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Comment by wise1 on July 22, 2012 at 4:47pm

2 things i think - we all have insecurities. If not our hair then something.... and men do look without even realizing they look. They are not comparing, just looking. They also don't want to say the wrong thing to the woman they love.

Comment by Tallgirl on July 21, 2012 at 12:10am

It's when they start to spend weekends, go camping or travel on "business trips" with other gals that the momentum is really broken, because then they have SHOWN us that we aren't The Special Ones in their lives. That gal in the commercial can't crawl out of the television, so I think you are safe. Everyone has choices, and so far it looks like he is choosing you.

Comment by Natasha Gehrke on July 20, 2012 at 10:29pm

I lost all my hair at 13 and it was really hard for me to deal with. I always wondered if the people I dated really liked me or if they has a motive for dating me. I was never really confident about how I looked because I would compare myself to the people I went to school with. My boyfriend now started dating me while I was bald and my hair grew back in some time into our relationship. My hair is starting to fall out again and I wonder if my relationship will fall with my hair. In the end my life will play out how it will and I will carry on. What I look like shouldn't matter to the people around me. I see my boyfriend look at other women all the time and it bothers me but I have something to take solace in. Regardless what happens with my hair I will be confident about who I am as a person. He may look at others but he loves me. It is a very strong emotion and its not something that can go away so easily. Your husband married you and that kind of commitment is a lot for a person to make. Your hair won't change how he feels about you. Love is love. Deep and strong enough to break and evil spell in every fairytail that we have heard since we were children.

Comment by Tallgirl on July 18, 2012 at 11:35am

Yep. Check out this article online (and several more articles telling about other stars with wigs, like Beyonce, Oprah and Halle Berry):

BALD HEADED??? Jennifer Lopez Has A SECRET WIG ROOM ...
cdn.mediatakeout.com/.../bald-headed-jennifer-lopez-has-a-secret-wi...
Apr 10, 2009 – Here's what Star Magazine has to say about a secret room that she has in her home: ... Tags: hair, jennifer lopez, star magazine, usd, wig .... children.

Comment by Lisamarie on July 18, 2012 at 7:21am

I'd also like to point out that a lot of the time these women are also wearing wigs or hair extensions. Obviously not for the same reason we do, but they're still using fake things to make themselves feel like they look better or to look the way the media dictates how we should look. Natural beauty is near on non-existent in media.

Comment by Norm on July 17, 2012 at 6:44pm

Wow, LL... I don't think anyone's ever called me "swell" before! Stop it now, before my head really DOES swell! :)

Something I realised I should have said, after I'd posted my earlier reply, is a thing that John mentions - openness and honesty, no matter what the situation is. Did you actually give The Hubster a chance? You need to explain your feelings, calmly and rationally, and explain what you thought seemed to be happening. Or did you just make an assumption, and jump on him? As I said before, he might not even be aware of anything being wrong - but if it's causing you grief, you need to tell him what the problem is and give him the opportunity to put your mind at rest. If you fail to do that, you can end up in a really bad place - you've effectively laid the foundations of mistrust, and put an elephant in the room every time an attractive girl appears (for real, or on the TV), and that's the start of that slippery downhill slope. Failure to communicate properly, stopping talking to someone, not getting something that's bugging you out into the open and sorted once and for all... you can end up holding onto a grudge and becoming bitter over something that, if you'd talked about it, turned out to be no problem at all.

Anyway, just looking (by either partner) never harmed my marriage - we managed 25 years, after all. Cancer... now THAT'S a bitch. Alopecia's nothing compared to that.

LL, Lilybell is totally correct. So go and give your confused fella a big hug, NOW!! :)

Comment by LilyBell*Murphy'sLawLuvsMe on July 16, 2012 at 10:00pm

LL he loves you and I know you know that. He may have thought the woman was attractive but I am sure he was NOT comparing you, the love of his life, the mother of his children, the person who has stuck by his side through thick and thin and loved him, faults and all - just as you have loved him. He finds you beautiful - not just because of your physical attractivenss but because of your heart! : )

Comment by Kimberly Grise on July 16, 2012 at 8:04pm

First let me start by saying that I have had Alopecia since I was ten years old. Every woman with this issue feels like this from time to time, or all the time... even if they do not admitt it. I have dated alot of men, and been married myself, some guys are just shallow... as with all people. But yours must be good, or you would not have married him. I will share with you something that my mom shared with me when I was a teeager. I've used it, and it seems to work... "Guys do not always care how you look. If you notice something wrong with you, and if a guy likes you, never tell them your flaws. They will never see them. Be and act confident, beautiful and secure; and you will be".... it works... Remember, for better or worse. He loves you. Its ok. You guys will just be stronger for it. Do not let those thoughts eat up who u are. : ) My mom always told me guys are attracted to any woman anyways lol. They just keep the special ones around. ie: see Norm above lol.

Comment by BTB (John) on July 16, 2012 at 8:02pm

The whole point of being with partner id to be in a partnership, the days leering, or comparing how someone else compares to your partner are gone. I can choose to look at another woman or I can choose not out of respect for my partner. we can control our actions and if I start looking at other women I know that I am not in a partnership that is built on the respect it needs to maintain the bonds that tie it together. The personality type that has to look to other women are generally, single and don't have the commitment needed to be in a long term relationship, got some mates in that situation and spend most of their time trying to find a partner, find one and then start looking again. Relationships need a lot of work to keep them healthy and being a counselor I have witnessed some disasters over the years, and being with a partner for 43years who is also a psychologist, we both work the work. I can find a woman attractive but if I find I am attracted to her I am doing something wrong in my relationship. Open honesty and no matter what the situation always works the best. Thanks Lisa great question and Pat after 23 years of Alopecia still feels sensitive it is not a normal situation for a woman to be bald, its a perfectly valid emotional response to have feel many powerful emotions because of alopecia. Men plain old male pattern baldness which is accepted in society as normal can cause all sorts of stressful responses from men who have. Alopeia is a bitch Pat and I deal with it but it dont mean we like it or that it does not cause us a lot o stress.

Comment by Lisa-Lynn Marini on July 16, 2012 at 6:39pm

First i'd like to say a special thank_you for thoe of you who replied to my blog!! I was just on my way out to the store to buy another wig bcause i wanted to be more atractive to him and once i've seen your messages it touched my heart and it really made me think about what you all have to say,I defenitly will read this when i'm down again.

Norm, you made me smile you're a swell guy, ty for sharing your comment!!

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