I've been extremely honest with my friends, sometimes even pushed myself a little bit too hard. I push myself to be ok with this and most days I can accept it or forget about it. But I'm never happy about it. Sometimes I realise I don't have any hair or catch a glints of myself in the mirror and I get sad. Most days its fine but once in a while as I said I get sad.

I walk around like I have a full head of hair, not pretending that I do but like its the most natural thing in the world that a woman can choose her own hairstyle. "Forcing" everybody else to face their prejudice. Its hard and sometimes I want to hide, but this hair issue is not my fault or my choice so if I have to deal with it so does the world. I won't hide who I am. I say who because (you guys now this better than anybody) that's how it feels.

I think a good description for how I feels is emotionally raw. I can't deal with everyday stuff as efficiently and I get upset about stuff that would never had bothered me when I had hair.

I think I force this to get a commet so I can lash out. Point at the bad guy yell at him and then when I get home cry. But so far no one has made a comment. The only one who asked me about my hair turned out to be a girl with alopecia! Someone I never would have met had I not "forced" the world to accept my bare head (talk about silver lining). I've realized people in sweden don't get in eachothers way (unless drunk).

Nowadays I wear my head as it is and its hard. But I'm always reminded that even if I don't see any alopecians they can still be there. Hopefully they sit a bit taller if they se me, knowing that they're not alone. I at least feel better knowing they are there.

I can't get a grip on my feelings am I sad or angry, happy, depressed, fine? they swirl so fast I can't decide, so maybe I'm everything at the same time.