Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Trina on March 12, 2008 at 11:50am

Alopecia is an upward battle. To go thru it as a teenager makes you sad. By adulthood it is like girl lets get on with life! Heck you cant change this disease just learn to accept it. You realize that you did nothing wrong and that you are a human being so lets move on. To think that people are so fortunate and complain all the time over silly things is crazy. You find a strength in you that you never knew existed and the will and desire to move on. With life comes experience and with experience comes love, self acceptance, and the idea that you can conquer anything

Permalink Reply by Ashley on March 12, 2008 at 12:26pm

I wouldn't trade having alopecia for anything in the world. Because, i think everyone needs the huge change of perspective that having alopecia makes you have. When you have it, you suddenly realize that looks really don't mean everything like our society teaches us. You can not have hair & still be gorgeous, I've seen plenty of girls on this site like that. Alopecia made me look at things so much differently. It has made me become more accepting. I think some of the nicest people i have ever met have something "wrong" with them. The people on this site are amazing people. I think that alopecia has made me realize just how strong I am, that i can make it through this & still be the kind to say the glass of water is "half full" not "half empty". =)
I have gotten made fun of before for my hair, & of course gotten stares, but most people feel bad after having made fun of me when they find out whats wrong. I think having alopecia & dealing with it has brought out who are my true friends...who stand up for me, & who walk away as i get made fun of. There are some heartless people out there, but there's nothing you can do about that other than hold your head up high, & go on with your life.
I just think its so sad the emphasis society places on hair. =( that needs to change.

Permalink Reply by Porcia on March 12, 2008 at 8:02pm

At first I was devastated. where I am from if you where a african american with long hair, you were a thing a beauty. At first my self esteem was shot. Not only did I loose my hair but developed a lupus induced rash on all places my face that left serious scarring. So my face was so messed up that some people thought my face was burn scars. But you know, going through this and still managing to keep myself together actually boosted my self esteem in ways that till this day, I'm still not sure how, but I am grateful nonetheless. I lost all my hair when I was 24 years old, but started seeing baldspots from when I was 12. I didn't want to leave my house I wanted to do everything possible to hide it and just not to be seen. But being a mother to two young children and my husband in the military, I couldn't afford to stay home and mope. I started to do research on my options because I love doing hair and I hated the wigs that was available to me. I started to read up on information on lace front wigs and how to make them, so I made my own. That right there was my empowering moment. that right there helped me to bring out my true passion of persuing hairstyling professionally. Losing my hair caused me to look at life not as why me, but how can I learn and benefit from this. I see it like this, if I didn't loose my hair, would I have found out how to make my own wigs and hairpieces? Probably not! I'm on my way to becoming a professional and recieving my license and finding my path. In all it definately gave me strength. Thanks for letting me write about this, and take care.

Permalink Reply by Trina on March 14, 2008 at 3:11pm

I can definately relate to this! had I note gone thru this I would have never known how to deal with real stress. I did not want to go out and felt unattrative. I learned to do my own hair. I realized it was who I am that defined me not how long my hair was. You can either pitty yourself or you can love you and live with it. I mean realze it is something you may fight your whole life and learning to deal with it and move on.

Permalink Reply by Shemika on March 14, 2008 at 5:25pm

Good for you! I think that was definitely a positive that came from this:)

Permalink Reply by Melissa on March 12, 2008 at 8:25pm

When I was growing up I would have given anything to be like all the other girls. But now...I think having Alopecia makes me cool and different! I really do think that if they came out with a cure, I wouldn't even take it. The only way I would is if it was a cream and I could grow eyebrows and eyelashes. Hahaha! Isn't it weird that that seems to be a lot of people's major gripe? The eyebrows/eyelashes? Well, I got a little off topic, but Alopecia definitely makes me stronger! I had to go through something that none of my friends did growing up, and that made me look at everything in my life from a different perspective. So without the Alopecia, I wouldn't be who I am today. And I LOVE who I am today!

Permalink Reply by Cate on March 13, 2008 at 5:21am

Alopecia makes me feel nothing..not sad, not depressed..not happy..not proud. I am proud, happy being the person i AM. What is hair, why do we let it define who we ARE? it should not be seen as a downside, not a unfortunate thing. People with hair, do they feel proud cos they have hair? Are they empathetic? Are they grounded? Or are they all about hair products and hairdressers? Hair does not define the individual, the brain and the charisma does. Hair is bullshit, sure alopecia is a pain in the ass..but i'd rather be proud of the person i am, and grateful that i have alopecia, cos in the end..you find the perfect lover and friends.

Permalink Reply by Kristen Ridenhour on March 14, 2008 at 5:39pm

At first i would definitely say it made me sad. I was scared to go out anywhere in public for a while. I would have given anything for it all to go away and my hair to come back. Before all my hair fell out, I was not the most self-confident person in the world. After it fell out, I was a lot worse (for a little), until i decided I didn't want this to affect my life. Now, I think if anything it has given me strength. I know I can overcome anything life throws at me and I am much more comfortable with who I am than I was before. I still have those days where I get down and wish I could be "normal". I do think it's sad that it took something like this to make me realize that the world can be a cruel place, that there are people that will take one look at you and judge you based on your appearance. I try to stay away from them though. I do have to say, as hard as it was at first, I am glad it happened and I would not change it one bit.

Permalink Reply by Shemika on March 15, 2008 at 3:41am

I am so happy that it gives you strength. No one should allow anything to take their inner strength. Whether its alopecia, a friend, a man, or anything! Nothing should take that from you. I'm so happy for you:)

Permalink Reply by Matt on March 18, 2008 at 1:46pm

My alopecia first manifested itself at a pretty young age (8) and progressed to "Universalis" at the beginning of high school (13-14). In a way, this was fortunate.

I think to an extent, personalities are determined by key events that take place during your young life. The younger you are, the bigger the change. For example, a core trait like introversion or extroversion will define itself when you're young. Your mind will flip to one extreme or the other depending on how you react to a situation (or two). As you get older, your personality will continue to change, but the changes are more subtle; refinements, really.

The highschool era is a pretty important time for identity development, I think. As such, it's normal to redefine yourself during this period.

So, I say I'm fortunate because I integrated alopecia into who I am during a time when redefining who you are is the soup de jour. The doesn't-have-hair thing became just another personality trait. I'm simplifying a bit, though. It wasn't all roses. The alopecia was a catalyst for other events, negative events, that would also have an effect on who I became. For example, while I was ok with the hairlessness, the low self-esteem resulting from the awkward treatment by others was an unfortunate side-effect. I'm still digging myself out of that hole.

To answer your question, at this point in my life, as a relatively young adult with a mostly-established personality, I'd say having alopecia makes me feel neither sad, nor strong. It defines the baseline. In all honesty, there are times when I regret not having eyebrows or eyelashes, though. They play a big part in communicating emotion, and I resent the apparent "cold" demeanor I project.

Having said all that, if I'm having a particularily bad day, I'm more likely to tip towards "sad" than "strong".

Permalink Reply by kastababy on March 18, 2008 at 11:45pm

You know, sometimes I wonder if I would have pushed myself so hard not just to succeed in everything but excel in everything I touched if I didn't have alopecia. I think that Matt is right on the money when he says that personalities are determined by the key events that happen in your young life. I was already a huge extrovert as a smaller child; after alopecia came into my life I went through a period of introversion, but for the most part I became a bigger extrovert -- more outgoing, more flamboyant, more outspoken. I tell my best friend Sabrina all the time that I would not be the person that I am, the person that she knows and loves, had it not been for my alopecia.

I have determined to live my life as a life not exclusively defined by alopecia; rather, I want to live a life defined by my achievements. Have I reached out and made an impact on someone's life? Have I made a difference in the world? Because I consciously make the decision to persevere in spite of my alopecia and not let it bring my life and the plan for my life to a screeching halt, I would say that 90% of the time alopecia makes me a very strong individual. If I am going to be totally honest, then I would say that 5% of the time it makes me sad, because I don't fit the standard of beauty, and I would be lying if I said that that doesn't affect me sometimes. The other 5% of the time I can't say what alopecia makes me do, simply because I don't think about it.

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