Gail Porter's video caught me off guard

I just finished watching the Gail Porter documentary "Laid Bare", and must say that I found myself unexpectedly vulnerable. This video really touched a deep place in me. So, I felt a need to get my feelings out.

I was watching her facial expressions, reactions, body language, and it mirrored a lot of thing that I have felt during my journey.

I remember, playing it “strong” and then the dermatologist telling me that perhaps I should prepare myself and just get a wig. I remember the tears uncontrollably streaming down my face from the reality of the dermatologist words. As much as I wanted to be strong and hold it together, my emotions were much too strong to keep in.

I know I have “shrunken” in the public eye, not want to make eye contact or have anyone ask me a question for fear that I would just start bawling and be unable to answer the questions.

So much of it was familiar. Her re-visiting her family, I remember the feeling of knowing that others were not comfortable with my situation and did not quite now how to respond or react to me anymore. The little slips that say, your hair will grow back and everything will just go back to being “normal” again. When all I was thinking was… and what if it doesn’t? But kept those words to myself.

It does not take long for something to transport us back to our beginnings and this video did that for me.

I guess this is why AlopeciaWorld.com is so important to me. I know the feelings of meeting some else with alopecia for the first time and instantly those feelings of insecurity mixed with understanding rush to the forefront. It is as if the bond has been created and you are now free to say, feel and be what you are at that very moment, however raw that may be.

I give Gail lots of credit for this video; it was real, vulnerable, honest and transparent. Way to go Gail Porter.

So for now, I am going to sign off, go get a hug from rj and remember where all I have come from and think of how far I have come.

Cheryl Carvery-Jones
Co-Founder
www.AlopeciaWorld.com

Views: 14

Comment by Sherrie Laurie on February 17, 2009 at 3:03pm
Hi Cheryl....yes Gails video had a similar effect on me and one comment she made helped me realise that some part of me has not been experiencing life to the fullest because of my A.U. ....I still live life but hold back...don't swim anymore, or ski or ride horses, or jetski, I've even let it affect intimacy with my husband because I don't feel as beautiful anymore..things I love to do but make excuses to avoid. I don't often go without a wig, because it's very cold in alaska, but Gails video made me re-evaluate how I view alopecia....i have accepted it but as only a temporary inconvenience, something that I will wake up tomorrow and there will be hair growth...instead of just being me...living from the inside out rather then by my external appearance. Like everyone else I have good days and bad days...I can even smile at myself in the mirror now and whip my wig off whenever I feel like it. One thing that has taken along time to get over was the 30 years of Alopecia Areata, patchs that would fall out and grow back in randomly....I definitely prefer the bald head!!!!
Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on February 18, 2009 at 1:41pm
Hi Sherrie Laurie, Thank you so much for the thoughful response and you are right. Now you mention it, the time that made the biggest difference for me was when I came to terms that my alopecia was not temporary. Now I am waiting for you to find "your way"to get back to swimming, jetskiing, skiing or ride a horses. We have so many choices, even without going out bald. Just a bit of problem solving required ;)
Comment by Jill on February 18, 2009 at 9:08pm
This video took me back as well...My families reactions, hearing the truth from the derm, trying on wigs for the first time. Like Sherrie Laurie, I too still hold back at time because of my AU. I found it refreshing to to see Gail come to terms with her AU in such a positive way. I hope I can get there some day. Thanks for sharing the video.

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