Relationships, why can't I find one?

Sure I'm only 18 years old and have most of my hair but when I really think about it, what girl would want to date a guy who has bald spots. I mean mine are covered but there's others out there who don't have them covered or have a third of their eyebrow left. It certainly keeps me up at night wondering if I'll have one. Actually does more than keep me up at night, sadly. So my question is where do I start? How do I go about bringing up my alopecia? Or is literally every guy and girl shallow that they can't see past it? Please respond and help me and others out!

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AW:

Check out the excellent "Third Date Rule" written by Debbi Fuller a few years ago.

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Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on August 29, 2013 at 4:27pm

Hi Connor,

You may also want to heck out the excellent "Third Date Rule" written by Debbi Fuller a few years ago for advice on telling someone about your alopecia.

Comment by Connor013 on August 29, 2013 at 2:20pm
Yea I try to be confident. That helps my depression but I just feel like no matter what I do it won't change the terrible feelings I get.
Comment by mardy on August 29, 2013 at 1:58pm

people can be cruel...they view hair as the crown on your head..good hair bad hair.. it's like hair hair hair.. I get sick of people that take their hair for granted.. when I met my husband we talked for a couple months I told him I had alopecia areta.. well right before he moved her from another state it turned into alopecia universials.. he's always said I didn't fall In love with your hair.. he loves to kiss on my head . but this is just to let you know there are people out there that care and don't judge.. yes alopecia can be very depressing believe me I get it all the time.. I look in the mirror and I don't see me looking back it's someone that doesn't look like me.. I found that feeling secure and confident about yourself really helps..

Comment by Connor013 on August 29, 2013 at 10:06am
True. Its just hard for me to even make eye contact cause of my eyebrows. This disorder has really lowered my confidence level.
Comment by Kimberly Grise on August 29, 2013 at 9:54am
I've dated a lot. It is what it is. If they can't handle it. Oh well. I am up front with It right away. I've had decent luck. But I also don't attempt if I think a guy would turn me down or seems too shallow.
Comment by Connor013 on August 29, 2013 at 8:03am
Thanks! Its just hard cause I tend not to look at people in general the same cause of my disorder.
Comment by Tallgirl on August 28, 2013 at 11:42pm

You can hand them a brochure from or link to www.naaf.org, then wait to see if they come back to start knowing you better, even knowing all this.

Comment by Amy-Rose on August 28, 2013 at 10:46pm

Personally, I like to tell people really early on. It's important for them to understand Alopecia and having to take off my hair every night before bed before it goes any further. No point in wasting time with someone for a few months who then turns around and doesn't like who you are when you tell them. If they don't like it from the start, they aren't worth the time of day. :)

Comment by Jackie on August 28, 2013 at 4:41pm

Not everyone is shallow :) A lot of people don't care about that appearance stuff, I certainly don't, my friends don't, it's just about finding that person that looks passed all of that. About the "bringing it up" bit, I would say wait till it's a couple of months into the relationship. Don't just drop the bomb haha I mean, I barely told my closest friend, and I've known her since I was in 6th grade. You're so nice & easy to talk too, nothing else should matter, especially something as dumb as alopecia. (I mean, I know you hate Honey Boo Boo, but I look passed that. Not everyone understands her humor~) Anyway, my point is, people can be understanding, not everyone, but some are. Just find that girl that you like talking too, trust her, etc. :) I hope I helped?! I tried to tap into my deep, intelligent brain lol it's been a long day.

Comment by butta on August 28, 2013 at 4:27pm
yea i know some ppl cant look past that

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