As my 50th birthday approached, I occasionally thought about the fact that much was about to change for me. I struggled with the thoughts of impending possibilities such as weight gain, wrinkles, aches and pains, and the gradual waning of my physical abilities. But I also thought about my journey with alopecia over the past 24 years.

With alopecia the questions were different: Would I find a mate? Would I ever feel like a woman again? Did my “beauty” fade away with my hair? But the root issue was still the same, fear of what was to become of me.

I thought about my alopecia and how it was not until I stood on the edge and jumped in that I was able to really start enjoying my life again. My natural reaction was fear and hiding, but I wanted to do it differently.

I wanted to find my way to feel like a woman, look into the mirror and see my inherent beauty, and trust that when someone told me that I was worthy they were telling me the truth. I wanted to feel free to be myself without worrying about what others thought of my bald patches or the fact that I've occasionally been mistaken for a man. I knew that a lot of men wouldn't be a attracted to me after I stopped wearing wigs to hide my alopecia, but I wanted to believe that the right one would.

When I started my journey with alopecia I was not sure of many of these things. However, as the years went by my thinking started to shift. I worked on my insecurities and challenged my thoughts. I tackled them from the inside and the outside by presenting myself in ways that made me feel strong, confident, and beautiful.

Now when my husband tells me he has a beautiful wife, I believe him. When I leave the house dressed up, I like what I see in the mirror. When I am with others, I trust that I am every bit as worthy as they are. I no longer believe that there are things that I cannot do because I lack hair. At this point, my hairlessness is irrelevant.

I want to jump into aging the same way I eventually jumped into my alopecia, only sooner. I don’t want to spend years in fear of what others are going to be thinking of my decisions or wanting one thing but doing another.

I want to age gracefully but still beautifully on my own terms. I want to trudge through snow and make snowmen with my grandson, cuddle with my husband to the wee hours of the night and still feel vibrant and sexy. I want to travel as much as we can and still continue to make a positive difference in the lives of others.

Whatever decisions I make, I want to make for the right reasons and not out of fear.

I am ready to jump off the deep end and do all the things I believe are possible and even some that I believe are not. My alopecia has prepared me for this.

Cheryl Carvery-Jones

Co-Founder

AlopeciaWorld.com

Views: 1147

Comment by GardenJess on February 13, 2015 at 9:57pm

Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing. I could benefit from some jumping when it comes to both alopecia and aging, though with the alopecia I'm kind of OK with recognizing the uncomfortableness of being in limbo and expecting that the uncertainty about my choice of presenting myself won't last forever.

Comment by suburban mom on February 14, 2015 at 7:37am

thank you!  really enjoyed!!!

it is wonderful to be comfortable in your own skin. 

Comment by TrayG on February 14, 2015 at 9:14am

What an awesome post!  Thank you for that and Happy Valentine's Day!  You are beautiful!

Comment by Anne Brenda on February 15, 2015 at 1:25pm

You are an inspiration and, believe me, I am very well defended so not easily inspired! You words are enormously helpful and encouraging. I am going to aim for the same. Thank you, thank you, sooo much!

Comment by femmemuscle on February 15, 2015 at 6:50pm

Wow!

What an inspiration!  And yes, beautifully written.  Looking at your avatar? i had no idea you were in the "Golden Years".. No Way!!

Comment by Duke on February 16, 2015 at 5:07pm

Your strength has given me the nudge necessary to make it through today...   Thank-you

Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on March 10, 2015 at 1:41pm

Sometimes we all need a nudge or a reminder of where we need to be heading...including me.

Comment by Duke on March 10, 2015 at 5:18pm

Again,  thanks

Comment by Harish on April 3, 2015 at 12:18am

Thank you chery,  really nice inspiration ! 

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