Comment by Jacqueline on November 30, 2009 at 2:16pm

Dear Cal,

I felt the same way. I felt so relieved to have finally actually taken action and shaved my head, but now, six months on, I'm feeling a little tired of it. It's too cold to go out without anything on my head and sometimes scarves drive me crazy. I have no problem with having nothing on my head at home (I work from home so that's most of the day), but I am thinking of getting a wig. At first I was sure that I didn't want a wig after a bad experience trying on synthetic wigs, but now I'm feeling more flexible about it.

Comment by Dominique Cleopatra on November 30, 2009 at 10:37pm

Cal, it's awesome that you're having a great time with someone who is truly accepting of you, stubble burn and all! Everybody has something they feel self-conscious about whether it's their thighs or their cellulite, or some lines around the eyes, you get my point. But there's nothing wrong with getting a wig to wear sometimes when you feel like it. Since you've shaved it all, if you want to spend a little more money--you are a perfect candidate for a vacuum or freedom wig. This will suction to your head and should stay on during even the most amorous encounter or just for a night out on the town. Shaving your head is not the only way to take back some control in this situation. A wig or a few fun wigs will keep you from getting bored with your look. Wigs give us alopecians even more freedom than someone with hair. Who else could be a red head one day, a blonde the next, then a raven haired beauty, a sleek futuristic bald chick, and then a pink haired rocker, all in one week. Don't limit yourself. Have some fun, and enjoy!! You deserve it.

Comment by Mary on December 1, 2009 at 10:38am

Hi Cal - what you're feeling is totally understandable and many of us have been there. I experienced ups and downs for the better part of a year after shaving my head (then going rapidly AU). The "down" days eventually got farther and farther apart.

As for your new guy - just keep trying to BELIEVE that he finds you attractive. After almost 2 years bald, I still have moments when I wonder how my husband can find me beautiful - but he DOES.

Hang in there,
Mary

Comment by Cal on December 1, 2009 at 12:26pm

Thank you everyone, it's so good to know that what I'm feeling is normal.

The relationship is still very new, Daniel, only a fortnight or so of us being more than just friends. I go from being on top of the world to have met someone like him one second to being sure it will all end in tears the next, but that's for a whole load of reasons beyond my lack of hair. I don't think you can start a relationship when you're both in your thirties or above without there being a bit of baggage on both sides and we're still very much working our way through it. But anyway.

Dominique, that's a lovely way of thinking about it, thank you. I'm waiting for my dermatology appointment in the new year to get a prescription for an NHS wig, so I won't be spending heaps just now, but something to see me through the festive period without always either standing out or wearing a hat would be nice.

Thanks again, everyone. Riding out the bad bits is always rubbish but it's good to know I'm not the only one doing it.

Comment by Marie on January 18, 2010 at 3:13am

When I read what Daniel wrote, "your attractiveness is in your attitude, confidence, personality, knowing what he likes, what gets him interested, etc. - same as with all women", I couldn't have agreed more. It's true! Also, I totally embrace Dominique's attitude about wigs: They can be fun! There is a whole sub culture of women out there who DON'T have Alopecia and wear wigs all the time for that very reason. I met such a woman recently at the wig shop in our town and she made an amusing comment: "I would never get involved with a man who couldn't deal with me taking off my hair at night!" Amen, Sister!

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