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Comment by Bridgid Weber on May 31, 2015 at 10:39pm

Thank you for pointing out that we don't lose our potential to be beautiful just because we have lost our hair!  I have a wardrobe of wigs ranging from a synthetic $30 blonde pixie that I wear to the grocery store to my really good hair, my Follea (long blonde and wavy)-I think it looks better on me than my natural hair of my teens and twenties.  I am 50 and have slowly lost my hair over the past 20 years.  I recently "came out" about my alopecia and that has made me more confident and hence, I believe, more beautiful.  I try to think of my wigs, my hats, my turbans, and even my beautiful bald head as a variety of wardrobe options.  I like to dress for the occasion and for me what I choose to put on my head is simply part of that daily decision.  For exercise or indoor activities where it's really hot, I go natural.  For showering, intimate time with my husband, going in a hot tub, I'm natural too-nothing on my head.  For swimming-a cute swim cap.  For work-I have a "work wig"-a conservative blonde bob-human hair-cost me about $300.  For special occasions it has to be my Follea.  If I'm just working around the house- I'll be in sweats with a turban or beanie.  For sleep-a knit cap or nothing at all.  I'm trying to have fun with this.  It sure beats crying or hiding or worrying that I can't wear a cute short wig that goes great with the new sweater I bought because someone saw me last week with my shoulder length hair.  I wore a cute medium length strawberry blonde wig to church today and got compliments on my hair.  One acquaintance who doesn't know my story asked who my stylist was.  I laughed and told her she could have this same style for under $50! And that's just what works for me.  Some of us don't want to wear wigs anymore-you can still be beautiful.  I like wearing cute high heels but I have beautiful friends who think they're uncomfortable and never wear them.   Wear what you like-on your body, on your feet, on your head.  Whatever I choose to put on my head does not make me beautiful anymore than a dress or a garment can make me beautiful.  What makes me beautifu?l-my smile, my blue eyes, but most of all my countenance-when I get the focus off of me, off of my alopecia and start drinking in all the beauty in the world around me, when I look others in the eyes with confidence, unapologetic and not worrying about what is or isn't on my head. 

Comment by Jessica Hoschouer on February 19, 2015 at 8:25pm

Some of the most amazing quotes on this subject...

“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.”
― Kahlil Gibran

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Comment by LilyBell*Murphy'sLawLuvsMe on October 9, 2011 at 9:32pm

I know this is a dissenting opinion - but I personally do not feel beautiful without my hair. I wear hear to make me feel like I used to. That is not to say that I do not think that I do not deserve the love of a good man or that I will settle in my love life in any way but for me I want hair, I look better with hair so I wear hair. My facial features are better with hair. Just like my eyes look better with mascara. Just like my pale lips look prettier with some colored gloss. I feel more youthful with hair. Inner beauty is important but without initial chemistry which is often based upon looks, how does one get to the inner beauty. Most men, not all by any means like hair, in my opinion. Just how I feel - no disrespect to those who feel otherwise xxooxox

Comment by Rosie on October 9, 2011 at 6:21am

I totally agree Cheryl! This has been something that bugs me when I see it in the blogs and discussions. A few times I've seen girls write things like "at least having alopecia means that when I get a boyfriend I'll know he likes me for "me" and not for superficial reasons." or "When I find a guy who can see my inner beauty I know he is special." I used to have thoughts like these all the time! I thought that I was looking on the positive side of things but really it was just low self-esteem and me believing that I'm somehow "damaged" because I don't have hair! The reality is us alopecians are hot and we don't need to wait around for some sort of saintlike being who can miraculously look past our baldness. Yes inner beauty is important but don't forget that you ARE beautiful on the outside as well!!!

Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on October 7, 2011 at 12:00am

Jennifer, very well said.

Comment by Jennifer Krahn on October 6, 2011 at 4:04pm

To me...hair or no hair I think people with alopecia are beautiful. I believe that our perspective of beauty matures as we age and we are able to appreciate the multifaceted faces of beauty. Beauty should not be tied up in one's hair (that's just one facet). Beauty is a great smile, fantastic eyes, symmetry, cheekbones, etc. On this site all I see is beauty! It should be said however that beauty can't be restrained to just looks but it also entails confidence in oneself, how one carries oneself, and how one represents themselves.

Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on October 5, 2011 at 8:37pm

Daniel, exactly. "we shouldnt look at beauty as being limited to internal just because someone is bald" Is exactly what I was trying to say. But sometimes the words that come out of our mouths tells another story. I think we have to be careful with the words that we use if we want to help that perspective change for us as well as others. I am not saying that we have to focus on our outer beauty, but I also don't think we need to discredit it just because we are bald. As if hair follicles is the only attribute that makes a man or woman attractive to thers.

Comment by Amy on October 5, 2011 at 5:37pm

Can I just say.... I love this support group! It is so helpful knowing that we are all in the same boat and we are all feeling many of the same things! Even when I had hair, I had self esteem issues! Now I just have to work even harder to keep my head up! Just reading thru these posts helps so much!

Comment by AJ on October 5, 2011 at 3:14pm

That's such a good point Cheryl.
I think it's really important that everybody values 'inner beauty', as we never know what's going to happen in life - you could, God forbid, be in a fire or an accident that leaves you badly scarred, or anything. We could all lose our looks, so it's important that all our self-worth isn't solely dependant on how we look.
But that aside, I do still think it is important to value your looks to a healthy degree - it's healthy for self-esteem.
And of course, losing your hair does not mean you no longer have 'outer beauty'. You only have to look at people's photos here to see that!!

For me, I feel that's really important - if I'm totally honest, I do feel so much less attractive now. And in a way, like I've lost some of my identity in that sense. But losing your hair shouldn't mean you are no longer attractive! Just as tons of bald men are very handsome, women can still be beautiful, rock a gorgeous dress, or take pride in putting their make-up on!
And what we feel inside and portray, is often how others will see us too.

Comment by Lili on October 5, 2011 at 1:57pm

Thanks for your post, it really struck a chord in me. Since joining this site I've seen so many who are beautiful inside AND outside. It's been a huge breakthrough for me and I'm also stunned by the amount of people I see who are strong, confident and self assured- it's just so amazing. Losing my hair to FPB, my biggest worry is that I'm no longer attractive, that I can't be confident. There's nothing more beautiful than being unique and holding your head up high... plus, a little glamour! Lots of glamorous ladies here, their beauty is definitely sparkling on the outside too. Since I started losing my hair, I started paying attention to details of my appearance that I never had before. If/when I shave my head, I don't think I'll be wearing a wig everyday, as I like my head to breathe and have a sensitive scalp. But when I do wear one (just got my first) I feel like a showgirl. :) My boyfriend also has MPB. When we met years ago, I had a full head of hair and still always thought he was the hottest guy in the room.

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