To speak or not to speak, that is the question!!!!!!

Yesterday as I was travelling back from London I stopped at a motorway service station for a coffee. As I stood in the queue another “Alopecian” joined the queue. It was clear that he noticed my Alopecia. It is obvious now that I am not just simply bald as my eyebrows have virtually all gone and so the alopecia is plain to see. He was also completely bald and had no eyebrows so I naturally assumed he was the same as I am, AU.

I was speaking to the person behind the counter but I could see that he wanted to speak. As soon as I finished speaking to the person serving me I went to speak to the Alopecian but he was now placing his order and so I moved away as my order was complete. I purposely sat in a chair at a table with a free chair and table near to it as I thought he might sit there and we could speak. He started to move towards the free chair near to me but before he got there another person sat in it and so he move to another free seat on the other side of the room.

As I finished my coffee I pondered as to if I should go over but I didn’t.

Views: 8

Comment by Galvin on February 27, 2009 at 12:56pm
I think you made the right choice of not getting up to approach the guy. Travelling,
you probably would not see the guy again. If it was your local coffee shop and you saw
the man/woman before...then I think that is the time and place for approaching people.
Comment by JeffreySF on February 27, 2009 at 12:56pm
Sometimes things just happen as we would like them too and sometimes not.
Grrrrrr Next time.
Comment by Carol on February 27, 2009 at 2:58pm
I always say hi to other alopecians, it's so rare that you run into them. This also prevents me from kicking myself later when I'm thinking to myself "I should have..".
Comment by Jill on February 27, 2009 at 6:53pm
I think you made the right choice too Ray. You tried to make yourself approachable for this other alopecian. It's a sensitive subject and it could be quite awkward if you were too forward.
Comment by Luka Plourde on March 1, 2009 at 2:44pm
I know I get really excited when I see someone walking around with patches of hair obviously missing, and I am not talking your run of the mill receding hairline here. I want to run up and be like hey!! I know what you are going through, what sort of therapies have you tried? Unfortunatly the couple of people I have verbally bombarded seemed more uneasy then communicative. I guess we all deal in our own ways, your always takin a chance but hey if your just visiting then why not? It's not like you will have to see them again and then your not stuck with that nagging "what if".
Comment by cho.haewon on March 16, 2009 at 12:56am
I am just like you! I have always made sure to make myself welcoming and approachable to people and welcome questions if people are curious... I wear wigs a lot but am not afraid to wear my bandanas too, but since i have no eyebrows or eyelashes, (and i hope not to offend anyone when i say the following) but i look like i have cancer... thats the one thing that stops me from asking someone i might suspect has alopecia... what if they are undergoing chemo? I would feel so terrible asking since i am otherwise healthy! But i did approach one man once who kept his head shaved but you could see the faint patterns/shadows on his scalp (which only fellow AA, AT or AU people would recongize! :o) He and i had a great conversation! But yes, i think its hard to tell when they have full-on hair loss!
Comment by Mary on March 16, 2009 at 1:03am
I go around bald all the time, except when I'm chilly or in the sun, and I'd LOVE for another alopecian to say something, but they probably are afraid that I'm undergoing chemo. I've developed a way of "breaking the ice" when I'm out in public....when I see someone bald (always men up to this point), I lightheartedly say "Nice haircut", or "I like your hairstyle". Invariably, they smile and tell me they like mine, too...or, they wish they could get their head as shiny as mine is.

One time, I saw a guy in Macy's who I thought was an alopecian, and I just went up and asked him. He was, and he seemed very happy to meet another.
Comment by mandy on March 29, 2009 at 7:17pm
Hiya Ray, Hope your well hun, well a fella came in to my work on Friday 27/03/09 and was asking for something, he looked me in the eye and i looked him in the eye both knowing we both had alopecia, (nothing else to be said) the only way we could tell was in the eyes ( no eye lashes does it to me) he was a man with a shaved head and i was a woman in a wig, i went in the back and kicked myself for not asking but how do you say hiya ali-p friend when your at work or out and about??? So if the fella reads this that came in to a chemist for something for when he went fishing I'm the one that said something beginning with L could be anything in a chemist

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