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The worst time having AA
I was thinking the other day about when I felt the worse this time round having AA. it's happened at a slower pace than last time so I've been able to experience each stage of hairloss as it's come. I have to say that the worst time for me was when I wore hats to cover the patches but still had long hair. Then I had it cut short and parted differently but it only just covered the patches with loads of hairspray. This was so stressful, one gust of wind and my patches were on show for everyone. And I found I was much more inclined to try and hide it at this stage. Since I buzzed it and wore wigs or head scarves or just went around al natural I feel so much more free. Everyone knows so there's no worry and extra stress about people finding out and nobody knows what to expect when it comes to my head gear so they dont expect a certain thing if that makes sense. I actually quite like my alopecia now in some ways, its unique. Has anyone else felt like this?
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Comment by Mary on September 24, 2009 at 12:12am
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Absolutely! Before I shaved my head and got rid of the straggling hair, I was terrified of going to the pool because my bald spots would show when my hair was wet. Now I just go there bald, and it's really not a big deal. The relief of anxiety once I stopped trying to hide the fact that I had no hair was huge. There are still firsts...like the first time performing bald with the band (see recent photos), but once each step is taken, it just seems easy. I'm getting to that "I feel unique and proud of it stage", too.
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Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on September 24, 2009 at 9:37am
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Hi Lindsey, I also feel that the worst time for me was when I was trying to hide my alopecia and it was becoming impossible to do. I guess it is at that point that I really felt that I was out of control. For me personally, when I finally stopped hiding the relief came. I can understand your comment about actually liking your alopecia now too. I have become so use to my look that even now I am growing some hair, I find myself shaving what I have. I guess I am in reverse denial and don't want to accept that I may grow a full head of hair again. Or I feel that, finally when I get to a point of acceptance --now it wants to grow back and I am just being defiant :). Either way, I have come to embrace my alopecia.
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Comment by Natalie on September 24, 2009 at 4:07pm
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Yes yes yes! I completely agree! The absolute most stressful time for me was when I had to cut my long hair short so that it would look more full, and even then it was miserable because I had to spend so long pinning my hair up in a gazillion different ways so that my spots wouldn't show. And I DREADED windy days. Not to mention I could never go to a pool for fear of my patches showing. Now that I am bald, I am soooo happy! I wear my wig about half of the time, and the other half I wear a scarf or a hat. I go to the gym with a baseball cap, but I no longer care what people think. It's as if it is more "acceptable" to be bald than it is to be patchy.....I feel grateful every day for my alopecia and the stress it now saves me from having to deal with washing my hair everyday. And I don't have to shave anymore! How cool is that?! Keep smiling, Lindsey :)
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Comment by Joshua on September 25, 2009 at 9:59pm
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YES! Lyndsey! "I have to say that the worst time for me was when I wore hats to cover the patches but still had long hair." describes what I had gone through 100%.
I shaved the remaining ones on my head every other day for the past 6 years. WOW 6 years! and couldnt have more good days with it than before. :)
Take care and God bless.
jt
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Comment by brenda j on September 27, 2009 at 10:06pm
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welll, i'm in that time!! hiding the bald spots, and i hate it!!! i'm afraid of everything!! the water, the wind!! everything!!! it's so streesfull, today was a hard day!! i speded the hole day at my place!!! aloneeee and i relize that my hairs is stiil falling a lot!!! and my bald spots are gettin better, but today i notice a lot of new hairs falling down and i freak out!!! i don't want that, i don't wanna lose that hair again!! not the new one!!! i don't know what to doo, i'm not going to shape my head, i can still hide it!! and every day its getting easier because i`m getting better!!! fuck i hate to see how my falls down!!! i just can't get it!!! i wanna feel special like you for this problem but i can't i just can't i just want my hair back!!! i don0t wanna bald!!! besides my hairs is so beatifull, i'ts dark brownd, and i used to have a lot of hair and is straight, long!!! and shines all the time!!! and don't wanna lose it!!! i just can't imagine me bald. or using a wig!!! i just can't i don't want it to!!! i know theres a big possiblility of it!!! because i have this problem since i was 5!! but i don't want it!!! i'm 19!!! i'm to young!!! why meee???!!! why???!!! i'm so despeared!!! i don't know what else to doo0!!! i have to be strong!!!!
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today is one of these days that i feel sad, despered, strange, i don't know what to do0o!! i look my bold spots, and i hope to see something deferent even when i know that nothing has change!! i get sad, because i relize that it's getting better but at the same time it's getting worst, i don't feel securee, and i'm kind of start datting a guy, i and really like him, but i'm so scared!!! i know that if we keep datting sooner or later i sholud tell him, i'm so scared of that, i know it's just the beginign and maybe i'm overacting, but this happens all the time but i have to be strong i love this site because i can tell people what i feel, and don't feel scared!!
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