I am so sick of everyone making comments about my head! I just had one of my good friends come over to pick up my daughter and take her fishing. As soon as she walked in the door she said "You shaved your head again, didn't you? I thought you was going to let it go". My response to her was, "Why does everybody keep making comments about my head? I am real tired of everybody saying something about my head every time they see me".
I am honestly sick of my family and friends constantly making comments about my head... Why are they so worried about if my hair goes back or not? What is the big F^ing deal?! I have told them all a million times that I am going to keep my head shaven until I see that all of my spots are growing in all together. What would be the point of letting it grow if all of it is not going to grow? They need to understand that I am still Me. I am still the same Kristen. But, the only thing they see is my bald head. They don't even notice me anymore. Its plenty enough for me to adjust to being bald and become comfortable with my look. I don't need everyone constantly making comments about me being bald. Its like people love to make jokes about baldness and then somehow direct that at me. I know that they are just playing around but they don't understand how hard it is to stay positive and keep up my self esteem. The only thing that's doing to me is making me with I had my hair back even more. And making it more difficult for me to cope with being bald.
You know... when you are bald for so long, you just don't think about it that much anymore. But, then someone has a remark. My dad said to me the other day "You look like a neo-natzi white serpremisses." I said back, "That nice... why would you crack on me like that?" and he said "Im not cracking... it's true... you do look like one, cuz they shave their heads." I'm sorry but that hurt my feeling! Everyone has something to say and I am so sick and tired of it. It hurts my feelings and makes me more self aware. My husband is the only one telling me that I look good bald. Him and a few of my friends here on Alopecia World.
I feel hurt that it seems like every conversation revolves around me being bald. I guess that's why I still won't go outside without my bandanna on. Because if I hear so much shit talkin at home, and it makes me so angry, I am afraid that if someone says something stupid to me out on the street somewhere, I am going to get physical because I have just had it up to and over the point of over-fill.
What should I do? Ignore them? That's hard to do when I live with these people. I let them know how I feel. I tell them that I feel like a giant bald head just walking around some times because my head seems to be the focus of every day. "Is it growing back?" "are you going to let it grow this time?" "you should let it grow to a certain point and then keep a short hair cut." HELLO PEOPLE... I HAVE PLACES ON MY HEAD THAT NO NOT HAVE HAIR... HOW IN THE HELL AM I GOING TO KEEP ANY KIND OF HAIR CUT? DUH... I HAVE ALOPECIA... I HAVE EXCEPTED IT SO WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR YOU TO EXCEPT!!!???
I just can't understand the mentality here. This is not all that new anymore. I have been bald for over a month. Every one has seem me a few times already. I am comfortable enough to answer sincere questions but I am going to sit silently by while people touch, inspect, and make comments about my head. IT'S MY HEAD DAMNIT!!!
Sorry fellow Alopecians. I have to vent this, other wise I'm going to start crying!
When will they ever shut up and leave me alone about my head????