going. That way if he bolts then ok he wanted a relationship with my hair and not me and if he still calls me back then we may just have something there. Always do whats comfortable for you but i just wanted to add my two cents for when i decide i want to jump into the dating scene i just dont like the idea of a man getting to know me and me liking him and then me having to give the speech and after months of bliss he decides he just cant "handle" the situation. there are really good men out there and i spoken to guys that trully didnt mind it in fact thought it was very sexy to be able to change like a secret agent lol so anyway keep us posted on your journey :o)

Comment by Alliegator on July 28, 2010 at 7:22pm

I agree! I'm thinking of telling the guy more like 4 or 5 dates into it, not months later. I don't think I could go months without telling him. I don't think I would be able to tell him before or on the 1st date but after a few I could. I think it depends on how we met & the situation. Part of me feels like I need to see if it will go anywhere before I bother telling him about it. Change like a secret agent... I like that! :) It is sexy! Not to be TMI, but it could make role play very fun. Lol. I will keep you posted!

Comment by Tallgirl on July 28, 2010 at 10:18pm

I had polite, church camp boys in my date life when dealing with alopecia during the teen years, one of whom knew the story and was very happy for me when my hair started growing in during college. (I moved across a whole country for him once, then moved back. Was even engaged three days over the phone to him, years later...he liked snow in his state more than the idea of California, however. Sent me those white "paper roses" in apology. Happy 57th birthday today, Jim, wherever you are!). Anyway, most of my dating happened when the hair grew in, so I do not have a lot of advice other than it felt SOOOOO great the day that he told me my alopecia didn't matter. Look for that kind of day...it changes so many things, even if you don't end up with that particular guy! My confidence to date men was forever improved.

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