Comment

Comment by Tamara on November 18, 2010 at 6:47am

The hair loss doesnt bother me. I havent lost ANY sleep over it, and my shower and get ready time has been cut down more than half. I think its the look I get with the comment. I dont feel like I need to explain my situation to strangers. I have a few times, but they just look at me confused. Then being told "I'd make a hot lesbian" doesn't help the situation either. Some people just need to keep their stupid comments to themselves.

Comment by Roslyn on November 17, 2010 at 6:10pm

No I actually feel just the opposite. I like getting the compliments but I actually take it as an opportunity to explain our condition. The compliments I receive from strangers actually mean more to me.

Comment by Julie Koch on November 17, 2010 at 5:57pm

People used to comment on how long, thick and beautiful my hair was, and HEALTHY! I had to cut 14 inches off when the scalp pain and hair loss started. I havent gotten a single compliment on my looks since all this started and it is very hard. My hair was the one thing I was proud of about myself and now it's a mess. It's hard to try to find new things you like about yourself when you feel your identity has been stolen. It is a learning experience and I am slowly learning that I am still me even with all the new acne and hair loss...

Comment by Tamara on November 17, 2010 at 6:44am

Thank you everyone for the comments, I really appreciate it. I guess its just that half the time I get strange looks, and the other half its "I like your hair cut". Completely 2 different things. But thank you everyone! I just need to look on the brighter side of things!

Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on November 17, 2010 at 12:08am

Tamara, I would just politely say “Thank you”. If you did not have alopecia and someone made a comment you probably wouldn’t think twice about accepting the compliment. So, if we want to live “normal” we also have to allow people to react normally.

Since alopecia, I see beauty in a whole different light and try not to miss an opportunity to appreciate and comment on unconventional beauty. Whether it is an older lady with grey hair and flawless skin, a teenager that someone would consider over weight or too “freckled”, a curvaceous woman who is truly wearing the dress she has on or some of the senior “mothers” at our church that truly know how to age gracefully and have a beauty no plastic surgeon could possibly emulate. And I can guarantee you if I passed by you, I would make it a point to get to you and tell you how beautiful you are.

Take the compliment as sincere. Let it lift your spirit and remind you that your true beauty is just shining through.

Comment by Marie on November 16, 2010 at 7:53pm

(Man, you've got BLUE eyes!) :-)

Comment by Marie on November 16, 2010 at 7:50pm

I think I would take the time to compliment you because It would not occur to me that you had Alopecia. I would assume you chose the look.

Comment by Marie on November 16, 2010 at 7:48pm

I totally understand that when people say they like your "hair cut" it makes you miss your long hair. But it might be that people are sincere and simply complimenting you -- even if they are random strangers. You have to admit that very, very short or shaved hair is not an every day style and it is extremely striking. Frankly, you look stunning and edgy; your look exudes a sexy confidence. I'd actually be surprised if people DIDN'T compliment you! I'm sure that most people are not trying to make you feel bad or be derogatory. I'll bet that if they knew they knew how you felt about it, they would hold their tongue. I'm the sort of person who complements strangers a lot. If a woman is wearing an awesome outfit, has a great smile, I usually complement her even if I don't know her. I figure that people should be know how great they look. If I saw you in a coffee shop, I'd probably tell you that you looked really hot, because you do.

Comment by Louise Czuba on November 16, 2010 at 7:00pm

I totally understand. I always wore my hair shoulder length or longer. When my alopecia areata got really bad this summer I had it cut short so it would look thicker. My mother said "Well it's about time you got in the 21st century and got rid of that high-school hair." I cried for days. She said it twice, the second time infront of my husband. My condition became severe a month ago and so now I am wearing a wig or headband fall most of the time. Every time I leave the house it's a topic for discussion. I just want to BE, I don't want to talk about my hair. I hate this stupid disease and I WANT MY HAIR BACK!!!!!!! I'm ag.ngry about this today, can you tell? Hugs, Tamara. You're not alone.

Comment by Angie P on November 16, 2010 at 2:50pm

@Tamara: Ohhh, okay. That makes sense. Yeah, some folks just need to keep their mouth shut. They think they're being clever and don't realize their snarkiness is coming through loud and clear. And the lesbian thing **eyeroll**, yeah that takes the cake. I get that from time to time because I'm never married and have no kids. The things folks let come out of their mouths sometimes can be reeeaaallll interesting.

@Diana: Years ago I had people say how much they liked my hair. It was all good until I offered them the opportunity to pay for the upkeep. Oh, then it was a different story for sure. LOL! I stopped processing (and giving a d@mn) back in 1997-98. Hmmm, maybe that's why I'm not feeling the full brunt of this issue yet. In my mind, as far as my hair was concerned, I told people to "kick rocks" a long time ago.

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