I've been trying to handle my hair loss, taking the bull by the horns so to speak. Telling my self "I can handle this", "I'm going to be fine" (fine as in all right not as in it's going to grow back). Pragmatic, realistic, positive. It's very typical me.

But I'm fed up, tired, like i got the wind knocked out of me. I'm not fine, I'm sad.

It's been a year since I lost my hair and I feel like my life hit a wall. Someone pressed the pause button that day, and I can't find play. I…

I've been extremely honest with my friends, sometimes even pushed myself a little bit too hard. I push myself to be ok with this and most days I can accept it or forget about it. But I'm never happy about it. Sometimes I realise I don't have any hair or catch a glints of myself in the mirror and I get sad. Most days its fine but once in a while as I said I get sad.

I walk around like I have a full head of hair, not pretending that I do but like its the most natural thing in the world…

Yesterday was my first day with a wig, it was extremly uncomfortable. A really pretty front lace synthetic shoulder length dark brown. I guy at work said "someone whent to the hairdresser, Nice!". I should mention that last week I had a really short light brown haircut. So they don't seem to care or notice.

However pretty I looked I felt horrible, uncomfortable and just wanted to flush the wig down the toilet. But i couldn't because underneath was my horrible patchy unflattering…

So I just got a new job a few weeks ago and a probable diagnosis from my doctor (waiting to see my dermatologist) but all the tests so far support her conclusions.

Still this is very new to me and my hair gets worse every day. I will probably not wear a wig around family or friends but I've been fitted for one just in case I feel I need it.

The issue is now how do I tell people/boss at work, do I tell them. I don't want them to jump to conlusions about my health but I also feel…

I saw a girl with alopecia yesterday, and a guy the other week on the bus (probably, you never know). Göteborg is pretty small in comparison so for me this was huge. Made my day!

And without my alopecia I wouldn't even have noticed. Or I might have noticed and wondered why they didn't have hair.

I'm just sorry if I stared at the guy on the bus I was so elated. But of course I didn't ask him, I didn't want to bother him, I should have instead of staring as if I was the the…